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Stuck in relationship with distant man

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LaCrepescule Wed 01-Feb-23 11:10:35

Hello ladies, please help! I’m 65 and have been in a relationship for around 16 months. We don’t live together but have recently got engaged. We spend 2 nights a week together but see eachother everyday to walk our dogs. He’s very supportive and does a lot for me and is pressurising me to spend more time with him and start talking about dates to get married. I'd be happy to do this but he's become increasingly cold towards me (showing very little physical affection) and can be taciturn and moody.
When I mention this to him he just shrugs it off and reassures me that he loves me. I’m feeling more and more unhappy and all attempts at communicating my needs to him have failed. He always ends up telling me I’m being emotional (of course I am!) and shuts down the conversation. Last night I was staying at his but ended up going home because I was getting the cold shoulder. I feel I should end this relationship as it’s not making me happy but after 12 years of being single, I’m scared of being alone! My family is rampant with cancer and I feel it's going to be me next and will need someone to support me (I do have a lovely daughter though). I keep telling myself I’ll give him one more chance and then going back on it. This formerly fairly contented independent woman has become so needy and I feel trapped. Should I give him an ultimatum (and vow to stick to it) or just end it?

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LaCrepescule Fri 10-Feb-23 15:43:53

It’s a small town Poppy but I’ll do my best!

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choughdancer Fri 10-Feb-23 16:22:28

Funny thing is, now that I’m single again, I don’t really feel alone and can fully appreciate family, friends , work etc.

That's BRILLIANT to hear LaCrepescule!

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bernard21 Mon 13-Mar-23 10:45:16

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Georgesgran Mon 13-Mar-23 10:50:42

Reported

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GrammyGrammy Mon 13-Mar-23 10:59:38

It's a no brainer. What are you playing at, girlfriend! Run for the hills. End it. There is so much in your post that says this is not the relationship for you. End it and then have a ball looking after yourself and your dog. You do not have cancer so stop with the funeral planning for your cancer death. Stop it! You want to be looked after? Then look after you! At the moment you have written a great self- description of your situation and you aren't painting a great picture. So get rid of the dead weight and start creating the most fabulous life for yourself. He is horrible by the way. But you know that. Run for the hills.

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Shinamae Mon 13-Mar-23 11:09:04

Been without a relationship now for over 30 years and I’m absolutely fine. I do date occasionally but really can’t even be bothered with that now…🤓

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Shinamae Mon 13-Mar-23 11:10:03

Shinamae

Been without a relationship now for over 30 years and I’m absolutely fine. I do date occasionally but really can’t even be bothered with that now…🤓

Mind you being asexual probably helps….

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ExDancer Mon 13-Mar-23 11:20:04

I am married to a cold insensitive man - don't do it.

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GrammyGrammy Mon 13-Mar-23 11:20:16

LaCrepescule

I just wanted to update you lovely GNers. It took me a couple of goes but I’m rid of him; I saw him tonight and wanted to give him a second chance (I know that’s pathetic) but he behaved SO badly. The evening ended up with him throwing my belongings all over the stairs and I’m glad he did it because I know if he’s capable of that, he’s capable of anything 😔 I’ve blocked him so I need to stay strong. Sad because our dogs got on so well but hopefully my boy can make new friends. I felt scared of him and now I know why.

So proud of you!
Has he tried to contact you since?
How are you doing?

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GrammyGrammy Mon 13-Mar-23 11:20:53

ExDancer

I am married to a cold insensitive man - don't do it.

Can you end it and get away?

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25Avalon Mon 13-Mar-23 12:51:20

If he’s cold now what makes you think he will look after you when you are ill and need tlc?

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Juniorlloyd Wed 22-Mar-23 05:59:04

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thomasmile Tue 28-Mar-23 06:53:55

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