Gransnet forums


was the mother in law in the news recently being unreasonable by sending THAT email?

(15 Posts)
helshea Sun 03-Jul-11 20:50:20

Maybe this has already been mentioned in another part of the forum, but if not, what do other gransnetters think about the mother in law writing such an awful email to her future daughter in law?

Nannyliz Sun 03-Jul-11 21:12:42

I think she was extremely unwise. No matter what she thinks about this girl's manners/behaviour this is her son's future wife and it can only alienate her son and future daughter in law. It can be a difficult path to tread with DiL's as it is without alienating her before they're even married.

I do think it was wrong of the DiL to circulate the email though.

hellypelly Sun 03-Jul-11 21:14:05

I wonder if the DIL was really provoking or whether the MIL provoked her into being rude? The later part of the email is quite bad. I should think someone would have to be very sure of their ground to send an email like that. What if the son found out? Can it be real?

helshea Sun 03-Jul-11 21:35:51

Yes but did she really circulate it? I think it was more a case of sending it to a few friends to see what they thought.. which sounds pretty reasonable to me.
If i were the girlfriend I would seriously think twice about marrying the son of such a woman. Years of trouble ahead!

Nannyliz Sun 03-Jul-11 21:58:39

Exactly my thoughts, helshea. I think she would be the Mother in Law from hell!

absentgrana Mon 04-Jul-11 12:03:56

If the fiancée behaved as badly as described in the e-mail, her manners clearly do leave something to be desired. However, the worst possible – and completely unforgivable – act of bad manners that anyone can commit is to comment to someone else on how bad their manners are. Doing it by e-mail adds insult to injury.

grannymags Mon 04-Jul-11 12:07:18

Ive not seen the email can anyone enlighten me please

glammanana Mon 04-Jul-11 12:14:11

grannymags if you log on to one of the newspaper sites you will be able to see the full story and the e-mail comments made,I don't think the future
MIL has any grounds to comment the boy is not her son,that poor girl sounds as though she is going to have a rough time with the woman

Notsogrand Mon 04-Jul-11 12:39:54

There are stories in the press today to suggest that this whole thing was a publicity stunt. It's reported that the groom to be has launched his own wedding planning business and sought publicity. Regardless, if I was the bride to be I'd run like mad in the opposite direction.

supernana Mon 04-Jul-11 12:40:59

Future daughter-in-law possibly immature-rude or unintentionally thoughtless. Stepmother outrageously rude and utterly over-the-top thoughtless. Blood-mother of son seems altogether more down to earth, approachable and sensible. No prizes for guessing which of the two will enjoy a good relationship from hereon.
'Tact comes as much from goodness of heart as from fineness of taste.' [Epymion]

nannan Sun 17-Jul-11 00:31:11

I think the mother in law was completely wrong. She has not done herself any favours. I know this as my mil hated me from day one, and 40years on still trys to cause trouble between my husband and me almost trying to make him choose. the result has been that he does'nt visit her as much as he should. I have learnt from her , and I am delighted to say I have a great relationship with both my son in law ,and my daughter in law.

Baggy Sun 17-Jul-11 06:33:00

Has anyone heard any rumours that it was the step-son who sent the email using his step-mother's account, for the "publicity purposes" that notso mentions. Seems the 'lad' has fallen out with his father as well.

goldengirl Sun 17-Jul-11 16:20:11

How on earth did it get in the Press? It's a salutary reminder for us all that we must be careful what we print! I think it should have been a quiet aside rather than an email - if she did send it at all. It's made me feel guilty as I stayed at my s-i-l's and stayed in bed until 9. DH's family are all early risers and I am usually but I was shattered. I think it gave brother and sister a chance to have a natter without me putting in my two penn'orth. I've never felt that s-i-l minded though; we get on very well.

seraphicDigitalis Sun 17-Jul-11 20:36:02

It's not something that I'd do myself, but if the dil really behaved as the email implies, then something should certainly be said. Thank goodness this never happened to me, but I hope I'd have spoken quietly to the stepson and suggested that he have a word with the maiden(?) in question, pointing out how she could please me better. My mother always used to say, "Get on with his mother, then all will be well." I didn't, but that's another story.


Stansgran Mon 18-Jul-11 19:15:54

Just a thought -when something really upset me I would write a letter to that person. I never sent it but got it out of my system as it were. maybe the future mil did that but on her computer -people dont seem to have access to pen and ink these days and pressed the send button not the delete. Just trying to support mils in general