A clean Home!!!

I think its a generation thing, It used to really upset me but I just let them get on with it now. Honest it is so untidy at times at one of the daughters that she wouldnt know if she was burgled. In fact any burgler would take one look and think someone had got there before him.

Helshea
Hear hear
My Mother-in-law used to visit and do the ironing - I loved her for it.
Otherwise I think that children have so many allergies these days because of all the cleanliness and cleaning products.
I blame the media and adverts which show super clean homes to make ordinary mortals feel inadequate.

Hello dorsetpennt
My daughter and son in law are also very untidy!!
They do have a cleaner who is lovely, she comes to us as well! (what a luxury) Their cleaner knows what she is going to each week and says that she loves it because she can see the difference she makes.
Every so often I go round just to blitz the place (normally the kitchen) I have bought the wonderful Lakeland oven cleaner (it only needed four attempts before it made a difference). They love it tidy, my SIL always says er has your mum been its lovely.
Like you I'm clean but I sew and knit and bake and I'm messy at all of them!
Your lovely family probably dont know where to start, a little help and then perhaps someone would take them on. If they were local to me, I would help you (we live in the North East) just to get them started (I dont do it as a job but I really enjoy getting things sorted!!
They will also find it easier to relax when things are a bit tidier. It wont ever be perfect and things will slip but nothing drastic.
Love and hugs

My mother once wondered aloud, when I was cleaning her sink, why it was that when your daughter does something like that, she is being helpful; when your mother does it (my grandmother was still alive back then), she is being interfering! I have often remembered that remark, and find it very true - and try not to interfere at my daughter's too much.

Mind you, she teased me ragged yesterday when she saw how we'd tidied up our front room for visitors!

My sister was pulled over for some minor driving incident and when the policeman say the state of the footwells of her car he read her the riot act said it was a fire hazard, she was really upset by it, she always had a tidy car from them on.

When my children were young, we had a break in and the police were convinced the burglars had thrown everything out of our cupboards all over the floors. In fact, that was how we'd left it.

I now live in a very tidy house. I am a reformed character.

To Glammanana - I did suggest that to my son and he agreed that it could look daunting to any potential cleaner. So when next I go up were are going to do a mini-spring clean and general tidy up. Will keep you posted.

I'm not a clean freak but I put my hand up to getting out the antispeptic spray and cloth when they leave me alone during a visit. In the kitchen and bathroom, Whichever I can get away with first.

They know it happens, I'm told there's no NEED to do it but I can see a need.

Plus i'm so glad that after many years they finally believe in bleach.

Is there any chance that they would consider doing a mini spring-clean
before they interviewed any possible cleaner,may be worth trying?
I know from experience that I used to tidy my home before my cleaner
came in (how sad is that) and she only came in to ease the pressure
after I had a really nasty operation,but I still made myself get up and
tidy around for some dopey reason.

to Glammanana - I do help when I go to visit and they are always delighted with my efforts. It isn't just the little one that stops my DIL from keeping a fairly clean house - she has always been like this, like her mother, so it's an inherited trait. I had young children, a husband who never helped out but my house may have been untidy but not filthy. I don't think anyone realises that it is truly dirty. They've interviewed a few cleaners who have turned them down. What can I say! It's their life not mine.

Cleaning a house with young children in it is like drying your hair in the rain!

My house is far from tidy so I am no one to speak but ...

If I had my time again I hope that I would have made more effort because I realised, too late, that children pick up their parents' habits. Perhaps you could tactfully 'mention in passing' to DS+DIL that they are setting up their DC to be messy too.

I agree with hilda about 'clutter blinkers' too. Sometimes you don't see it until you have an outsider's view. Take some photos of the GC, which just happen to include clutter, and see if the parents notice it then.

Your son and DIL are enjoying their little girl and looking forward to the new arrival and the last thing on their mind would be to keep the house
spick and span,plenty of time for that when children are bigger,if you
feel the urge to help the offer of "putting your feet up and take a rest"
would be welcome from you and offer to do any ironing etc whilst she takes a well deserved break.We can all do with a bit of spoiling
every now and then,I wish my MIL (or even my mother)helped with my
home and family when I was pregnant it would have been very
welcome but every one just visited drank tea and went home leaving
the tidying up to me ! but that was years ago

Dorsetpennt....of course one of the main problems is that people into clutter etc get clutter blind.....they just don't see what a visitor would see half the time. If, as you say, the children are happy and well cared for and its a happy home, you will have to develop a pair of clutter blinkers!

