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AIBU to expect my bank to stick to it's own guidelines

(17 Posts)
vampirequeen Fri 19-Dec-14 19:29:18

I've just sent this to my bank. Do you think they'll reply? grin

Problems with PPI
It was on a sunny morning
In balmy mid July
When I received a letter
Saying, “We might have mis-sold you PPI.”

“Would you like to make a claim?
It’s really very easy.
Just complete a simple form.
It won’t make you queasy.”

“Yes please.” I said
And checked the form.
T’was true it was mis-sold.
I filled it in and told my tale
Then waited for my gold
(Well money really but it didn’t rhyme)

Autumn brought a letter.
“You’re right, we owe you money,
Just sign this form and in eight weeks
You’ll be a happy bunny.”

So I signed the form and waited.
But when it came it brought forth tears
I had to share with my ex-husband
Who I hadn’t seen for seven years.

But, hey, it’s still a thousand plus
And so, without delay.
I left him a message
Cos he wasn’t in that day.

He phoned the bank
Confirmed their facts
And gave them information
They said, “That’s all we need to know,”
We waited in anticipation.

I planned a lovely Christmas.
A thousand pounds to spend
There’d be food and drink a plenty
The fun would never end.

But, oh my plans were scuppered.
I waited and I waited
No letter was forthcoming
I began to feel deflated.

November saw me phone the bank
To find the cause of the delays
Was told it was in the pipeline
And would be paid within 30 days.

The 30 days is up today.
And still there is no money.
No Christmas food.
No Christmas toys.
It really isn’t funny.

Now I’m told I have to wait.
There are more people in the queue
Than the bank can sort out easily
And they don’t know what to do.
(Well they do but it will take more time).

I’ve thought this over carefully.
And this is not in jest
We’ll call it an informal overdraft
You owe me charges and interest.

You would charge me £15
If I default a payment
Plus add on daily interest fees
Well, I’m no longer feeling patient.

I’ll bill you regularly each month
And when payment is due
Be careful that you don’t default
As extra charges will accrue.

I trust you’ll take this rhyme to heart
It’s really very simple
You’ve tried to change or break the rules
Isn’t that a sort of swindle?

I am a long term customer
I’ve really been quite loyal
I stayed true through every crisis
But now you’ve made me boil

If you don’t sort this problem out
Pretty soon, then well
I’ll contact the Banking Ombudsman
And raise up merry hell.

You’ve already spoilt my Christmas plans
Because you didn’t try
To follow your own guidelines
For repaying PPI

Now you’ve read my tale of woe
I’m sure you’ll do your best
To solve my current problem
With wit and speed and zest

If you don’t think this is possible
Without causing some unrest
Don’t forget I’ll be billing you
For charges and interest.

whenim64 Fri 19-Dec-14 19:42:56

Fabulous, vq. If that doesn't get a result, rack up the charges like they would and send all this information to the Ombudsman. By the way, my daughter had several phone calls from the Ombudsmam (well....woman) who was very friendly and helpful, and gave her direct contact details if she had any queries. She got her money back quickly once the Ombudsman was on the case.

FarNorth Fri 19-Dec-14 19:42:56

That's the spirit, vampire queen
Just tell them what is what
They grabbed your money when they could
Now they can keep it (not)

You're right about the interest
The fees you want to charge
The bank is due you lots of dosh
Their bill is getting large(r)

smile smile

posie Fri 19-Dec-14 20:03:11

Well done vampirequeen! tchgrin

tiggypiro Fri 19-Dec-14 20:05:31

Brilliant vampirequeen !

durhamjen Fri 19-Dec-14 20:10:18

If you were a business it would be legal to do that. I do not see why individuals do not have the same opportunity to charge interest. Or do they?
I sent off a form to CCP and they sent me a cheque which included interest.

merlotgran Fri 19-Dec-14 20:10:48

Good for you, vq tchgrin

vampirequeen Fri 19-Dec-14 20:22:55

lol FarNorth

ninathenana Sat 20-Dec-14 10:02:11

Very clever and you certainly have a point.

MiniMouse Sat 20-Dec-14 11:27:40

Well, if that doesn't work, I don't know what will! tchgrin

Mishap Sat 20-Dec-14 11:32:57

Sock it to 'em!

loopylou Sat 20-Dec-14 11:41:44

Atta girl! Brilliant piece of work!

petra Sun 21-Dec-14 09:50:46

I was impressed by Santander this week. OH had sent them 3 emails asking them to explain how they calculated the charge on money being sent from abroad.
They sent us £35 with an apology for being late.

vampirequeen Sun 21-Dec-14 13:47:21

Oooh that's amazing. A bank actually admitting a mistake.

durhamjen Sun 21-Dec-14 14:23:38

The problem is that a bank does not have money of its own. It makes money out of other people's money. So when it gives people money for having made a mistake, it's money that it has to take away from its savers.

vampirequeen Sun 21-Dec-14 22:09:47

They're quick to take money off us if we make a mistake.

durhamjen Sun 21-Dec-14 22:13:22

Too true, vampirequeen. My sister had to go to the ombudsman about the charges that Yorkshire Bank had been making. She won, though. Got over £800 back. They had taken it from her in the first place.