Intimacy and Affection

Doesn't sound good people need to feel wanted

leave her then. She is giving you the signs she doesn't want you in my opinion.

It sounds like she could be pushing you away because she's scared to let her guard down. She maybe feels vulnerable and can't bring herself to trust you or believe that you truly want her.

Would counselling together help, talking her feelings and worries through might help both of you.
You sound very caring AOB1985 and I hope you can help your fiancée.

You need to both sit down together and discuss this properly, it needs sorting before you get married, if everything else is fine it could be she’s feeling vulnerable still, you say she used to initiate into acing and affection, so what’s changed, something has, speak to her AOb , hopefully you can sort things out

Something happened 6 months ago, now she is telling you to go if you don’t like the way things are.
Talk to her, ask what happened and if you can both work to change things.
Sadly I don’t think she still feels the same.

My husband is just the same he does not show any affection only to the dog. I would have a long talk to her it’s not nice at all I feel so lonely take care

have raised it but she just dismisses it and tells me if I don't like it then I should go find someone else

She couldn't make it any plainer. She's not looking for a way to resolve this. She's given you the bottom line of where she stands and the only thing left for you to decide is "is this the way I want to spend the rest of my life?"
Sorry OP but I think the writing's on the wall.

What brought you to this site AOB with this problem

Given that the OP appears to be planning on having children, I don’t quite understand why they are posting on Gransnet.

Maybe he already has children and is a Grandad with a new younger woman. However I doubt it. By his user name I would think he is in his 30s.
I don’t think it’s a good relationship without intimacy and affection and my advice to him is to bring it to an end. He may feel sorry for her because of her past but he also has to think about himself.

She is damaged and can’t trust, so is building a wall to protect herself it is not at all uncommon, it will make no difference if you marry her, time to move on.

Personaly i would go,
You can`t live with someone who can say that to you and treat
you so coldly,and i don`t think she will change either,well not with that attitude anyway.

I agree with other posters that the relationship seems to be going downhill.

In your position, I might try one last time to really talk about it. If she doesn't want intimacy with you, I think you should leave.

An older couple might not wish for intimacy but, for most young people, that is probably not the case. Yes, there are exceptions.

You say that she has children, so intimacy was not a problem in the past, with someone else.
Since you say that you were looking forward to having children together, your fiancee is till fertile, but could it be that she sees the menopause approaching and is frightened, of what it will "do" to her: reduce her attractiveness, cause her problems.
Reassure her that these are not real issues.
Maybe, she feels that having had children is enough, and does not want more?
Is there some health problem that thinks / knows she has but is not revealing to you?
You need to talk things through, to find out what happened six months ago to bring this on.
This is not a time to be anything other than extremely gentle and sympathetic.
Good Luck!