Thank you everyone for your messages and advice. All very sound. I'm not a 'neat freak' and I don't constantly clean my house. A little dirt is good too - but sometimes I do wonder how much is a little dirt or downright filfth. BUT it isn't my home, they don't expect me to step in and clean for them and they are wonderful parents. Their little daughter is well dressed, clean , happy, loved beyond measure - their next baby will be as well. So ladies I'm going to take your advice and mind my own and just don't let it worry me. [too much].

I know how you feel dorsetpennt because I am quite a tidy person, well as tidy as I can be with a dog and budgies (and a retired husband .
My daughter and her husband do make an effort when they have visitors but otherwise are to me, very untidy but it's their home! Just glad I don't live there permanently ;).
When I was in care work years ago, I was told that I would see all sorts of different lifestyles and I certainly did! What an eye opener! From the very rich to the very poor and different levels of cleanliness! In some cases none at all! However we were told that we were entering a persons home so it was not up to us to judge but just help as we could, which I did.

Funny though one elderly couple I helped regularly for a few years, suddenly their daughter decided she couldn't cope any more. Her parents were split up, the dad going to a home for those with senile dementia and the mother to a care home......talk about caring families I was livid but could do nothing! They could at least have homed them together couldn't they?

My Sil lives like pig. Her flat has a distinct cheesy feet smell. It's not pleasant. I don't enjoy visiting there but it's the smell that bothers rather than the mess and dirt.

I have a great many friends and they all have different standards but I don't care a jot as I know we are welcome. My house is fairly tidy but not as clean as I'd like some weeks but with 2 kids and a part time business I can't do everything I want to every week. And it's a thankless task!!

The worst house I ever visited was my minimalist aunt and uncle who made sharp breath noises and jumped every time my two under 4's touched anything. We ended up spending the rest of the visit in the garden. It was April and not a warm day
I vowed never to visit them at there home again so it's can be an issue at both ends of the spectrum in my opinion

"It doesn't seem to worry them so why does it worry me?" Exactly! perhaps that is the question you should be trying to find the answer to..... There child is coming to no harm, and I imagine they are loving parents, and will bring their children up well. I don't like to preach, but i thing they will have well adjusted children without any hang ups. All to often I speak to people who can't stop cleaning up, and just wish they didnt feel such a compulsion, they just want to have fun...

On the health side, it is actually not a good thing to have a perfectly clean house, for a start all the cleaning products used today are probably more harmful than a bit of dirt to young children. When a child is kept in a super clean home they are not exposed to all of the little bugs and bacteria that you find in a normal environment. There bodies never learn to defend themselves .

On a more straightforward note, it's not your house, no-one is coming to any harm, so don't judge.

When my children were babies, my mother in law used to come to babysit one night a week. She was a spotless tidy person and made me feel quite inadequate, I used to hide the ironing in the cupboard or she would do it for me. One day she opened the cupboard and it all fell out on her head..
I laugh about it now .. but was horrified at the time.. there is nothing worse than feeling like someone is judging your skills as a housewife and mother..

To be a little more serious for a moment, I firmly believe that, in terms of housekeeping, people are either tidy or untidy. Neither camp finds it easy understanding the opposition - let alone change their ways - and certainly, as someone whose former husband fell into the chronically untidy category, I now wish I hadn't wasted the time attempting the impossible.

There's also a huge difference between untidiness and actual downright filth of the sort seen on Life of Grime - where one of the key elements in the downward spiral was an inability to get rid of the sort of everyday rubbish that most of us put out for the dustmen. However, this is a form of illness, not mere untidiness.

From the sounds of it, your son and daughter-in-law are untidy by nature and unbothered by it and actually, a peck of dirt (as my grandmother was wont to say) won't hurt anyone including your granddaughter. So don't stress on their behalf and leave them to lead their lives as it suits them.

dosetpennt - of course you are bound to fret, however, your family seem perfectly happy with their living standards and, as it is their domain, it's best to leave them to sort out their priorities. My own dear Mother was a total house-proud freak. I loved visiting friends who lived messily...

Me too twizzle.

I wish someone would invent a self-cleaning toilet.

If they are happy let them be, everyone is different.

Oven is one supposed to clean it, thought it was self cleaning the way the freezer is self defrosting

Pandemonia - I have always assumed that all ovens are self-cleaning !!!
Well, that's my excuse.

Blimey? Is one expected to clean the oven then? Like regularly?