I am in my early 70s and have two beautiful, small grandkids. My daughter was later getting married and is now in her 40s. Despite the fact that she had a very difficult childhood due to my divorcing twice, we were always very close and once our lives settled down when she was in her teens, I felt able to make amends to some extent for the past. She want to university and my (now) husband and I gave her a lump sum to help her buy her first flat. Also her childhood did have some happy times. I know that a difficult childhood can never be replaced and I wish more than anything in the World I could turn the clock back and change things but I can't. Just before my daughter got married, she started having therapy and she became distant with me. When she got married she didn't ask me to go with her to choose her wedding dress, though I promised to pay for it and did. At her wedding her Gran sat next to her at the table and not me, though I was pleased for her Gran and when she became pregnant she didn't wan't me to touch her and kept her distance. Before the baby was born she said she wanted to talk to me and asked me many questions about the past which I answered honestly. I foolishly thought this would sort things out but it hasn't. She remains distant with me much of the time and isn't remotely interested in anything I do or say unless it suits her. I have helped her out considerably since she had her children, particularly when her husband has been away on business. I spend lots of time and money on the as a family and always go the extra mile to be a good Gran because I love them all so much. My daughter has been going through a period of high anxiety over the last few months and I have supported her as much as possible with this given that she is well over an hour's drive away. The problem is that she is so scathing with me every time I say or do something that she feels isn't right or not in her interests. It is hurtful to the point where now I really am beginning to feel abused by her. She laid into me again recently about something I said and I really had no idea that I'd done wrong. It's almost like she can never forgive me for the past and constantly wants to beat me over the head with it. Heaven knows I've said sorry to her for the past a million times over but it doesn't seem to change things. I am truly heartbroken and hurting. I don't want to have a row with her for reasons which are probably obvious to many of you and I would take a bit of a step back from her but don't want to lose the love of my grandchildren. Sometimes though, I feel like leaving her to just get on with it. She knows she needs me but she also knows she has the upper hand because of the children. I am a sensible, active woman who isn't given to feeling like a victim but I am really sad right now.
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