Baby and Dog

Well done liminetta, that would have been my reaction too.

Sorry; seemed to have pressed the wrong key, somewhere;
Daughter and children looked at me incredulously, as I have never flatly refused them anything.However I have stuck to my guns, and the idea of owning a dog seems to have gone aways , as nobody is mentioning it any more, thank goodness.The best thing is to lay your cards on the table and the ball will be in their court.(sorry about the crossed metaphors/puns)

I would like to put my rwo penneth i on this subject.I have gladly looked after my two granddaughters since they were born,and now they are 13 and 14. Last October time, the youngest girl began pestering mum for to get a dog. Mum resisted for a while, but then said that they might get one at "guess when?" at Xmas!. When I heard this I put my two penneth in, and told them that if they got a dog, I certainly wouldn't be looking after it while they were out all day!

@Hermia123?

So what happened?

You have to think sometimes how big even a small dog is to a toddler. I worry that the child may have the remains of food [or a food smell] on their hands and the dog is attracted to it [wouldn't take much of a nip to damage a childs hand] and sometimes a young child will squeal suddenly which can have a strange effect on even the nicest of dogs. My one annoyance with my dog was years ago when a friend came to visit and came into my kitchen [where the dog lived] and started shouting at her to go away quite nastily when she just came over to say hello [especially as this friends children used to run amock around my house at times]. I didn't mind her asking the dog to go to her basket nicely but her tone was horrid and I felt like saying that it was, actually my dog's home and not hers. Grrr. A friend of mine recently had her child bitten on the face by a bulldog that she'd know for years .

Another of the very pro dog group here. I sympathise with the OP, because it sounds a bit as though the dog is adding to existing resentments. I have two dogs currently. My children grew up with dogs, my grandchildren also. All my family has dogs. We had 3 here Christmas day, along with my two live in dogs. My young dog is a bit of a nut frankly, despite him being well bred, well socialised and very well behaved in most situations. He is, however, a bit reactive, so I am working very hard with friends young children, and other dogs to increase my own dogs confidence and reliability. I have a safety gate between the kitchen and the utility room, where the dogs beds are, they are fed and sleep. This was a great help in a busy house over Christmas. Never needed to separate any of my previous dogs, but this young poodle cross is a bit, well poodley, and his comfort zone is a bit limited. I wouldn't ask anyone to look after him until he's a lot more settled, whereas every previous dog has been easy to look after. I do hope the dog and child minding worked out without too much stress for you Hermia

I'm with you all the way when. For various reasons I don't have a dog right now, but my life is the poorer for it.

It could be argued that it was dogs who tamed people in prehistoric times, rather than the other way around, and we have enjoyed a mutually beneficial relationship since then. But like you when, I am not campaigning to change anyone's opinion. I just feel lucky to have to have known some wonderful dogs and hope to share my life with one or two others before I finally pop my clogs.

Dogs that bite children and behave badly are, of course, not welcome. Those dogs that gave been badly bred, not been consistently trained and disciplined, or been socialised with families, have no place around children.

And then there are the responsible owners who love dogs and understand what is needed to enable them to fit into a family. They bring great joy, companionship, friendship to children - their contribution is immeasurable.

We'll agree to disagree. I don't campaign to change anyone's opinion. My entire life has been enriched by sharing it with much-loved dogs - dogs, mind you, not replacement babies, lap dogs or out of control or undomesticated animals.

Must go - Paul O'Grady's Christmas Love of Dogs is starting. Highly recommended!

Well said Mishap. have just been reading about a child bitten on the face by the Grandmother's dog, not a risk I would be prepared to take.

mishap you have said everything I wanted to say but could not find the right way to put it thank you x

I agree that the dogs are the innocent parties in all of this - they did not ask to exist - humans intervened and bred them as they are and in the numbers that there are - and it is human beings who treat them as home creatures to be petted, when they are by nature pack animals and need to be outside with their fellows.

I do understand how precious dogs can be to their owners, but the situation we have created is not natural and we cannot expect everyone else to share our views or our delight in having an animal in the house. There has to be respect for others here, and if you do not like to have a dog in the house as part of the babysitting package, then you should not feel pressured into it, or made to feel insensitive and unkind.

