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(13 Posts)
ninathenana Wed 14-May-14 19:12:18

DD & DS had pounds worth of tommy train set, stations, bridges and enough track to run around 20' long lounge/diner. They played with it under supervision. DD asked for it for 5yr old DGS. It was always the intention to pass it on.
I was disappointed today to see that it's all just been chucked into his toy box, bits missing, bits broken.
AIBU to expect her to look after it. (angry) With hindsight I should have kept it at ours.

MiniMouse Wed 14-May-14 19:33:47

Oh, how disappointing for you. Things don't seem to be treasured any more in the way that we used treasure them.

My lot are all very careful with their things, so I'm lucky I haven't had to deal with this situation.

If it's not something that you feel you can bring up with your DD, then perhaps in future you will have to decide either not to give them things, or to accept that once you have given them it's up to DD how they are treated.

I've taken that attitude when giving money as presents - it's up to them how they spend it, even if it's not something that I feel it should be spent on!!

Just had a thought - could you give them a 'special' box to keep it all in, saying that you noticed that they didn't have a proper home for the train set etc?

rosequartz Wed 14-May-14 20:07:03

You can buy fabric or MDF boxes with Thomas the Tank Engine and similar themes all over them, I bought one for DGD1 to keep her Thomas train and track in. Could you buy one and show him how to put it away nicely and keep it all together, say that otherwise he won't be able to play with it if it is broken?

Tegan Wed 14-May-14 20:13:36

I can feel your pain sad. I'm a terribly messy person but always take care of certain things [eg the childrens jigsaws and toys were always put away complete and the dolls house was always left tidy; even when the rest of the house wasn't!]. Similar things have happened to me with things I've passed on [mainly books].

Ana Wed 14-May-14 20:13:43

If it's not something that you feel you can bring up with your DD, then perhaps in future you will have to decide either not to give them things, or to accept that once you have given them it's up to DD how they are treated.

I agree, MiniMouse, and also with your point that things don't seem to be treasured so much these days. I've noticed the same with my own DD - the children just have so many toys that everything is just thrown in the toy box willy-nilly at the end of the day. sad

FlicketyB Wed 14-May-14 21:59:40

ninathenanny, I know how you feel, I have the same problem. I am careful and look after things, DS and DDiL are not.

I have just decided to give to charity a lot of toys I kept where I can see that they will be disregarded if added to the heap of toys DGC already have, otherwise I just distance myself and accept that we cannot expect our children to conform to our rules of care and behaviour and value things simply because we do.

suzied Thu 15-May-14 06:25:14

I've got a lovely dolls house which I keep at my house and a huge box of playmobil, vintage camper vans, covered wagons and a train set. Not giving any away! It's nice to have stuff which they can play with at Nanny's . We've also got a go kart and bikes.

ninathenana Thu 15-May-14 10:05:32

We do have several toys here for them. DD asked to have the train set at hers. At the time I didn't think anything of it.
I think what most annoys me is it's something that's been packed away some of it in original boxes in the loft for 20 odd years and now in 2-3 months it's wrecked.

felice Thu 15-May-14 10:19:24

I keep toys I and my friends buy downstairs here with me and I have noticed DGS is very fussy with them, bricks in one box, cars in another, etc, and he hates it if they are put away muddled up, upstairs with DD and Sil everything is just in one big box all jumbled up.
I make a point of keeping 'good' stuff down here and he seems to appreciate it.

Elegran Thu 15-May-14 10:33:15

Forty years ago some people were just the same. I ran a playgroup in a church hall for 30+ children between 2 1/2 and five, and every day we put away the toys and equipment in separate boxes and put aside anything that needed attention. The children would help, and learned a lot about sorting things into categories, as well as about looking after things. It was also a lot easier to get everything out again next morning when it was neatly packed.

Often mothers would fill in for one of us if we were off work for any reason, so they must have known the routine. However on one occasion the whole thing was (wo)manned by mothers. The following day there was a mish-mash of lego, crayons, books, construction parts, etc, all stuffed into random boxes. Instead of setting up in ten minutes we took an hour to sort it all out and have an orderly peaceful space for the children to play in.

If parents can't be arsed to look after things, how can children learn to?

Tegan Thu 15-May-14 10:50:57

felice; I think your grandson [along with one of mine] is going to be an engineer [it's be interesting to see if that happens smile].

whenim64 Thu 15-May-14 10:51:01

I keep a variety of toys here - some get trashed, others seem to be unbreakable. I have a dolls house which looks like it's been burgled when five year old grandsons have finished with it, then along come my son's step-children to lovingly put it all back in order. Anything that's a bit precious I would take responsibility for, as it's me that treasures it. Fortunately, all the Thomas train track and engines etc are tough as old boots and have lasted years.

Marmight Thu 15-May-14 10:59:39

I keep a load of toys for the gc's but as they visit infrequently they are mostly unused. Many of them belonged to the DD's - Fisher Price circus train, camper van, Lego, puzzles and dozens of books etc. I think I am keeping them for 2 reasons - sentimental and because they are all in such good condition as they had to put everything away in the correct place. I used to spend hours sorting out the puzzles so they were complete ready for the next day. If only I had been so fussy about my housework! Luckily, 2 out of the 3 DD's have inherited my obsession for 'a place for everything and everything in its place' and 4 of the gc's are learning to respect their toys and be tidy. As there may be a downsizing on the horizon I am going to have to be very brave and offload a lot of them..........sad