Ok - as has been established 2 GDs with S+DiL... And D only just last week announced expecting 1st baby.
Lovely - really happy for her and her husband.
Myself and the Doting Grandma have always been hands off, what the S and DiL want for their children is up for them. Never ever say a word unless asked.
Here’s the thing.
S and DiL seem to be taking the attitude that they are MORE than “the Uncle and Aunt to be”.
Ever since they had their first child they have been nagging our D “ when are you going to have baby... why haven’t you? ... you ought to get on with it”
We have always taken the attitude “if they want to -in their own time”
We happen to know from the D that ( in the style of the great Len Goodman) “my brother is really getting on my wick about babies”.
Our D gave us the news and then the next three hours were taken up with “what are you going to...” “you should do this and that”, “not do this or that”, “ I have a book I will give you”, “when is the...” et cetera et cetera... A nonstop torrent.
They seem to think themselves the “co-parents” of our D’s baby.
S and DiL have very fixed ideas that there is a wrong and right way to do things – not helped by the fact that DiL was a midwife/health visitor -and a trendy one too.
Totally on message with the latest current theories, able to quote this and that research verbatim, a mum to be who loved arguing with her obstetricians and midwives that they were not “doing things right”.
To hear her sometimes you would wonder why there are nearly 9 billion humans on this planet –as no woman could ever have given birth before the latest advice from the “Royal College of Telling Mums How To Have Babies”.
Already the campaign for our D to have a home water birth ( “just like us - we can lend you our pool”) has started!
More to it as well, we know that our S was madly hoping that his second child would be a boy and instead got a second girl ( DiL has emphatically stated “that’s the lot”).
Should our daughter have a boy OMG the possessive interest/envy will be huge...
D and SiL are mature intelligent people .
SiL has the experience of a baby sister being born when he was 16.
D has a big circle of school and university friends and all of them (she is the last of the group) have had children, she can draw on a lot of different experiences ( some good -some bad 2 of her girlfriends had difficult births and nearly died, Post natal depression, there has been an IVF mother, a miscarriage etc etc).
D and SiL don’t need telling what to do.
At some point I fear either myself or the doting Grandma will have to say “back off” and that won’t be fun.
dontcallmegramps Tue 25-Oct-11 15:57:20
HildaW Tue 25-Oct-11 16:12:51
Jeany Tue 25-Oct-11 16:21:01
Elegran Tue 25-Oct-11 16:26:57
HildaW Tue 25-Oct-11 16:33:47
dontcallmegramps Tue 25-Oct-11 16:36:33
HildaW Tue 25-Oct-11 16:40:52
gracesmum Tue 25-Oct-11 16:55:10