I visit my mother every other day and spend some hours with her who is aged 90 this year & who has dementia. I also do her shopping getting the basics and mum has a carer who attends on mum in mornings and evenings staying with mum for approximately 30 mins each visit. Physically mum is good although suffers from some ostéoporoses. She is very demanding requiring much attention and praise. Mum has a very bad memory so you are continuously having to repeat yourself over and over and basically you have the same conversation on
every single visit. She thrives on family pictures and spends most of her time showing the family album and the numerous pictures on her walls. You also have to be careful not to stress mum or disagree with anything she says or does as she can become quite angry towards you. Mum has become very childlike and we have noticed she is at her best when in the company of small children - you can see her face light up. After each visit with mum I return home and I feel absolutely drained, tired and depressed and always the next day I do not have the energy to do anything. I believe emotionally / mentally it wears me down. I am 68 and am not 100% myself with heart disease now controlled by medication / stents and am diabetic and am overweight which does not help. I am desperately trying to lose weight but I do comfort eat crap. I love my mum although during my childhood we have had our ups and downs as most do. I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers - one of my sisters is an absolute diamond who has always had a better bond with mum but does live further away but does visit mum when she can and stays with her for 1 or 2 days and even she has said to me she feels drained by end of visit comparing mum to a toddler. We are lucky for now in that mum can physically look after herself and is very clean and hygienic. I honestly feel dread now when I know I must visit her knowing how much it drains and depresses me and this makes me feel so very guilty and simply a crappy daughter!
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