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Banned for being single

(182 Posts)
sunseeker Mon 10-Nov-14 09:15:57

A local amusement park has banned a man from going to see a falconry display because he is a single person. This park does have attractions aimed at children, like an adventure playground, and I can understand excluding single people from this area, but it also has other attractions, including a restaurant, which adults can enjoy. This ban is against all single adults, male and female.

Their reasoning for banning him is for child protection, which is why I could understand the exclusion from the play area, but a blanket ban on all single people is, I believe, over the top.

soontobe Mon 10-Nov-14 12:43:08

I have come to think that the general public has vastly underestimated the sort of murky stuff that has been going on in the last few decades.

I was a teenager in the 70's, which from my perspective was rosy.
But a lot of stuff that has come to light recently, is about what was going on in that decade in particular.

So I think that men in particular have been getting away with stuff they should not have.

And vulnerable people in particular have born the brunt of this.

janeainsworth Mon 10-Nov-14 12:50:38

Are you referring to celebrity sexual abuse of young girls and/or abuse if children in local authority homes, soontobe?
I'm not sure what either of those have to do with the real or perceived risk to children from strangers in Leisure Parks.

whenim64 Mon 10-Nov-14 13:16:04

It's interesting to observe how communities who clamour for certain restrictions out of fear have their demands met in such ways. Stranger danger is actually very low down on the chances of risk to children, yet safe road crossings, traffic lights and lollipop people to help children across following accidents are nigh impossible to get!

Iam64 Mon 10-Nov-14 13:17:40

The links between children's homes/celebrity and the issue under discussion here seem to include the vulnerability of children, the fact that most people now accept that the level of csa now being is higher than the general public previously believed, alongside the risk of litigation. The BBC and various hospitals face the prospect of litigation from victims of JS and that's just one example.

Soontobe - child sexual abuse didn't begin a few decades ago, it's been around as long as people have. sad

ginny Mon 10-Nov-14 13:20:58

For goodness sake, surely the children who are at these places are with a parent, carer, responsible adult. It is their job to keep an eye on the child to see that it doesn't come to any harm.

I often sit on a bench at the park when the weather is good and it is just by the play area. I am just resting before the homeward journey. Hope I'm not going to be banned from doing that.

soontobe Mon 10-Nov-14 13:23:53

I am talking about uk society in general janeainsworth.

I agree that it has been around forever Iam64.

I think that women are generally not prepared to put up with some behaviour that they were prepared to put up with previously. Partly I suspect because they are more likely to earn their own money now.
So there are more men who are seeking thrills elsewhere.

petallus Mon 10-Nov-14 13:25:06

I notice it was a single man who was banned. Do we know whether single women are also banned?

About ten percent of paedophiles are women and most of those are under the influence of a man.

Ana Mon 10-Nov-14 13:28:00

If you read the OP carefully, petallus, you'll see that the ban is against all single adults, male and female.

whenim64 Mon 10-Nov-14 13:49:29

soontobe the lack of an outlet to abuse children or women behind closed doors, or towards a woman who is vulnerable, doesn't cause men to seek thrills elsewhere by trying to target children outdoors in places like parks. Different triggers and ranges of attraction altogether.

Charleygirl Mon 10-Nov-14 13:50:17

This subject was discussed on the Matthew Wright show this am and he said that Ian Brady would not have been allowed in but he would have been, accompanied by Myra Hindley. That makes a nonsense of it all.

granjura Mon 10-Nov-14 14:10:53

I've posted this on a Forum full of young British expats- and their reaction 'this is why we've moved away from the UK' !

soontobe Mon 10-Nov-14 14:11:50

Not sure you are right there whenim64.

It is the sort of thing that is difficult to measure - the what would have happened things.

soontobe Mon 10-Nov-14 14:13:05

Why does that make them move away from the UK?
I dont understand.

petallus Mon 10-Nov-14 14:19:44

I don't think single women should be banned. There is very little danger from them.

whenim64 Mon 10-Nov-14 14:23:48

I'm not going to bore you with criminal profiling or the details of a career working with sex offenders, soontobe, but paedophiles looking for children in parks don't tend to be domestic violence abusers who get off on their violence or family men who sexually assault children within the home. Their fantasies are acted out differently.

rosesarered Mon 10-Nov-14 14:39:50

Not sure how I feel on this question really. However, a single adult [Father, Uncle , Mother etc] could take a child into the Park [so that's ok] but could not enter on his or her own; Well, why would an adult on their own want to enter this Park? This Park is really for children, so the facy that an adult would want to go there is a bit suspect.There are plenty of cafes to go to without going into one of these places.It's not just a municipal park, where anyone can wander around, is it?I think, on reflection, that this leisure Park has the right policy.

rosesarered Mon 10-Nov-14 14:40:40

typo! facy should read 'fact'.

rosesarered Mon 10-Nov-14 14:42:26

Arrgh! Another typo, as I meant to type 'it's not just a municipal park'.

soontobe Mon 10-Nov-14 14:43:35

What sort of men are paedophiles generally.
Single men?

sunseeker Mon 10-Nov-14 15:00:13

The reason I originally posted this was as a childless woman I have found myself excluded from many clubs and organisations throughout my adult life, now as a widow am I also to be excluded from a leisure park (which incidentally isn't just for children). I live next to a field and when it snows the village children play there with their toboggans, am I to sit in my house with the curtains closed while they play in that field?

The man who was banned is, in fact, a grandfather who has an interest in birds and wanted to see the falconry and birds of prey display which had been advertised at the park.

I am, of course, aware of the need to protect children from those that would harm them but I believe 95% of the abuse of children is done by a parent/relative/close friend of the family. A blanket ban on single people using a leisure park does nothing to protect children.

We are told we should go out and not isolate ourselves in our homes, yet if this ban were to be taken up by other facilities where are single people to go? Would we be stopped from attending cinemas, swimming pools and even shopping centres?

soontobe Mon 10-Nov-14 15:06:06

I see your point.

I suppose, from my non single pov, do single people go to cinemas by themselves very often?
Or parks like the one you have quoted in your op?

sunseeker Mon 10-Nov-14 15:12:44

I regularly go for walks alone around a local park, I have also been to the cinema on my own. Many of my friends either live too far away or have partners so are not able to come with me.

I was actually considering going to the park in question as it is around 8 miles from where I live but doubt I will now do so (although I understand they are now reconsidering their policy).

soontobe Mon 10-Nov-14 15:15:56

I should imagine that there are single men and widows and widowers who repeatedly enjoy a visit to their local park.
Not sure the single rule could or would ever be applied there.

henetha Mon 10-Nov-14 15:30:38

As a single woman (now) who goes around a lot on my own, I hope they don't start banning me from places! Woman are, of course, less suspect than men, but in today's atmosphere of suspicion I am quite careful not to speak to small children for fear of being leapt upon by over anxious parents.

What a sad society we have become in some ways these days.

Ana Mon 10-Nov-14 15:35:55

I'm not sure what your post indicates either, granjura. Are these young ex-pats implying that Britain is full of paedophiles and that's why they moved away?

Or because some leisure parks have put possibly over-zealous safeguards in place to protect children against abuse? confused

Either seems a strange reason!