Is there ever a right time to give a child their first mobile phone? Is it something that parents should worry about? Author Jane Costello reveals her own decision-making process and what it meant for her and her son.
Jane Costello
When should children be given mobile phones?
Posted on: Thu 23-Jun-16 10:37:47
(19 comments )
When a child reaches the age of 11, choosing a birthday present is not the easy task it once was. By then, they’re no longer overcome with excitement at the prospect of a big plastic Fisher Price item with flashing lights and music. And they’re beyond flicking through the Argos catalogue, deciding they’d like every last Lego kit - including the large-scale replica of Belgium, at a cost of £899.
As my son approached his 11th birthday, there was only one gift on his wish list - a mobile phone. After all, ALL of his friends had one (allegedly). My default position was a simple: not a chance, you’re far too young.
I pointed out that I didn’t get my first mobile until I was in my twenties, although in those days they had the dimensions of a house brick and all you could do with them was make an actual phone call.
But when I stopped to think about the issue, I realised I didn’t know what would be a good time for him to have one. The fact that I instinctively felt he was too young meant little. That’s the feeling every parent has whenever their child reaches a small milestone; the first time you let go of their hand and they walk into school, or release the seat of their bike and they pedal off independently.
Faced with this dilemma, I had two choices: I could do what parents have done since the dawn of time and stick with my instincts, or I could Google it.
Still, my concern felt like a valid one. Specifically, because the capabilities of the average phone today goes beyond making calls. And, while it’s fine for me to tinker about with social media, for a multitude of well-documented reasons, it felt like we’d be crossing a line for him.
Faced with this dilemma, I had two choices: I could do what parents have done since the dawn of time and stick with my instincts, or I could Google it.
When I went for the latter, I was surprised by what I found. The debate about the best time to buy a mobile phone was both rife and divided on most internet forums. Some parents claimed that every eight-year-old in their child’s class had one. Others implied that anything that didn’t involve swotting for SATs and rehearsing their recital of Prokofiev’s second concerto in G minor was inherently evil.
What became clear was that, for the majority of parents, the year before starting secondary school was a key moment. This was a time when a child experienced a surge in independence, when parents simply had to let go a bit and not have their eyes on them constantly. In that context, having a means to reach them had its benefits.
After some discussion with my son’s father, we decided - against my initial thoughts – to go ahead and buy him one, on the condition that social media was not allowed and he could only communicate with people he knew in real life.
It’s been several months since he’s had one now and it’s clear that I needn’t have worried. He plays games on it, texts his class mates and – when he actually remembers to take it with him if he’s out at a friend’s house – I can now get in touch with him if I need to.
Other than that, it proved a bit of a storm in a teacup. But on the plus side, it takes up a lot less room than those Lego sets.
Jane’s new novel, Summer Nights at the Moonlight Hotel, is out now in paperback and eBook.
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