Banned for being single

But you see, that is the problem- the risk assessment is not done by individuals for individuals- it is made by 'systems', be it the Government, the education or social services depts, individual schools, and in this case a business- and we are all affected by those decisions.

And it is true too that the current 'obsession' in the UK re peadophilia- and the distortion of actual risk due to predatory peadophiles, as say, compared to the risks of parental traffic around schools- is real and has consequences.

The risks are not greater in the UK than in, say, France or Germany- and yet the response is totally different.

The reason the responses in the UK appear disproportionate to the rest of Europe is that, like the USA and some Scandinavian countries, we have learned the hard way that a centralised system of intelligence and communication of recorded criminal data is vital to enable the safeguarding of children. Multi-Agency Public Protection Arrangements (MAPPA) ensure an overview across the UK and professionals who manage the risk presented by sex offenders and violent criminals travel across counties to attend public protection meetings whenever a very high risk offender moves address, in order to keep communities safe. This happens as routine now in the UK but not in most European countries - yet. Look at the chaos of the Maddie McCann case - known sex offenders in the area would have been rounded up in hours here in the UK, but Portugal used old-fashioned policing methods.

Notorious child abuse and murder cases have highlighted the flaws in police and social services exchange of information and now this has largely been remedied. The knowledgeable people who have helped to improve things for the UK have taken their knowledge further afield and Europe is gradually catching up.

However, it's correct to say that the media sensationalising and exaggerating about sex offenders being out in the community is not helpful and can lead children to think strangers may harm them - as others say, more harm is done in the home by family members. Predatory paedophiles are still out there, but criminal profiling and knowledge about their whereabouts enables police to set additional restrictions around them, and some are under surveillance.

Please don't assume the UK over-reacts at the level of the authorities. Tabloid papers often do, some broadsheets do. People who have firsthand experience of abuse are often on high alert, and no wonder. Europe will catch up in due course.

I refuse to compare 1 risk to another.
To my mind, that is pointless.
In fact, it could be dangerous, if we perceive the slighter risks too low, merely because they may be lower.

I do all risks on an individual basis.

I agree though that there are also some risks, such as you say parental traffic around schools, may need to be assessed and dealt with higher.

True, we are all affected by the health and safety rules.
By and large, I am grateful for the work that is done in this area.

good post whenim64

You appear to have totally misunderstood my post "Spot on Nightowl. Predatory, that is the word I was looking for."

I was agreeing with Nightowl, that the vast majority of offenders in the UK are NOT predatory and do not present a risk to our children.

How do we know that - from personal opinion.

Very little of what has been stated in this thread can be proven or comes from reliable sources - I don't consider Internet or Newspaper reliable sources.

When the police state that they cannot cope, it is with peodophiles in the privacy of their homes as the manpower is better spent try to catch the front line offenders that provide the material. As with drugs, it is the pushers primarily they wish to find, not the users. This information was from a recent TV interview on the subject.

I think this thread has run it's course, some contributors will not consider any or believe other opinion regardless of the evidence given.

I look forward to the day when I can smile at or speak to a child without being labeled a criminal, with some of the opinions express, I fear I will be in my box before it happens

Personal opinion can be very localised.

Do you consider TV a reliable source?

Yes I do consider BBC news to be a reliable source, the most reliable public source of information we have.
My DIL is a director with BBC News and I am well versed in the research that goes on behind every news item.

Good points, pompa. Despite working in child protection, I have given my children reasonable freedom, encouraged them to reply politely when kind strangers speak to them and not filled their heads with scare stories. I love to watch my SiL bathing his little girls and having them shrieking with laughter and it saddens me that some dads and grandads feel restricted because of the misinformation about touching or not that has been spread around. Yes, there is a lot of abuse of children - we can all do our bit to keep them safe if we see something worrying - but fortunately, most children are safe and the risks of accidents are higher than experiencing child abuse.

We can either bring our children up in a climate of fear and damage their emotional development or teach them ways to keep safe.

Soontobe, 'systems' have to compare one risk with another to decide where to allocate funds and support- this is what statisitics are for.

You have to compare, for instance, the risk of a cold with the risk of meningitis. The reality of risks for our children and grand-children have to be assessed to. What you do at individula level is of course your own choice.

Whenim64, why should 'Europe' catch up in due course? Surely it only makes sense if the risks assessed are shown to be great and a priority.

