Gransnet Newsletter 10 April
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Children's books (up for grabs) plus Frank Lampard (not up for grabs)
Kids' book of the month
Meet Pockety, the tortoise who lived as she pleased and the star of April's book club choice. A tale for young and old - and we have 50 copies to give away. Form an orderly queue...
Kids' book of
the month
Picture book of the month
Cats sit on mats, hares on chairs, mules on stools and gofers on sofas. But Frog really does not want to sit on a log. 50 copies of the hilarious Oi Frog! on offer too.
Picture book of
the month
Frank Lampard
Frank Lampard
Women's football, life outside the beautiful game and Roald Dahl...just some of the things that came up in our exclusive Q&A with Chelsea's all-time leading goalscorer. Catch up with what Frank had to say.
Frank Lampard
Marie Kondo
Keep calm and declutter
If, like us, you are of the school of "keep it, it may come in handy one day", then this could be the webchat for you. Japan's expert declutterer Marie Kondo has offered to share her "once cleaned, never messy again" approach with all gransnetters who like "stuff" as much as we do... Add your questions for her now.
Get an amazing 15% off when you spend £35 on your first order - exclusive to Gransnet. New customers can receive a huge 15% discount on their first order using the code TREATG15 with our fantastic new spring/summer collections as well as some great new products in our holiday range.
Richard Overy
WW1 - Richard Overy Q&A
Author of more than 25 books on the era of the World Wars and Professor of History at the University of Exeter, Richard Overy will answering your questions to mark the anniversary of WW1. Add them to the thread before 17 April.

Richard Overy
The Enlightenment of Nina Findlay
Free books!
Perhaps romantic love is always a kind of undiagnosed madness... Seven copies of Andrea Gillies' latest novel, The Enlightenment of Nina Findlay, to give away.
Book giveaway
How to be an "everyday angel"
A motto on a corny plastic fridge magnet sums up children's author Karen McCombie's outlook on life; "You're only here a wee while, so be nice." It's got her thinking how to get that same (non-corny) message across to the junior generation… 
Karen McCombie
Guest blog post
Parkinson's Awareness Week: Gran interrupted
Dawn May was looking forward to the birth of her first grandchild when she was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease two years ago. Since then she has refused to let it stop her doing the things she enjoys, and has even become a children's author, writing books that gently deal with the issue of Parkinson's.
Dawn May
Guest blog post

Up for grabs this week: 
Exclusive offers
  • We have 5% off bookings at Park Resorts with code SV2013
  • Save 25% off all orders at Monster Pets with code SAVOO25
  • We've got 10% off orders over £40 at Chemist Direct with code SAV345
  • Save 10% off orders at Boux Avenue with code SAV10BA3
  • We have £10 off when you spend £100 at The Jewel Hut with code SPRINGSAVE
From the forums...

This week JessM was put out, nay somewhat aggravated to find herself unable to shrug off a top that she had bought for her MiL in the Llandudno branch of M&S. "AIBU to expect that the wretched top should now leave me alone and stop stalking me around the internet?" she wailed. Alas turns out inanimate objects have a nasty habit of turning clingy. "I was once followed by a floor steamer for a few weeks. Oh and a selection of dog collars from Pets for Us" revealed glammanana. While we at GNHQ are being hotly pursued by "miracle" drugs to get our thyroids up to speed and leave us all looking like supermodels. Hmmm.

Food, never far from our thoughts <revisits thyroid ads> has been high on the agendas of many gransnetters this week. Marelli recalled the time, early in her relationship with her DH, that he "made a badly thought-out remark about the consistency of his fried egg, which I'd served to him in bed. I was a strong lass in those days (still am) and so I turned him over and shoved the offending egg where the sun didn't shine - crispy edges and all! I'm better at frying eggs these days, although oddly enough DH (yes, we are still together) still prefers to cook his own for some reason." Can't think why.

Meanwhile, Mishap took her little GS swimming and then ordered some lunch. "I told him it was time to eat the paninis and he said, "I will eat my penis."" Cue other diners choking on their...sandwiches. And talking of, um, bits absent was babysitting a friend's small daughter and their next door neighbour's little son in the friend's house. "I ran their bath and told them both to use the loo. The little girl watched the boy with fascination and then said, "That's a handy little gadget."" Gally's middle daughter "once told my Mum that "Daddy's got a tail". She thought it was hilarious." While Penstemmon's DGD2 is "slightly deaf and has difficulty distinguishing B from V and so is convinced women have breasts, bulbas and baginas."

Which all sounds berry logical to us indeed.
In the news
Peaches Geldof post-mortem was "inconclusive" BBC | Join the discussion
Pakistani baby charged with attempted murder Guardian Join the discussion
Ofsted chief wants parent checklist Daily Mail | Join the discussion
Scientists claim £560m wasted on unproven flu drugs Independent 
Students "to repay loans into their 50s" Daily Mail

News forums
And finally...

Following last week's blog on bedding younger men... "Can't see it ever happening to me. For starters, how would I explain to a nice young man that I actually leave more of myself in the bathroom at night than gets into bed?" (KatyK)

Until next week, best wishes from 

Cari, Gigi, Kat, Lucy and Jane