I would appreciate some assistance on how to act/ what to say in this situation.
Very sadly ( and I really mean this) I asked my husband to leave several months ago. I can't add too much detail but we have been through a lot as most marriages have; illness, bankruptcy, career changes, etc A huge bug bear was my husbands refusal to pick up over time in a fairly well paid job and his prioritising 'gym time' and swimming at the beach over earning money to scrap by or helping in the house. I woukd have loved family trips out but found for several years that I was picking uo wet towels etc and the only parent taking the lead on money/ anything serious and although I'd ask for help or try to make things fun and say'morninf chores on a Saturday then rest of day we can have fun' it woukdnt happen. Even the kids started calling me 'no fun mummy' it was very upsetting actually. I work 6 short days a week and my husband worked 3 long days so would have significant time in the house without the kids but woukd resent doing anything other than gym/ beach
I have become ill and having picked up (several) extra part time jobs have frazzled myself. I have fibromyalgia ... But that's an after thought- it's made no difference- I've had to work. I do acknowledge that it makes me more tired and less patient than I was.
We had my step son( husbands adult son of 28) live with us for a year and that put extra strain on our marriage. After 12 months of him living like a hamster in a darkened unwashed room! I suggested he find a rental with a friend.... I've now be accused of kicking him out.
Many things happened for me to ask my husband to leave. I think he suffers with aspergers and he can be quite unkind, push into things and tbh SOmetiems scares me. He is a big man, towers over me and can be very surly. We had an incident with some bins being thrown when a friend was visiting me( he didn't know my friend was here and she was very upset although I down played it) the same
Week I had fallen asleep by my daughter and he came
Home from work, left all the lights
Off and sneaked upstaira, slammed on the bedroom lights and without apology just said 'I didn't know where you were' He didn't apologise for jumping me awake, or them the light off or laugh it off or say 'oh there you are' he just stalked off and left it as though i had done something dreadful. He got suspended twice at work- once
For putting something innapropriate on Facebook and secondly for unprofessional conduct / basically gossiping. This was when we were financially strapped and meant no extra for weekend work and he was passed up
For
Promotion the following year. His behaviour can be a little odd.
My sisters
And friends have often said I suffer 'domestic sbuse' I don't agree but I think my husband gets stressed and doesn't think about his words and actions but he often would call me 'mental' or refuse to acknowledge that he was speeding in his car for example ( I always though I suffered car sickness as was so anxious in a car) I've recently discovered I don't have car sickness- it was my husbands driving. What a revelation.
I dot want to make anyone uncomfy but Intimacy was a huge issue. I felt sick sleeping with him; he wouldn't listen and wld sometimes be too rough- afterwards id cry in the loo and try to hide I'm only 40- I didn't want 30-50 more years
Of this.
My two young children idolise their daddy and come back fromSeeing him sayig 'why don't you love daddy anymore' and daddy says he doesn't know why you are angry with him.
The truth is, the two moths without him here has been the most relaxed I've ever felt. I've just had some fairly major surgery so feel a little wobbly but nothing compared with how I feel when he is here. Maybe my friends are right- maybe he did make me jumpy and anxious
My lovley inlaws dote on him and although I am very fond of them I believe that he has told them lots
Of lies. I feel incredibly guilty as they moved hundreds of miles to live very near us so that we could look after them
Through retirement and illness. I've now split the family up and from the outside it looks like I'm heartless
And kicked him out for no reason
My husband works in a female dominated environment and these Women have often been quite Off with me. Goodness knows what is said in this very small Area that we live
In.
I know this smacks of self pity and I need to shake that off. I
Made this decision and feel
Mentally better for it and my children won't grow up thinking it's ok for mummy to be spoken to like that etc... But I have an over riding sense of failure. He tells people I'm 'mental' and I find it very embarrassing. I love my onlaws dearly but have failed because I gave up on the marriage. Has anyone got any thoughts on how to handle my (ex) inlaws who I'm very fond of and how to handle this whole
Situation. Many thanks
Angela Rayner lashes out and calls Sunak “pint sized loser”.
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Gary Glitter programme Tuesday
To think that London, or anywhere else for that matter, does not belong to any one demographic