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Children's car seats

(17 Posts)
SJP Sat 26-Oct-13 16:51:42

I am supposed to be transporting my grandchildren in my car for our next contact meeting (as per court order) and have bought cars seats suitable for the children and my car after research, taking advice and having them being fitted by Halfords. Mum is objecting and insisting we use the usual ones (which are not recommended for my car) or that the children are transported by some other means. Mum is my son's ex partner and we don't get on (hence the court order) I have given assurances to her on the safety of the seats, but now she is consulting lawyers. Am I being unreasonable to stand my ground here?

gracesmum Sat 26-Oct-13 16:57:23

Can you explain the difference between the types of seat you are talking about please and why one sort is not recommended? I only know of the isofix sort or the sort you fix using the seat belts both of which are totally safe as long as fitted as per instructions. (And can be done oneself) How old are the DGC?

Elegran Sat 26-Oct-13 17:04:11

Transferring them from one car to another does not sound like a good idea - plenty of opportunity to get it wrong. If you are going to this regularly, then you would be transferring frequently.

Do you have written evidence that hers are not suitable for your car? She sounds like a nitpicker who will do her best to prove you wrong.

What on earth does she need lawyers involved for? Does she thinkyou would harm the children just to be awkward? Get it all recorded for future reference!

SJP Sat 26-Oct-13 17:07:11

My car does not have isofixing. DCG 2, 4 , 5

Flowerofthewest Sat 26-Oct-13 17:34:43

You are not being unreasonable at all SJP. I think that the ex is playing games as they often do in these situations. Stick to your guns.

Tegan Sat 26-Oct-13 17:42:47

I went to Halfords to get a car seat for my grandson to replace one that my daughter used to lend us that could be moved from one car to another. I was told that my car wasn't suitable for those sort of seats [it's a Yaris] as the seat had a dip in it, so I bought and had fitted a seat that could not be taken out. I was horrified to think that I could have used the other seat and it wouldn't have been safe. Can you get something in writing from Halfords to explain the situation? It's a nuisance losing half of the back of my car but more than worth it for the sake of my grandsons safety. Sounds totaly unreasonable SJP.

gracesmum Sat 26-Oct-13 17:53:29

OUr DGC use the seat belt fixing version of the MaxiCosi priori and the seats are totally easy to swap from one car to another (we did it when DGSs stayed with us the other week , but if your car is too old to have isofix fixings then she can't possibly insist. Yes it is a fiddle and if yu are prepared to go to the expense of fitting your own seats I don't see how she can object. Stick to your guns, she is just being awkward IMHO

ninathenana Sat 26-Oct-13 20:17:55

To put it bluntly. She's being ruddy ridiculous!!

I have my own seatbelt fixed seats for both DGSs. DD and SiL swap theirs between their respective cars. Theirs are seatbelt fixed too.

Deedaa Sat 26-Oct-13 21:13:11

I think she is being totally unreasonable and I can't imagine a lawyer agreeing with her. Any one would think you'd suggesting strapping the children to the roof rack!

harrigran Sun 27-Oct-13 00:21:21

It makes far more sense to have seats fitted in your car that are suitable for the make of car. Transferring seats from car to car is not ideal as they are fiddly when used with seat belts. She is being unreasonable.
I have always had isofix seats in our car and DS and DIL have been happy for us to transport GC.
No grandparent would ever risk hurting such a precious cargo, she needs to accept that you are a responsible person. If you didn't care you wouldn't be there. Good luck SJP

berdie Sun 27-Oct-13 08:47:41

Stick to your guns, you have done everything reasonably possible to ensure your GC's will be safe in your care. This ex is being stubborn and stupid, pity you can't give her a good slap!!!. Sorry, my ex tried this sort of trick 33 years ago. (I didn't slap her by the way).

annodomini Sun 27-Oct-13 10:15:04

Let her consult lawyers. It's her money! You are the one in the right.

Elegran Sun 27-Oct-13 10:52:43

anno is right. Have a written copy of the recommendation of using the one you chose for your car, and not using the unsuitable one that she wants you to use, and wave it at the lawyer if she gets that far. But if you stick to your guns and state that the safety of the children comes first with you, she will eventually back down. she just wants to have you dancing at the end of her string.

SJP Sun 27-Oct-13 11:57:42

Thank you for your encouraging comments. Elegran - has summed up the situation precisely in her final sentence, which is how I have approached it. Sometimes a little self reflection is good in the heat of the moment and when you are cross, its easy to take a stubborn stand and lose sight of what you looking to achieve, which of course is the children's safety and well being.

Mishap Sun 27-Oct-13 17:57:02

It sounds a very delicate situation - but it makes total sense for you to have suitable seats for your car so that the children can be safe. It does sound as thought whatever you do will not fit the bill for DIL. I think you are going to need he patience of a saint! Good luck!

SJP Sun 03-Nov-13 18:34:28

Well contact happened but I ended up hiring a car. Now have 3 car seats for sale - not used

gracesmum Sun 03-Nov-13 18:37:43

Oh dear - I suppose it was worth it just to see the DGC but how ridiculous! I'm afraid it's not you I thought was "taking a stubborn stand". Keep the seats for future use in the hope she actually grows up a bit?