Is '30' the new '21'?

My girlfriend, two years before becoming my wife made my 21st Special. Since then I have steered away from celebrating my birthdays prefering to concentrate on my partners birthdays instead.
Sadly the 50th birthday surprise I had in store for my recent ex, a trip to Rome, is not to be so perhaps I will concentrate my efforts on childrens and grandchildrens milestones unless of course miracles do happen but at 64 I will not be holding my breath. Seeing grandaughters little faces light up are priceless moments so I lookforward to them.
I do notice that 30, 40 and 50 appear to be celebrated far more frequently in this day and age, perhaps it is marketing pressure similar to all the other numerous days that seem to be constantly advertised and yes I do believe that 30 is the new 21 however I never did agree with the 18th.

We love parties! The 0s give us a good excuse. We have had a barn dance, a Strictly Come Dancing party with instructor to teach everyone a routine, a picnic at a farm followed by a trip in an Edwardian steam launch, a trip on the Kingswear Castle paddle steamer with buffet lunch, a tour of a stately home with lunch in the tea room, a Golden wedding with service in the church, buffet lunch and a trip along the Oxford canal in 4 narrow boats with streamers and golden balloons. All for between 25 and 50 people. The latest was an Easter themed party for dgs 18th with buffet lunch, cake in the shape of an ice hockey helmet, book of photos, 18 'silly' presents for him to unwrap, presentation on screen with music and pictures of his life so far, and an EasterEgg lucky dip. Our Christmas parties are legendary!

It's certainly a trend now to celebrate those milestone birthdays.

I do think that there are an awful lot of people expecting to celebrate 18,21 and every big 0 these days. If the birthday person wants to do it I'd say go ahead. You've only one life...celebrate. Our family have had several milestone birthdays over the past few years, some of them have shuddered and let it pass them by. Others have fully embraced it and really pushed the boat out with big parties which have been great fun and a lovely way to get friends and family together. Some of them spread their celebrations between drinks with friends, lunch with family, spa day and afternoon tea with girlfriends

As for a 'special' present, we've always tried to make it special to the person it's for and not necessarily expensive. eg A photobook of their life, a home made and decorated cake, a painting, a collage of photos, a plant that they wouldn't have treated themselves to, a spa treat and a falconry day purchased from one of the discount activity websites (Travelzoo - but other websites are available!)

frida Whatever happens I hope your daughter enjoys her thirtieth

I shared my 65th with my aunt who was 90 2 days later.

I was doing exams on both by 18th and 21st birthdays.
I was in hospital on both my 30th and 40th.

Frank

Hmm..no parties for me at 18 (not apt then) but at 21 I had the top tier of my wedding cake as my b'day cake and was given sewing machine. It was a small family gathering. Not the sort of thing that happens now!
30 passed me by in a whirl of working mum chaos I think!
For my 40th I had a big do! DH and I had gone through a difficult time and it was a celebration of our future together. I shared my 50th with my DD1 who was 25 a few days before my b'day..we had a joint party in a pub in Putney! My 60th was a celebration at home with friends and family and then the close family spent a weekend of fun at Centerparcs. Similar celebrations for DH too but three years earlier in each case! He just had a 65 in Jan. but we did not do anything special.. just a lunch out with close friends and family came for b'day cake!

My DDs tend to go away for significant b'days. Youngest is 35 in a week or so & have just helped her partner to book a surprise couple of nights away (for the kids too!) to visit Cadbury World & stay in a nice hotel. I will book her a spa treatment too which she can enjoy whilst dad takes care of girls!

I agree that 'youngsters' these days seem to think that they can have 18, 21 and then 'the big three-oh'. My own observation is that they generally aren't ready to be an adult until they reach 30.

My children think that EVERY decade should be a big big celebration! It's crazy. 18 or 21 yes but why oh why 30, 40 etc.

Both of mine had a fuss made of them on their 30th, I really didn't see anything to celebrate.
I left home the evening before my 18th and my birthday was the first day as a pre PTS nurse, I was on the ward ten minutes when I was told to perform last offices with a more senior nurse.
Other birthdays past without recognition until I reached 50 and DH took me to the south of France for a long weekend. For my 60th he took my entire family to a hotel in the Lakes for a weekend but it was cup final day and the men tootled off to watch the match.
I ignored my 65th other than a lunch out.

My twin daughters had a massive bash for their 30th, which was in September. One was pregnant with her twins, due the following January, and she was feeling awful, couldn't drink alcohol and just wanted to go home and get in bed. Her thoughtful friends brought her lovely pampering presents, and made encouraging comments about her being able to enjoy Christmas before her babies arrived. 4 weeks later, she had her premature babies!

My 30th felt like doom descending on me - I dreaded it. Can't think why now? My 40th was spent avoiding my husband who I had decided to divorce, no celebration then. My 50th was a meal out with the family.

The best one was my 60th - I thought I was going out for a meal and walked into my daughter's house to be greeted by a surprise party of all my family and friends.

I got a greenhouse for my 40th.
DH assisted by DS spent the entire day assembling it and moaning and complaining

25th was the worst. I'd recently arrived in Kenya, had a bad dose of German Measles and nobody wanted to come too near me. I heard some Scottish Dance music on the radio and had a severe attack of home-sickness and indulged in a session of tears and 'poor me'.

