With the advent of Fifty Shades, smartphones and Tinder, author Andy Jones asks, is romance dead? Or is it just different nowadays? The jury's still out...
Andy Jones
They don't make romance like they used to
Posted on: Thu 21-Jul-16 18:02:53
(43 comments )
Let’s say you’re 70 today (happy birthday, by the way), you were born in 1946 and you would have been dating some time in the 1960s. You might have gone to the cinema to see My Fair Lady in 1964; Doctor Zhivago in 1965; Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf in 1966; or, one of my personal favourites, The Graduate in 1967.
By contrast, these are the romantic films on offer in the last couple of years: Fifty Shades of Grey, Trainwreck and a remake of Cinderella.
No wonder they say romance is dead.
The last three decades have brought us some amazing advances: email, smartphones, one-minute rice. But I can't name one truly great romantic movie since When Harry Met Sally. I know there will be a few, but without stopping to really think about it, the best I can come up with is Four Weddings and a Funeral – it's very good, but even this is 20 years old. And, to be honest, I'd rather watch It's a Wonderful Life, The Apartment or Singin' in The Rain.
Have we become less romantic? I don't know, but I do think we've become more distracted. The world is at our fingertips; we're bombarded with messages, clips, tips, offers, options. We can do anything, so feel that we must do it all. We're spoiled for choice, and choice, I think, may be spoiling us.
These new daters have nothing to talk about because they've seen the week's highlights on Facebook or Instagram. They're less likely to watch a big-screen movie about real people with real issues, than a box set about vampires, drug dealers or battling clans. It's not bad, but it ain't romantic.
Go to any bar, restaurant or picnic blanket, and instead of couples staring into each other's eyes, they're more likely to be staring at a phone. These new daters have nothing to talk about because they've seen the week's highlights on Facebook or Instagram. They're less likely to watch a big-screen movie about real people with real issues, than a box set about vampires, drug dealers or battling clans. It's not bad, but it ain't romantic.
So is romance really dead? For my young daughters' sakes I hope not. But it's certainly different. The way people meet, talk, interact is different now. We have different attitudes to sex, fidelity, commitment. Some of this is undoubtedly for the better, some of it, well the jury's out. On Tinder, probably. We should be careful though, when it comes to making judgements on one generation's version of the world. It wasn't so long ago that a flash of ankle was considered obscene, and I'm rather partial to a flash of ankle.
Attitudes to romance may change, but real love is the same now as it's always been. It's hardwired into our hearts. The kids holding hands today will find love in their own sweet way. And when they do, it will knock them off their feet, like it did their mother, their grandfather, their great-great-granny.
In the unlikely event that my daughters ever ask my advice on matters of the heart, I'll tell them to go and rent a movie. And make it an old one.
Andy's book The Trouble With Henry and Zoe is published by Simon and Schuster and is available from Amazon now.