Gransnet forums


upsetting letter fROM mp

(19 Posts)
celebgran Tue 08-Jan-13 14:31:25

I have been extremely upset today our local mp had written to Suffolk Police reference our harassment warning given to us by our son in law.

The response did not cover what we wanted to know and we asked to see our mp again this week.

I have just received a letter which had me in tears, it was so rude and nasty, saying he did not want to be drawn into a family matter, and wanted to spell it out that he would not be browbeaten into getting further involved.
it was dated 20th Dec.
I hope he enjoyed his Xmas writing such very unkind letters.
have rung his house of commons office to tell them so!
am considering going to the paper also, after all he could have just politely said he did not feel he could do anymore in fact admit he was not prepared to help us more without making me feel so very low and upset.

petra Tue 08-Jan-13 14:49:16

Name and shame,celebgran. Local paper, local radio. From what I have read you have nothing to loose. Bring it out in the open. You never know, something might come of it with your Daughter.

Barrow Tue 08-Jan-13 15:37:55

I agree, name and shame. He is there to represent you, even if there was nothing further he could do there is no reason for him to be rude. You could start by naming him on GN

Ana Tue 08-Jan-13 15:41:36

I'd be a bit careful how you play this, celebgran. There is no excuse for the MP's rudeness and you have every right to complain directly to him, but if you did go to the papers are you sure your daughter and SIL would not use it against you...?

celebgran Tue 08-Jan-13 16:26:33

THATS easy done on g net DOUGLAS CARSWELL!!

Not sure if things could be any worse Ana,
we put our trust in him and were due to see him this Friday, but the letter we got today told us in very rude terms he wanted no further involvement!!


Nelliemoser Tue 08-Jan-13 16:33:14

I am sure an MP cannot get involved in family disputes but he should have been able to explain that in a polite and sympathetic manner. What a rude man he seems to be.
The M.P. can only do his best to ensure that government run agencies etc do their jobs properly. If you are concerned that the police did not handle it properly is there not a way or organisation to help you discuss this directly with the police? The local police complaints commision CAB or such might be a much better bet, and know more about the subject than an MP?

JessM Tue 08-Jan-13 17:16:18

Oh yes we have new POLICE COMMISSIONERS now. Go for it. Nick Alston.
Probably a tory part crony of Douglas-the-chin-Carswell (look at the photo on wikipedia!) but no harm done. Whereas I agree, going to the press may have unforseen consequences that you cannot control.

The irony is that MPs stick their noses into to all kind of inappropriate areas when they choose to. I was working as a temp in an HR dept and I had to deal with an MPs letter that related to a disciplinary thing an employee had going on. Asking to be kept informed. In a private company. hmm None of his biz I would say.

Actually the text of these letters is often written by "interns" and the like who are of tender years. So he might not have actually seen the letter.
You could complain to the Chair of the local Tory party maybe. They would not be happy about him peeing off voters.

Smoluski Tue 08-Jan-13 17:25:11

If you named and shamed just a thought why we didn't draw attention to our own situation was as a family we would be highlighted and children would be identifiable in the community they live in even if their names where not in the paper,wish you luck as child issues are a civil matter and a minefield,police are also not normally involved unless a criminal offence arises from a civil situation,a good family lawyer may be more benefit to youxxxxxxlove nellie

Mishap Tue 08-Jan-13 17:53:25

It is understandable that MPs cannot get involved in family disputes - but they can and should explain that politely and kindly. What a shame that he has not done this.

I would guess that you have quite enough on your plate without getting involved in a dispute with the MP. I should bin the letter and move on.

celebgran Tue 08-Jan-13 18:35:51

Mishap our MP WAS not asked to intervent in private family matters only question the police involvement.

We would not have dreamt of asking him to get involved with our daughter and ourselves, but we did feel as our elected MP HE could at least find out why we have this harassment warning hanging over us. Or even why we got it.

IPCC is complete waste of time we have been down that road, they say in their brochure unless you die in custody or have racist complaint there is very little outcome.

We went round in circles and go nowhere, were visitted in first place by police trouble shooter who apologised that they got involved in first place and said the WPC Would be disciplined who advised our son in law.
He wanted us to agree to take it not further and we foolishly did.

Subsequent complaints to IPCC When we had more problems were waste of time.

NfkDumpling Tue 08-Jan-13 19:00:01

Surely if the police trouble shooter wanted you to not take it further he should have got the warning officially removed?

(Not surprised at your MP's attitude - Suffolk and Norfolk have been safely Tory for so long it's given them a Lord of the Manor attitude.)

Smoluski Tue 08-Jan-13 19:08:02

I also celeb and omitted to say that your MP needs a lesson in manners and that he is there to serve his constituents wether he can do so or not with as much good grace and courtesy as possible,similar situation with Angela Smith who was our local MP when in Essex,very churlishly pointed out that she could not intervene in a situation that involved social service decisions,social services of course where self can guess I didn't get anywherexxxxxxlove nellie.

vampirequeen Tue 08-Jan-13 19:39:12

I think you should write to him saying that you think one of his team has written to you and you're drawing it to his attention as you couldn't possibly imagine a man of his tact and experience writing such an inappropriately worded letter and are worried that other's may not realise and think that he is being intentionally rude when, of course, you're sure that was not the case.

Sarcastic but in a way that he can't argue with just in case you're seriously worried about his good name. I'm a devious piece of work wink

annodomini Tue 08-Jan-13 20:27:19

I looked up your MP on Wiki and it seems that he was a moving spirit behind a proposal that MPs who displeased their constituents should be 'recalled', whatever that might mean. Nor was he free of guilt in the expenses scandal.

JessM Tue 08-Jan-13 20:51:27

I do wonder whether the police trouble shooter behaved properly. I think vampire made a good suggestion. Copy it to the constituency party chair. Enclose copies of your letter and reply. Let us know how you get on.

Deedaa Tue 08-Jan-13 20:53:21

I've really had it with MP's. I started emailing ours about the closure of our maternity unit and received such a patronising and paternalistic answer that I couldn't trust myself to reply and gave up in disgust. Last time I voted for the nice little man from the Green Party because he said he just wanted to spend his retirement making a difference. I wouldn't give most of them houseroom! angry

Nanado Tue 08-Jan-13 20:59:45

I think vampire's suggestion has merit. I'd also add that you wonder if perhaps he (your MP) thinks the matter should be referred to your Police Commissioner.

celebgran Tue 08-Jan-13 21:31:30

bless you all, thanks Nellie, I can guess that is just how it has gone with our mp in the first instance he said he could not get involved but for some reason he agree to write to the chief constable after we saw him.

he replied on Twitter to say he would be contacting me again = O responded by saying he had made it clear he did not want to help and i could do withou another upsetting letter!

didnot sleep well and as ashamed to say it did have me in floods of tears.

celebgran Tue 08-Jan-13 21:32:31

sorry thanks to all of you for your support, I do agree do feel Douglas has a lord of the manor kind of way with him!!!