Gransnet forums

AIBU

Cut out of their lives

(1201 Posts)
Nanban Mon 01-Aug-11 13:54:48

I would like a day ….

I would like a day when waking up isn’t realizing it’s another day I haven’t talked to my son.

I would like a day not waking up to tears.

I would like a day when I’m not missing Harry doing something new.

I would like a purely happy day.

I would like a day when we don’t wonder when it will all end.

I would like a day when we don’t wonder how it will all end.

I would like a day looking forward to seeing my boy, touching him.

I would like a day when his wife calls for a chat.

I would like a day when we share time with Harry in our home.

I would like a day just like every other grandmother.

I would like a day when I don’t miss my son.

I would like a day looking forward to tomorrow.

I would like a day that doesn’t end in tears.

I would like any day but today.

Nanban Sun 02-Sept-12 11:24:20

Angiebaby - welcome and thank you so much for your story - sadly, grandparents have no legal rights. There are supposedly all sorts of mediation routes and it is possible to finally get to court for a hearing, but if the son/daughter refuse or simply don't turn up that's the end of it. Nowhere does it say that grandchildren should have the right to know their grandparents. If only it did, and was enforceable it would be a line of communication, and a foundation for building relationships instead of a big black hole.

Crimson - I am so sorry and hope that maybe by now you'll have heard something. Oh so easy to say don't give up, very hard to keep going.

whenim64 Sat 01-Sept-12 21:42:28

Welcome back crimson. Don't give up, will you? Families are strange groupings at times and it only needs one person to upset the way everyone relates to each other. There are a few grans having some hard-won results, so let's hope it's soon going to be your turn flowers

annodomini Sat 01-Sept-12 21:39:13

crimson sad flowers

crimson Sat 01-Sept-12 21:29:50

Have returned from holiday and there is no reply to my email; my one hope is that I have returned home a day earlier than planned but still feel numb.

whenim64 Sat 01-Sept-12 19:16:12

Fabulous SJP. I can just imagine what a great time you had together. We really are racking up some successes on here. flowers

Greatnan Sat 01-Sept-12 18:22:29

That must have been lovely - I am always so glad to hear from those of you who have managed to establish some contact.

SJP Sat 01-Sept-12 18:20:02

So happy for you Chadsky flowers. Pleased to tell you all that I spent a lovely 2 hours on the beach with my lovely little grandson yesterday. He is so bonny and happy - great day. No contact with son who has withdrawn completely. So glad I got social services onside and hopefully regular contact will continue. Just don't give up

nightowl Thu 30-Aug-12 12:23:24

Congratulations chadsky, you have taken on the system and won - not easy! I wish you a very happy future flowers

harrigran Thu 30-Aug-12 12:05:52

chadsky such wonderful news. I wish you every happiness smile

Maniac Thu 30-Aug-12 11:17:07

Greatnan you are so right.Grandparents in UK have NO legal rights to see their grandchildren.There is a lot of talk but no prospect of change in the law at present.
Grans have the right to apply to courts for contact but it can cost thousands,be very long-winded,make matters worse with no guarantee of success if mother is still uncooperative.

Greatnan Thu 30-Aug-12 09:42:10

angiebaby - I believe that grandparents have no automatic legal rights of access or visitation, although a court can make an order in the interests of the child. Has the law changed recently?

whenim64 Thu 30-Aug-12 09:32:08

chadsky you give grandmothers a good name! Your grandaughter has a happy future ahead now, thanks to your persistence in the face of so much bureaucracy. flowers

Faye Thu 30-Aug-12 08:49:03

chadsky how wonderful. Your story was so sad, I am really happy for you and your granddaughter. ((((hugs))) flowers

angiebaby Great to hear your grandchildren are in your life now. flowers

angiebaby Wed 29-Aug-12 19:41:22

thanks marelli,,,,,,,,,thanks jessm.........im new..so pleased i have joined the group....you as you read,,,relise that you are not alone........we should all meet up one day and share our problems ...a problem shared is a problem halved so they say,,,,,,when you say your prayers girls ask god for a nice surprise this week and see what happens. when my children shut me out of there lives i prayed and prayed i was so depressed never thought they would ever treat me the way they did..........i prayed for god to bring them back into my life...........as i said i am now blessed to have them all around me.

angiebaby Wed 29-Aug-12 19:33:01

do you all know that grandparents have legal rights in law to see their grandchildren. if i didnt see my grandkids i would take my children to court and take the nessasary action....although it would be very stressfull...it would make the children certainly sit up and think,

JessM Wed 29-Aug-12 19:30:32

chadsky - what fantastic news. Well done for persisting in the face of such awful bureacratic barriers.
angiebaby nice post. Good to hear from you.

Marelli Wed 29-Aug-12 19:16:07

angiebaby, flowers

angiebaby Wed 29-Aug-12 19:10:44

nanban and anyone who do not see their children or grandkids,,,,,,dont give up..my children shut me out of their lives heavens knows why,,,but when they were in trouble and were unhappy in their marriages ,,,where did they come,,,back to mum......i was so lonely and depressed. i did get a text message from one of them im pregnant,,,,thats all i got,,,the other one,,,i have a girl, i saw that little child once when i made myself go to the hospital and the mother n law was there first,,,my heart broke, i wasnt aloud to hold the baby so i made an exscuse to leave....i saw her 2 years later my prayers were answered,,,,they moved into the same village as i lived only they didnt have partners,,,,,,now i look after my grandkids most of the time,,,,they love their nanna....but i missed their baby years...but i have been blessed, i have them now.the only time i gt to spoil them is when their mothers are not with them,,,,god works in strange ways..and you cant have it all they say,,,,,,,so dont give up all you nans and grans,,,,,,they will come back and remember when they are older they can make up their own minds.

soop Mon 27-Aug-12 17:55:12

chadsky I couldn't be happier for you. Very well done. You've been through a terribly difficult time. You've remained focused. Now it's time to enjoy the reward of a satisfactory outcome. I wish you and your GD all the happiness that you richly deserve. flowers

Nanban Sun 26-Aug-12 20:41:37

Chadsky - brilliant news for you all, and all because you never gave up.

Maniac Sun 26-Aug-12 11:50:02

Great news chadsky.Love and hugs to you and your GD.

Marelli Sat 25-Aug-12 22:30:32

chadsky, that's wonderful! It's been a long, hard slog, but you've all got there. flowers

Greatnan Sat 25-Aug-12 22:30:04

That is really good news - many congratulations.

annodomini Sat 25-Aug-12 22:25:13

I am so happy for you, chadsky. Now your GD can have a secure and settled life with people who really love her and who are part of her life in every way. You must still be feeling very exhausted by the whole process, but now just relax and enjoy being her gran again. ((((hugs))))

jeni Sat 25-Aug-12 22:24:56

Oh! Heartiest congratulations!flowers may the road rise up to meet you, and may the wind be ever at your back!

This discussion thread has reached a 1200 message limit, and so cannot accept new messages.
Start a new discussion