My husband's eldest brother and his wife live about 2 hours away from us and are very wealthy and have no children. The live a very sheltered life, are kind people but very controlling. They refuse to let us pay for anything which makes us feel like the poor relations (which we are, having had 3 children). Their ideal holidays are a remote self catering cottage where my sister in law can practise her excellent cooking skills. Exactly the sort of holiday I hate. We don't see them all year and my husband never arranges to meet them, but as soon as the elder brother says "jump" my husband obeys immediately. Five years ago or so they invited us to one of their remote holiday cottages abroad and we went. They never eat lunch which posed a problem as my husband is diabetic. No matter how many times he has said he needs to eat lunch, (comments like - why do we need this?) they seem unable to understand this, they are so set in their ways, so my husband ended up nibbling cracker biscuits. The same with my refusal to drive - brother in law nagged me over and over every time I saw him "when are you going to drive that car?" I never responded as I didn't want to seem rude, just suffered in silence. I'm a hopeless driver.
In 2019 they asked us again to a remote cottage abroad and I refused to go which caused an flaming row with my husband, who said I was obstructive and difficult and why did he always have to apologise to his brother. I told him to go on his own, we are not joined at the hip, and he said he would, but in the end he did not go, saying now he "did not want to". Now the brother and his wife have booked another remote self catering cottage abroad for the end of August and have invited 2 brothers and 1 sister and their partners. I know my husband wants to go, but I am hoping and praying we will not be allowed to go due to Covid. I am hopeless at standing up to bullies, never know what to say, don't want another row with my husband over it, and have resolved to keep quiet, but it's on my mind all the time, I'm an anxious person. I can't understand why my husband always obeys his brother but at the same time is unable to stand up to him. A complicated relationship. How do I deal with it?
How do you acknowledge Easter.