I've just sent this to my bank. Do you think they'll reply?
Problems with PPI
It was on a sunny morning
In balmy mid July
When I received a letter
Saying, “We might have mis-sold you PPI.”
“Would you like to make a claim?
It’s really very easy.
Just complete a simple form.
It won’t make you queasy.”
“Yes please.” I said
And checked the form.
T’was true it was mis-sold.
I filled it in and told my tale
Then waited for my gold
(Well money really but it didn’t rhyme)
Autumn brought a letter.
“You’re right, we owe you money,
Just sign this form and in eight weeks
You’ll be a happy bunny.”
So I signed the form and waited.
But when it came it brought forth tears
I had to share with my ex-husband
Who I hadn’t seen for seven years.
But, hey, it’s still a thousand plus
And so, without delay.
I left him a message
Cos he wasn’t in that day.
He phoned the bank
Confirmed their facts
And gave them information
They said, “That’s all we need to know,”
We waited in anticipation.
I planned a lovely Christmas.
A thousand pounds to spend
There’d be food and drink a plenty
The fun would never end.
But, oh my plans were scuppered.
I waited and I waited
No letter was forthcoming
I began to feel deflated.
November saw me phone the bank
To find the cause of the delays
Was told it was in the pipeline
And would be paid within 30 days.
The 30 days is up today.
And still there is no money.
No Christmas food.
No Christmas toys.
It really isn’t funny.
Now I’m told I have to wait.
There are more people in the queue
Than the bank can sort out easily
And they don’t know what to do.
(Well they do but it will take more time).
I’ve thought this over carefully.
And this is not in jest
We’ll call it an informal overdraft
You owe me charges and interest.
You would charge me £15
If I default a payment
Plus add on daily interest fees
Well, I’m no longer feeling patient.
I’ll bill you regularly each month
And when payment is due
Be careful that you don’t default
As extra charges will accrue.
I trust you’ll take this rhyme to heart
It’s really very simple
You’ve tried to change or break the rules
Isn’t that a sort of swindle?
I am a long term customer
I’ve really been quite loyal
I stayed true through every crisis
But now you’ve made me boil
If you don’t sort this problem out
Pretty soon, then well
I’ll contact the Banking Ombudsman
And raise up merry hell.
You’ve already spoilt my Christmas plans
Because you didn’t try
To follow your own guidelines
For repaying PPI
Now you’ve read my tale of woe
I’m sure you’ll do your best
To solve my current problem
With wit and speed and zest
If you don’t think this is possible
Without causing some unrest
Don’t forget I’ll be billing you
For charges and interest.
vampirequeen Fri 19-Dec-14 19:29:18
whenim64 Fri 19-Dec-14 19:42:56
FarNorth Fri 19-Dec-14 19:42:56
posie Fri 19-Dec-14 20:03:11
tiggypiro Fri 19-Dec-14 20:05:31
durhamjen Fri 19-Dec-14 20:10:18
merlotgran Fri 19-Dec-14 20:10:48
vampirequeen Fri 19-Dec-14 20:22:55
ninathenana Sat 20-Dec-14 10:02:11
MiniMouse Sat 20-Dec-14 11:27:40
Mishap Sat 20-Dec-14 11:32:57
loopylou Sat 20-Dec-14 11:41:44
petra Sun 21-Dec-14 09:50:46
vampirequeen Sun 21-Dec-14 13:47:21
durhamjen Sun 21-Dec-14 14:23:38
vampirequeen Sun 21-Dec-14 22:09:47
durhamjen Sun 21-Dec-14 22:13:22