I thought 30 was the most depressing age, too old to pretend to be a teenager any more. 50 wasn't great either - at least now I've reached Wow! I'm still here! age now
I did have a nice birthday lunch on my 65th and my daughter decorated my cake to look like my kitten.

Going off topic a bit but the heading reminded me of my DD around this age.
She was still living at home and the boyfriend who stayed with us a lot had brought a very nice bed to their relationship.
When they split up he took the bed. I remember this so clearly: she stood there, in the lounge and said " so what do I do Mum" so I said " well you go down to the bed shop. " where is the bed shop" she said.
I pointed out to her that she passed one every day on her way to the Station.

Not big on birthdays. There are only two that I remember. My 21st was spent sailing to Ostend. My 60th was spent in Hospital in Shanghai with food poisoning to die for.
When the nurse was taking my details and asked for my DOB she realised the date and all the nurses were so nice to me.

I have not done much better than you absent 18 was not a thing back then. 21st - I already had a child and on my birthday I started my degree finals. 30 don't remember. 40 i was on a motor bike holiday in france and had a strawberry cake (but no cards or pressies). 50 I had a delayed joint party with DH who was 40 that year so we had a joint 90th bbq. But I think on my birthday I was away working in the states. 60 passed with a sigh of relief that I had got there and was no longer nearly 60.

My 60th was amazing.
Everyone except me knew that DH and DD2 had arranged a party for me.
I walked into the house to find it full of my family and friends and eventually saw my son who had flown in that morning, unbeknown to me, from the States.
I hadn't seen him for nearly a year and burst into floods of tears

I have not been successful with celebrating any of the "landmark" birthdays. Eighteen became the age of adulthood once I had passed it and I spent my twenty-first in hospital and celebrated by being allowed 25 ml – that's 5 teaspoons – of water a day. The doctors, nurses and care staff got very merry on the Champagne that my parents brought in and the hospital kitchen made a very pretty cake that I wasn't allowed to eat. I threw a party for my thirtieth and the evening before – with the fridge bulging with treats from smoked salmon and asparagus to Champagne and an extraordinarily expensive Sauternes – my husband came home from work to tell me that he had been made redundant. A week before my fortieth – when I was planning a party that would make I Claudius look like Beatrix Potter – I fell over, pulling my husband, who was holding may hand at the time, over too on top of my right leg. The fall broke both bones in my lower leg and it looked like it belonged to an elephant. The party went ahead but I had to go up and downstairs on my bottom – not massively dignified. I should probably draw a veil over my fiftieth. A speedy lunchtime drink turned out to be a major session with more and more friends arriving and each lining up a glass of wine for me. As a result, I fell asleep about four o'clock and completely missed the planned festivities. Sixty – I was just too busy and nothing special happened until two months later when absentdaughter, son-in-law and two absentgrandchildren arrived for a three-week holiday and a delayed celebration. I am not looking forward to 70.

Think ill ignore my 70th next year! Unless we could have a GN party for it?

gracesmum Same here with the 30s decade! My DS was still a baby I really enjoyed it.

We have never as a family been big on birthday parties for grown ups though.

I near typed "adult parties" there but thought that sounded a bit risque.

I have never been to one of them either. Before anyone asks.

The extent to which some people celebrate another decade sometimes leaves me astounded. All this fuss is the product of a few decades of affluence isn't it. Parties cost money. I do notice though that parties involving very late night fireworks have dropped right off in the last few years. They were presumably adult parties for birthdays, anniversaries etc. Sign of recession maybe.

I made my 50th an excuse for a big party. Since my divorce, I hadn't been giving dinner parties any more, so I killed all my birds with one stone. I asked for 'no presents', but I seem to remember that a lot of people brought bottles of wine . The DSs helped with the catering and ordered a rather fancy cake which I hadn't expected! For my 70th, they and their partners organised a great bash involving relatives, in-laws and friends from various stages of my life. GCs had a good time as DS1 had arranged for a magician to entertain us. I think we shall just pass quietly over my 80th - not for a while yet! Now, 100 - well, just let's wait and see...

I was trying to remember my 30th (poor old dear, memory loss) the other day and came to theconclusion that it was no big deal and in any case I think I had just had a baby the year before so was much to busy with a toddler and a baby to do much beyond get a couple of birthday cards! Mind you, I lovedmy 30's - I felt it was the decade where you could approach most things with a level of confidence, you were "grown up" but still young enough to enjoy it all! We young Mums had the best times ever - coffee at one house, lunch at another, children to "play" and tea at another and then when DH came home we would complain about how frazzled we were with our young children. Life was never so good again! We formed a baby sitting circle as none of us had useful Grannies within helping/babysitting distance and we would all go off to Wimbledon Common on Sundays for picnics and the Dads would play rounders with the older children while we fed the babies etc. Happy Days!

You're right LullyDully, every birthday that ends with a 0 is special now apparently.

I haven't had a party in my entire life. I was a single parent at 18 and a party was not appropriate (anyway I wouldn't have had anyone to invite). I have always hated being the centre of attention and would cringe at the thought of people bringing me cards and/or presents.