I am in desperate need of advice , and really have no one to ask.
Those that have read previous posts know that the last time I saw my son, his fiancée and GD, then aged 3 months, was last Boxing Day. I don’t know why, but they haven’t been near since. I have mobility problems and suffer from anxiety. Apart from 2 dentist and a a doctors appointment, I haven’t left the house since the end of January. My son knows all my problems, but kept saying if I wanted to see them I had to go to their second storey flat.
Anyway, situation now is, they have moved to a house, 2 hours drive away. This was in August, I have sent the occasional text message, and he sometimes replies, he told me a week before the move. I sent another text a few days later asking about the house and could I have an address to send flowers etc, no reply. I sent the odd message, upbeat, asking how they are and giving family gossip, he sometimes replied in like.
Then two weeks ago he contacted me on FaceTime out of the blue !and we had a nice chat, his dad was with me, and it was lovely. Then he said the reason he had phoned was because they were due another child in the new year and as his fiancée had put it on Facebook, he didn’t want me to hear from someone else. We were shocked, but said the right things, though my husband was still a little short with him.
He said we would be welcome to visit, he would let me have the address when I arranged a date, DH muttered something about thinking on it, and the call ended.
Since then nothing, I sent a message saying we were pleased to hear from him, and glad with the news and that he is happy and well, no reply. He doesn’t answer any calls, not since last Christmas, it’s only text, normally in the morning when he is on his way to work I think, the time he has read it comes up under the message, it can take days for him to open a message. I have tried to get DH to take me, but he says “he doesn’t want to go where he isn’t wanted, the fiancée has made it clear she doesn’t want us, and our GD doesn’t even know us.” He also feels that I will get stressed about it, and then get upset when my beloved GD doesn’t recognise us, I suppose he’s right on that. My other children, both drive, and live at home, when I mentioned their brother they say he’s gone by his own choice, if he wants to see them , he can come here.
What do I do, what do I say to my son.
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I've no experience of your situation either, Nanagem, but hope that others come along who can advise you, as Teetime says. What an awful situation you're in.
For what it's worth, I think you need to see your son and his family. He has told you you'd be welcome and it looks as though this is the only way you'll find out their address, so that you can keep in closer touch. Surely your DH or one of your other children would drive you there, even if they chose not to go in? Best wishes to you. 
NangemI want to begin by telling you how sorry I am. I remember your other posts and it's very sad to learn that there's been little improvement.
Please show this to your husband because as a mother who has been estranged from her youngest son for 6 years, has never seen her youngest GC and hasn't seen the eldest since he was 8 months, don't let this opportunity, as small as it may seem, pass you by.
I don't doubt it will be upsetting to see your GD and know that she doesn't know you're her GP's; we'd feel the same. As long as you're aware this will be the case, and you appear to be, it wont come as a complete surprise.
Despite your d.i.l., your son has told you about the new baby and asked you to visit. It was our DS who told us our ES was to become a father for a second time.
I totally understand your H not going where he's not wanted but please try to arrange a visit and go. If it doesn't work out which I hope and pray wont be the case, you tried.
Although I don't think it would be a good idea to do this, the alternative could be that your H drops you off and then picks you up when the visit is over. I do think that if he did this, it could make the situation worse but at least you'd be able to go.
I hope you can work something out.
I do hope that your DH will take you, even if he makes an excuse not to go in himself, although it would be lovely if he could just pop in to see his grandchild.
Now your son has tentatively offered a first step, I hope you and your DH will take it, with a smile and no recriminations.
when I mentioned their brother they say he’s gone by his own choice, if he wants to see them , he can come here.
sometimes stubbornness gets in the way of good family relationships. 
Nanagem
What an unhappy situation.
If you have 2 ACs living at home, whi both drive, would they drive you there, while away a couole if hours in the nearest shopping area and pick you up later. After all, I'm sure that you're doing all sorts of things for them at home and I bet they're not paying you much (if they're of working age)
Their brother chose to stand on his own two feet, something his siblings are not doing so for them to remark that he chose to move away is silly. He needs somewhere larger for his growing family.
I wonder why your DH was 'funny' about the recent news of a new baby, after all, he's not being asked to contribute anything time or money-wise.
Could you perhaps ask Age Concern if they know if anyone who could help with transport. Of course, you would need to pay a small sum for petrol which is to be expected.
Failing that, a taxi to your station and perhaps your son could pick you up from there. Rail companies have assistants to help those who have difficulty walking or carrying bags. You'd need to mention this when buying your ticket, meanwhile, do let your son know that you're making every effort to see him.
I wish you lots of luck and a happy visit. 
Apologies for typos...who/couple/of/of 
Oh that's terribly sad wellingtonpie.
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