I think that tegan has it right here - she loves dogs and keeps one, but does not expect the rest of her family and friends to share that view or to have to deal with the dog if they do not wish to.

It is about having consideration for others; and about recognising that humans come first in human environments.

grannygranby you seem to prefer your dog to your granddaughter!

I wasn't going to have another dog after I lost my last one but,as my daughter was pregnant at the time I had another one because I wanted the child to grow up with one [my daughter always being adamant she didn't want a dog ever]. Needless to say he doesn't like dogs and has always been scared of her. His younger brother, who has been brought up in exactly the same way loves the dog and has no fear of her whatsoever. When the family are here the dog stays in the kitchen and I have dog gates on the doors, so they can see her and she them but they know she can't come into the room. The elder boy ignores her and the younger one askes to give her dog biscuits.

Dogs tend not to have tantrums and expect the earth.
So grateful when you take them for a walk.
All heart. Now children...mmmm
It is so easy to be anti-dog isn't it - and they haven't a voice.
My grandaughter paid a visit yesterday and screamed and screamed whenever my dog looked at her. Was instantly comforted by her over- anxious parents. I put my blameless sweet dog in separate room but as she screamed at virtually anything else I later let Bess back in. By the time they left I had a very confused dog.
Welcome the dog. It demands nothing and kennels are harsh cold cages at the end of the day. Have a heart. Don't punish the innocent.

I always lived in dread of my DiL getting a dog as I know they wanted one. My husband likes dogs but I,m not keen. Luckily I was never put to the test. I don,t think you are being unreasonable at all - having a toddler is hard enough but at least they are the same species!

It wouldn't have occurred to me that a dog was a problem because I would just see it as part of the family. There are always problems with arrangements. My baby sitting plans for this week have been wiped out because my husband has a virus. This has left our son and daughter hunting around for a plan B. It all looked great on paper though.
I expect you are being taken for granted, but I'm sure I take my children for granted far too much. We just agreed to accept that we all do it and it evens out over time.

I guess it all depends on what sort of dog it is and how well behaved; it could, potentially be far more hard work than the child. I'd never dream of taking my dog to anyones house; my house is geared up to dogs but if you have clean carpets etc you don't really want a dog traipsing over them. Just a thought about the Christmas arrangements, though. It does sound as if step DIL's father is on his own, which would account for them wanting to spend Christmas with him perhaps? Step families are a nightmare methinks.

Last time I remember a discussion about dogs it too split down the lines of those who see dogs as 'dirty and dangerous' and those who see them as 'woman's best friend'. I'm certainly in the latter camp. I'm guessing Hermia46 is in the former or this wouldn't be an issue for her.

Being a bit of a 'dog nut' okay, a major 'dog nut' I would be chuffed to little pieces to look after both the child and the dog. I would though expect OH to take a major part in the child/animal care as his penance for agreeing to babysit the dog without even discussing it with me first.

Toddler's parents are calling for help and I'd always say yes and hope they'd do the same for me if I asked. Give and take is often not equal but isn't this what families are for?
Presumably op knows the dog and the owners know he won't any trouble. If not, they shouldn't have asked.

Frankly I don't see the problem with helping out in what seems to be an emergency. Isn't that what we are here to do? Fair enough it is nice if it is appreciated (which I am sure it is) but who else does a young parent turn to but "Mum"? It is a privilege which many Grans would give their eye teeth for. So yes, I am afraid I think YABU.

Hmmm Nellie didn't think of that.

If your DH agreed to have the dog, I don't see how you can retract that unless he agrees. To me the point is that they are "too busy" to give you time to suit you and yes, I think they are being selfish thoughtless, but show me any young couple who are any different?? [cynical] emoticon- to a greater or lesser extent that is. Depending on your relationhsip with them you could say gently and (with humour) how much you would like to see more of them and not just the dog - but re the DGC I would rejoice that you are needed! Being pathetically grateful for any time with DGC is the name of the game these days - but if you stick to your guns, you may not be asked again so you pays your money and you takes your choice.

flower Not a good idea, it would be sure to backfire and she would get ill.
Talk about tempting fate!