Dear Hapgran, please try not to worry, or turn away from your faith purely for this reason, supposing you did & you were the first to go , you have no way of knowing whether or not your children may become believers at sometime in the future & then you would have given up your faith in vain. I do absolutely feel for you & your love for your family, but as I understand it if we are believers, we are answerable to God as individuals so you will know from that , that we mere mortals cannot safeguard or guarantee what happens us or to anyone else we hold dear . if you come to the conclusion that you are not a believer any more then that is fine , but to pretend that you don't believe to try & ensure you all end up in the same place is taking a huge gamble & proberbly going to make you unhappy whilst you are still here, & your children wouldn't want that, they are obviously happy with their own opinions & would probably be upset for you if they knew what you are contemplating.