Two of my older adult children have now been estranged from each other almost 2yrs after a falling out between them- i continued to ring/ see both separately,NOT mentioning either to the other at all as i didn't want to upset them,but one of them still took umbrage with me,as i think it was ( mistakenly) felt I'd spent more time with one than the other,(i only visit a few times a yr anyway as i live 80miles away) and,feeling a bit jealous i guess,that sibling then fell out with me,i couldnt see my GC either,so it hurt,and i hadnt done anything wrong- this went on for 6mths,(i still sent txts for all birthdays etc,so they knew i cared& loved them.Their eldest sibling mediated and in the end my son 'came round' to the sense the eldest was saying and made up with me- but i still don't mention his rift with his sister- however,i tell her about things I've done with his kids( trips,birthdays) as she genuinely loves& misses them all,and i can tell how much she misses her brother,as they were always so close,did things together as families with all their kids,and its a shame as theyre missing out on each other too.But i never tell them of any 'wrongdoings' or such,or 'get them onside'- im not even sure what's meant by that- my daughter knew my son had fallen out with me too for a bit,but we never 'hashed it over' or anything,we just enjoyed our own visits.as i do now with each of them.I just keep hoping one they will make up and be friends again.they're all missing out on so much precious time.