I am feeling so very low, sad and alone and old!!! Suffering from such selfish negative feelings- I am often watching other people and couples my age and members of family around me & I end up feeling deflated as they all appear to have so much more. On Normal days I can push these horrible negative emotions away but days like today get bad - I then turn to food & just sit & just escape into watching TV - I am very lucky I have a job at my age that keeps me focused and although not financially well off I am able to enjoy little pleasures in life until that is when I retire after which I will just depend on state pension so I will remain working until my brain or body dictates otherwise - I have 3 beautiful grandchildren although I have to make ‘appointment’ with son and his partner when to see them - I am lucky I live close to them also - I am lucky I have good health but overweight which I am to blame for & I look in mirror and just see ugliness staring back at me!!!! i am lucky I have a roof over my head even if it is a small one bedroom apartment and I have food to eat - I really do have to question myself - why am I so negative about myself - I find when I detach myself from myself - if you know what I mean - I really do dislike how I think sometimes in that I seriously want to kick hard real hard my backside and shout at me to BUCK UP!!! I know I could easily find things to do to keep me focused but I really find it difficult to find within me that ‘get up and go’ feeling - does anyone else suffer like this? Selfish negative feelings ....
Awwww, he is so happy to see me…..