Estranged family members birthday.

Do what you think right, only you know what you think of him. I would send a card, but I am a softie, he is still your brother, despite being the black sheep, he probably doesn't send any himself. I know if I go against my gut instinct I regret it.

I wouldn't send a card - he made his feelings known when he said 'he has no dad and sisters'.
But that's me - you should do what you think is best.

I’d send a card, he is your brother.

Send a card saying you know he feels that he has no sisters and that is his right but that you still feel you have a brother and want to wish him happy birthday

Yes I agree with Madgran you are obviously concerned about him and the family estrangement. You can only try to reach out to him. Good luck.

I'd hold out an olive branch and send a card. If he ignores it then I'd leave it at that.

Forget about him.

He has chosen to have no connection with his father and sisters. Why not respect that decision? If he should regret his decision later, it's for him to make the first move.

Send a card.. be the bigger person. Don't ask to meet or anything that's up to your brother now

I would definitely send a card. If ever in doubt, do the kind thing.

Yes, I'd be sending a card also. I hate upset and would want to let him know you thought of him.

Trust your gut.

Thank you for your input. The added issue is that I don't have his address so just have to send via social media which isn't ideal.

Oh I d definitely send a card but I d never mention anything about the incident and please don’t say ‘I know you think you’ve got no sisters etc etc’ that will just open it all up and sound judgemental just send a card saying you are always thinking of him and hope he has a Happy Birthday xx and personally I d do that every year wether I get an answer or not

Here here bluebelle- some of these other replies seem very bitter to me. . No wonder family estrangements happen

Contact him. It may be his last birthday...

People do have the right to take themselves off, for whatever reasons. He has made his choice, let him be.

Keep the door open by sending your greetings - even if late

Respect his wishes - BUT, say a prayer for him and wish him well in your heart.

I am also estranged from my brother.

This year I sent him a happy birthday text and got a thank you back.

On my birthday I got an abusive message with a happy birthday at the end which upset me for the whole day.

Don't do it unless you are prepared to get abuse in return.

Acknowledge him and send him greetings. These relationships are often difficult but please support it. I have 2 foster daughters and it has sometimes been difficult but things do settle down eventually if you can stay strong and resolutely reinforce the relationship without blame or bearing grudges. It is more important to him than you may realise, whatever has been said.

Hang on in there - good luck!

Send a card and tell him you will always love him.

Is part of your hesitancy because you fear it might cause some upset for your elderly father? I could certainly understand that you wish to avoid any family strife for him. If that is a possibility then personally I would leave things be at present.

Twelve years with no contact did see an end. Hang in there