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Am I being morbid...

(19 Posts)
annodomini Tue 11-Mar-14 14:06:13

... to reflect that this is the day I catch up with my mother who died 31 years ago at exactly the age I am now. She had an aggressive cancer whereas I, despite a number of non-fatal issues, am (touch wood) in pretty good shape. Poor Mum. flowers for her

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 11-Mar-14 14:11:33

flowers anno. Not morbid. You are bound to think along these lines today.

Bellasnana Tue 11-Mar-14 14:46:06

No, I don't think it's morbid at all. I had similar feelings when I realised I was now older than my 'big sister' who died aged 54.
flowers for you and your mum

kittylester Tue 11-Mar-14 14:50:12

Not morbid anno and I expect lots of people feel the same. flowers

Flowerofthewest Tue 11-Mar-14 15:13:06

No not morbid at all. I feared reaching 58, the age my father died. Then I feared 62 the age my DH's father died. We are now almost 66 and 74 and still going. It is rather scary heading towards the significant dates.

soop Tue 11-Mar-14 15:28:02

anno and flowers for you, too

Grannyknot Tue 11-Mar-14 15:36:01

Not morbid, my husband said it felt really strange when he was now "older than my dad" (his father died at age 50).

KatyK Tue 11-Mar-14 15:44:02

No not morbid. I have taken after my mother in a lot of things. She died at 58 of a heart attack. I have always had it in the back of my mind that I would die at the same age. However I will be 65 in July and (as far as I know) I am OK. My DH's parents both died in their early 50s. He was dreading 50 but he will be 68 this week. He has type 2 diabetes but it is under control. He is fit and healthy.. smile

granjura Tue 11-Mar-14 17:51:48

Of course not morbid- is is totally normal. OH's died of his third heart attack aged 52, and for him, his 53rd birthday was a milestone. He will be 68 at the week-end, and due to his own health problems (kidney damage due to untreated strep throat when a medical student) never thought he would get to 60. He is going strong, thank goodness.

My own parents died aged 94 and 96- and for me it it he other way round- as I think they were so amazingly fit until well into their 80s. Enjoy this big milestone and look forward to the future and your great-grand-children.

Deedaa Tue 11-Mar-14 23:33:09

I think it's only natural to notice some of these milestones. I am now 3 years older than my father was when he died and 8 years older than my mother was when she was widowed. In my husband's case both his parents lived well into their 80's, but he will be very lucky if he does the same.

My SiL has kidney damage after a strep throat last year granjura unfortunately it has also affected his heart, but hopefully it will be sorted out. He's not 50 yet and has two small children.

annsixty Wed 12-Mar-14 11:28:25

I have rather a different take on this.My Father died at 49 and my Mother at 101 so I have lived much longer than one and would not wish to emulate the other.However I had Breast Cancer at the age of 62 and the oncologist who was a lovely man and I am sure trying to be reassuring ,told me I probably wouldn't live to be 80.It must have seemed a long way off then but now that I am nearly 77 it is starting to worry me!!!

KatyK Wed 12-Mar-14 11:36:45

granjura - my DH will be 68 at the weekend too! smile

Aka Wed 12-Mar-14 11:43:24

No not morbid Anno perfectly natural and understandable.

whenim64 Wed 12-Mar-14 12:04:23

I think many people measure their lives against the milestones their relatives reached, anno. It's not morbid. Good to know you're in relatively good shape. smile

rosesarered Wed 12-Mar-14 20:41:32

It's the same for me too, now that I have passed the age that my Mother died. There is no logical reason for us to think the same will happen, but the thought is there just the same.

Kiora Wed 12-Mar-14 21:01:37

My sister rang me on my 46th birthday to congratulate me on being lucky enough to have outlived our grandmother, and our lovely mum. When I thanked her profusely saying mum died age 47 and now thanks to that information I would now worry for a whole year she was horrified. But not as horrified as me who did indeed worry but I'm still here at 61. So worried for nothing thanks to my sister. I'd have never really given it a thought if she hadn't bought it up.

FlicketyB Wed 12-Mar-14 21:09:54

A close friend died suddenly last week and all I could think when told the news was; 'but he is eleven days younger than me'. as if that had any relevance to the issue.

janeainsworth Wed 12-Mar-14 21:16:31

No, not morbid Anno. I think it's normal to compare our lives with our parents. I also think it's normal to continue to feel the loss of our parents for many years.
When my mother was my age, she had already been widowed for 11 years. I constantly count my blessings.

granjura Wed 12-Mar-14 22:44:42

Deeda, I am so sorry to hear about your SIL and hope he makes a good recovery. Oh was only 24 and doing his final exams- and just could not afford to re-take the year- and collapsed after the exams. But it was too late- we've been so lucky that he was able to live with the damage, and see his children grown up.

KatyK- happy BD to your DH- is it on 16th like my DH? He never ever thought it make it pas 60- and had other health problems (a-rhyhmia and fibrillation which distorted his heart) but after electrical conversion nearly 2 years ago- he has been fine and doing very well- and I am very grateful.