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AIBU to feel totally devastated by all this?

(12 Posts)
carol123 Sun 12-May-13 17:35:18

I just feel so bad at the moment and everything seems so unreal. My daughter who is 20 has had 5 years of fainting spells - GP says its just low blood pressure as it only happens when she stands up and gets better after half hour. She looses consciousness for a few minutes - happened Friday at shops paramedics out 3rd time this month and twice this month shes managed to stop loosing consciousness by sitting down. Shes at uni and leaving home to work in Africa on a student placement for a month in 2weeks time. I am so worried about her.
My middle son moved out at beginning of the month to live with his girlfriend. Its as it should be but I really miss him around - he moved back here 7yrs ago when he split with the first GF.
Then last week sister went for a liver scan as had pain in the side. They found a large lump on her kidney and she thinks its cancer. And yesterday MIL 87 fell and broke her pelvis shes in hospital.
I went on an outing with DIL and 2 grandkids yesterday too. She was really miserable and her and my son were arguing - her telling him he cant go away next weekend for a hobby and him saying to the kid to beat her with a stick and she is a skivvy - said as a joke he doesnt hit her but its not funny it will affect the child's respect for his mum.
Im looking happy and seem all ok but inside I just feel like crying and never stopping.

Nonu Sun 12-May-13 17:39:53

Oh Carol , I am so sorry to hear of all your troubles .

Not much i can say except to send you very best wishes and a HUG !

carol123 Sun 12-May-13 17:45:00

Thanks Nonu it just seems unreal at the moment - was coping ok with son leaving but then everything else went down. Hope I dont have depression - I am usually a very optimistic person.

HildaW Sun 12-May-13 17:48:10

carol123 - Oh dear so sorry. All I can say at moment is that 'The Empty Nest Syndrone' is nothing to joke about. Its seriously depressing and debilitating on so many levels for some of us. The loss of our role, our child and the lovely cosy feeling of being a Mum is so little talked about. If it all gets too much I'd have a chat with your D, sounds like your stress levels might be a problem - that always magnifies emotional turmoil.

Mishap Sun 12-May-13 17:52:01

Such a lot going on in your life - no wonder you feel overwhelmed. We never do stop worrying about our children and in many ways it is more difficult to help as they grow older and more independent - at least when they were little we could kiss it better.

It is a difficult time of life with, for many of us, pressures from our children's generation and from our parents and in-laws.

I am sure we all send lots of support and good wishes for you.

Grannyknot Sun 12-May-13 18:02:01

Carol no wonder you feel overwhelmed sad. That is worrrying about your daughter, but she seems to have learnt how to manage it?

When things seem too much for me, I always fall back on the mantra "change what you can". If only we could fix everything, and straight away too...

Sending kind thoughts and flowers

HildaW Sun 12-May-13 18:03:59

Sorry...ment to type in Doctor.

Nonu Sun 12-May-13 18:27:11

I agree about going to see your GP , they can help a lot .

NfkDumpling Sun 12-May-13 18:39:25

Yes, see your doctor. So much on your plate at one time, he can at least advise you about the worry of your DD's blood pressure. Your mum is the best place, although she may not think so!

carol123 Sun 12-May-13 18:42:52

If I went to see the GP I would probably have a right go at him/her for leaving my DD five years without seeing any specialist / consultant lol! She 'manages' it by ringing me or her dad to pick her up from wherever she is and bring her home. Then we take her to collect her car later when she feels better. At least she has never ever fainted or felt dizy when sitting down so she can still drive. The GP is refering her now to cardiologist and neurologist but the bottom line is who is she going to ring in a 3rd world country in Africa? At least there are 20+ students going together so hopefully someone will look out for her. Oh and the heat makes it worse much much worse. At least she listened and got air ambulance cover on her travel insurance. She is stubborn and insisted on going on this trip.
Thanks to everyone for your support - I actually feel a bit better just writting it all down gets it all into perspective somehow IYSWIM

Nonu Sun 12-May-13 18:52:43

If i may say something else , i notice you haven"t posted since Christmas , so unless you have a big support group of friends , sometimes it helps to just "shoot the breeze " about quite unimportant things and have a laugh !
Do hope i haven"t spoken out of turn , just my thoughts .

Tegan Sun 12-May-13 19:35:11

Poor you. I think maybe you need to work out which of the problems you can do something about and which you can't and make a list [I'm a great believer in lists]. I understand how you feel about your son as the same thing happened with mine. When he was on his own after the split all I wanted was for him to be happy again but now he is I never see him [well, hardly ever]. At least your daughter is with a group of friends who, I assume know about the problem she has [although, can't believe her doctor hasn't done more to help; has she had an ecg?]. She needs to make sure she keeps herself well hydrated .And, if you sister has got a lump in her kidney the chances are that she could have that kidney taken out; a relative of mine had a tumour in his kidney and [touch wood] had that kidney removed years ago and is fine now. Age Concern [or whatever they're called now] and the Red Cross may be people to help you with your mum. And we're always here to listen flowers.