I think I worry too much about my family, but don't know how to stop.

Great news for your son, FlicketyB ! Something to celebrate over Christmas. And, em , your son will be a better teacher for having had a taste of the 'real' world. As a school governor, I interviewed a great many applicants for subjects right across the curriculum and often found that late entrants to the profession had a great deal to offer. Having said that, some members of the existing teaching staff could be suspicious of them - I don't know why. Perhaps they felt threatened in some obscure way.
There may be a shortage of teachers in some subjects like Maths and technology, but my neighbour's daughter graduated in the summer with a good degree as a primary school teacher and is still having to rely on supply work.

FlicketyB that's really good news for your son. It will have boosted his confidence no end, and settled your mind. Good luck to your son as well, Em. As Seventimesfive says, he'll be more in tune with what life's about than a lot of them, and will be appreciated for that.

Em Best wishes to your son! My eldest daughter finally found her way into teaching in her 40's after a long struggle with lack of confidence and qualifications. She took a job as a teaching assistant while doing an OU degree and then a teaching qualification and is now teaching English and loving it. We all knew from the age of 10 when she used to teach her long suffering brothers and sisters that she should be a teacher and now she's finally made it! I'm sure your son will do too. Very often schools prefer those with some life experience rather those who go straight from school to university and back to school.

Pleased to hear about your son, Flickety - what a weight off your mind. I need to keep my fingers crossed for the next 5 years! My son (25) has now made up his mind to go back to uni and plans to go into teaching. Graduation seems a long way off and as things are, I can't just assume that there will be a job for him. It's so good to hear the success stories when it's all doom and gloom in the media. Sounds as if he well deserves it and I wish him well.

I'm glad for you and your son too, flickety. I think the current tendency for there to be a competitive scramble for funding for academic work is causing untold damage both within academia and outside it. I think it affects us all indirectly and it must be particularly bad for those directly affected.

FlicketyB that's good news. So many young people either have no job or have no job security that it must be very difficult for them to plan for the future. I'm glad that your son and you no longer have that worry.

Last week my DS's job was made permanent. He is a university lecturer and like most young academics he has been on rolling 2 year contracts, in his case for about 6 years. Last summer because of the changes in university funding his contract was only extended for one year and he was very worried what would happen next June. Then two weeks ago he was told, out of the blue, that his job was being made permanent and it happened last week.

I have got used to his working on contract, he has never really had a permanent post before so I did not really realise how worrying I found it. When he rang me and told me he was permanent a little tight ball of tension in my stomach which I had never realised was there unravelled and I felt quite light headed with relief.

Yes Ga we do tend to keep each other "up" as much as possible.
Thank you all.

nanachrissy hope all goes well for your son with his DVLA test. As your say he isn't a moaner it sounds as if he's well-practised in being positive himself - a trait inherited from his mum perhaps?

Hugs from me too nanachrissy

I'm so sorry to hear that. Keep us informed please. Big hug...

Regarding my earlier posts about my ds eyes, one of the implants has caused a bleed in his good eye, which is clouding his vision. His specialist says that if it doesn't clear in the next couple of weeks, he will need another operation. In the meantime,his DVLA test is next week. If he can't pass it he will lose his licence.

Trying to be positive for him, but it's so hard.

Oh Butternut! how kind! (It was on the thread about 'feeling positive)! I really do NOT want to go to the dentist...I know it's going to be horrible, but I also know that if I don't go, my ancient bridge will come tumbling out and I'll look like a right one with a big space in the front of my mouth (horrors!) By this time tomorrow night, I shall be sitting supping saps (I won't even be able to say that, will I!) I shall also have beautiful new gnashers.....3 of them...on a plate! (I'll look like that, too!)

My husband's motto is -'Worry at , not about ' After 50 +yrs of marriage to him I still can't stop worrying !!

gm - I'm on the wrong thread, unfortunately, but can't find (can't remember) where you were when mentioning your visit to the dentist tomorrow.........but I wanted to wish you 'all the best'! x

Annobel and grrrranny, thank you for that information. I'll pass it on to my son.

Yes you had a ribbon in my mental picture - mine was usually tartan! And Annobel has posted the exact links I would have regarding info for your son - good luck with that.

No, he doesn't have to be unemployed to claim housing benefit and council tax benefit. He could phone the Shelter helpline: 0808 800 4444 for expert advice on this.
Or go to this web site:

www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/your_money/benefits/help_with_your_rent_-_housing_benefit.htm#who_can_get_housing_benefit

grrrranny - you've got it in one!! That was me, all right! With a hair ribbon as well! I think the keeping busy thing (no, not dusting...!) doing something constructive is useful in distracting the mind away from negative thoughts/worries. My main 'worry' just now is that my son cannot pay his rent because of shortage of work and low wages when he's in work. To apply for housing benefit, you have to be unemployed, and this isn't the case. Has anyone got any information on how to deal with this? I've tried to find out online, but because he doesn't work set days/hours, it isn't easy to figure out.
(Oh and no, I never did manage 2 roller skates at once!)

It's the basic family dynamic – our children stop being children when they grow up but we never stop being their mothers. What is truly strange is when a mother becomes so old and frail that her daughter becomes the maternal figure – a complete reversal of the usual family dynamics. I found this situation very strange but my late mother seemed to relax into the pattern quite happily.

I do worry about my daughter and her family from time to time, usually when there is genuine cause for concern. When her first daughter was born incredibly prematurely by emergency C-section and was in an intensive neonatal unit for weeks, I fretted dreadfully because I couldn't be there, as if my presence would have made much difference. (Maybe a bit of practical and moral support but that's all.) Otherwise, I think I am just interested and loving and I'm quite sure I don't faff. I'll have to ask her if she sees me in that light or whether she really thinks I'm just an old worryguts.

greenmossgiel- I have just read your post about the one rollerskate at a time which is both funny - I have a picture in my head of you in a dress with full skirt, white ankle socks and Clarks' sandals scooting along on one rollerskate - but also very sad.
.
I sometimes wonder if worry about children or partners is not bound up with the 'what about me' thing. Not just how horrible for them but horrible for me - I would be devastated, how would I cope? But I do think the constant worry can be helped as you have demonstrated by not sending text and waiting for one to come - which did. I may seem like only a little thing but really it is a big step and now you have done it once it will be easier next time and so on. I also know that I will worry away at things incessantly if I don't have enough to do (and I don't count dusting in that which is always there). I can't always have excitng and absorbing things to do but have to make a big effort to at least be planning something or working towards something. I wish I could embrace the buddhist thing of being in the moment but can't often achieve that.

Anyway, I am still very impressed that you managed not to text.

And I have to ask - have you rollerskated with two skates?

Apologies for not having mastered bold or smileys yet.

Nanachrissy that is great news, you must feel relieved!

Very happy for you and your son, nanachrissy.

Great news nanachrissy