Re-read your post Whenim- and yes, in this sense I totally agree about Europe catching up- after the fiasco in Portugal with little Madeleine. Apologies for scanning your post too fast and getting the wrong end of the stick.

Will have to check the situation for other European countries, including my own which is actually in central Europe but not 'in Europe' to check what happens in such cases with international cooperation. I live right on the border with France, and local police on both sides do work together more and more.

I completely disagree with banning all singles from amusement parks. Both of my DCs have gone to them with crowds of friends as singles and had a wonderful time. What an appalling idea. When does a teen become a single? Why should my 19 year old son be one day a child, the next day a suspected paedo?

There was a survey recently, done completely anonymously, about male and female fantasies and it involved thousands of people of all ages. Only 0.004% of males fantasised about having sex with a child, I think for females it was 0.001%. However they said that a fantasy was just that. So let's say that in every large town of above 100,000 there is one male paedophile - all of the other single males are about to be penalised just because of that one male. Which in many ways, they already are.

And yes, I do have several single male and female friends who go to the cinema by themselves. Being still in my 50s, I am of the first generation that didn't expect to marry. Many of my friends have never married at all, just as many are now divorced and I am the only sister of four with a husband/steady relationship. To think that I wouldn't be able to go to a park that we used to go to with the children for old times' sake with my sisters is literally incredible. I would be more than happy to trundle around Legoland completely unfettered by children.

vampirequeen.
It isnt an either or.
We should be able to manage to teach them ways to keep safe, and also not bring them up in a climate of fear.
It is a balance. And not a difficult one at that.

janerowena " Only 0.004% of males fantasised about having sex with a child," this should be more accurately be read as only 0.004% of males who agreed to complete the survey (how were they recruited btw?) actually admitted to fantasising about having sex with a child. Critical appraisal of research findings is crucial. Whenim64 provided extremely good accurate info.
In my line of work I`ve had grim days when I`ve thought all men fantasised about children. Sickeningly, I`ve had to confiscate the Mothercare catalogue before now.

janerowena.
I could be wrong, but I dont think that the park in question has any problem with "a group of singles".
I dont think any of us are discussing "groups of singles" on this thread. Could be wrong.

I think singles do go alone to the cinema.
But not many people go alone to amusement parks.

A teen becoming an adult, and being treated as such is natural.

Jane10. Thank you for doing the work that you do.

catching up on this thread I see that opinion is still deivided over the unreasonableness of tarring all singles (over 18) with a paedophile accusation.
I suspect those who think single people potentially pose a real and present threat are not themselves singletons else they would realise that being single is not a predeterminate of behaviour - we singles are the same people as when we were not single (or never have been part of a couple.)
on a final note - if playgrounds and amusement parks and softplay areas (my idea of hell) are to be families with children only
- can we single adults have areas set aside for us with no noisy shrieking teens or squabbling children where we can enjoy natural sounds and not feel guilty about being a possible threat

Ana
The BBC report only suggests that it's a recent policy, rosequartz

The park manager has been interviewed on our local BBC programme and it did sound as if it had been recently introduced.

Someone on a post gave a shudder.
Well, it wouldn't stop me going to Puxton park with the DGC, I would have thought that there is no more threat there (less now!) than anywhere else where young children play.

It's not just a soft play park, it is educational too - the DDs enjoyed watching the cows being milked!

Sorry, DGDs.

soontobe....sorry I don't understand your post which with refers to:

We can either bring our children up in a climate of fear and damage their emotional development or teach them ways to keep safe.

I wasn't saying we should bring them up in a climate of fear. In fact I've been complaining about the climate of fear all the way through this thread.

Young drivers cause/have more accidents than any other age group. We make the driving tests harder, we make them take more lessons and the theory has just become a lot harder too.

We don't clear the road of all other users.

vampirequeen.
You said we can....or teach them ways to keep safe.

I am saying that teaching them to keep safe in no way means bringing them up in a climate of fear.

Most paedophiles[I presume] choose to act alone.
[I know there are some paedophile rings]
The rule in the park is most probably not due to wanting to stop older women from entering alone. But they cant just stipulate no single men.

janerowena.
I presume this particular park has a particular reason.
A bit akin to an accident blackspot which needs to be dealt with, even if it is inconvenient to a small minority of other users.