Save ....with what

At what age Grandma2213 do you plan to 'celebrate death'?

It would have to be around 60, after your working life, if you plan on not saving, not being a burden to your children or relying on the state.

You say that you personally would choose this way - I bet you don't.

Can I introduce a controversial note here and suggest that the answer to an increasingly aging population could be voluntary euthanasia! Myself and several friends have discussed the concept of 'celebrating death' as described in Aldous Huxley's 'Brave New World'. We would love to float away on a 'soma' trip when we can no longer function physically or mentally. Then we could all live our lives free to do as we wished without worrying about saving money, becoming burdens to our children or relying on the state. Yes I know there will be lots of arguments against it but I personally would choose it as I'm sure many others would.

I'm no longer sure which "generation" I belong to Absent but I am one of those unfortunate people to be what some call the "sandwich" generation. I know I am very lucky to have my grandma (who will be 99 this year) still with me. At 53 I have a huge responsibility for her care and general welfare as she lives alone and is totally dependent on me and her carers. My mum (her only surviving child) is in her 70's but in far worse health than my grandma so totally unable to provide any care/ help whatsoever. I also have responsibilities towards my own 3 grandchildren for whom I provide 2-3 days care per week and I "work" 32 hours a week. I am under no illusion (and not would I ever expect) that my children would do the same. Why the hell should they? Infact if I'm honest I hope they don't! I hope that they are selfish and do what they want to do, when they want to do it .

Sorry didn't mean to rant.

Goodnight. Sorry.

When I was struggling to sort out my mother's care needs after her money ran out I almost envied friends and relatives whose parents died suddenly of strokes or heart attacks.

Somebody once said to me, 'The best thing you can do for your children is not break their hearts by dying too young or living too long.'

Our parents' generation assumed that they would provide extra help and even nursing care for their elderly relatives and many of our generation have done/are doing the same. With smaller families often widely dispersed geographically, the next generation may not be able to do so. Care homes may be the only option if independent living becomes impractical for some of us.

It also causes resentment from those who have worked and saved with a bit put by for their old age, I have been told more than once that its so unfair that having saved they are not entitled to anything and they don't want to sell their homes and some who have never worked nor saved get lots of help. It seems its a no win situation. My inlaws were quite 'comfortable' and used to rage at poorer pensioners getting even a tiny bit of help.

I think the poster who stated that only a small-ish proportion of the elderly need a care home is probably correct. From my family only one elderly person needed a care home and she was 92 before she went into one anyway.Many of them lived into their nineties and didn't need to be away from their own homes.
Not many of us are in the enviable position of having lots of spare cash for the future, but I see no harm [if we own our own homes] and need to live in a care/nursing home for the rest of our lives, in selling the house and a good chunk going towards our costs of the care, this is only fair.I'm sure it has been capped now at a certain point anyway.

DD is now 40 and her DH is 50. They both have "good" jobs. They have two children and live in a one and a half bedroom flat with no garden. some year's they manage to get a week's holiday. On their "good" salaries they are just about keeping their heads above water but saving for their old age really isn't an option. They could move to a cheaper area - but then where would they find work? They both work in pretty specialised fields and are caught in the same vicious circle as so many people, unable to afford to live where they work.

I am the same kiora, I work and just make ends meet, on sick at the minute but hopefully I can work till state retirement age. There is no spare cash to save. My house needs lots of stuff done to it too.
When I was younger, the banks encouraged everyone to have a mortgage, no one cared if you could afford it. Not just the payments which I have, with pride paid with no default, it was the repairs. No one told me that repairs were so expensive and the building regulations are going up in standard every year or so. My new fire and back boiler was top of the range 7 years ago, they gave me a letter saying the parts would be made for 20 years and as my old boiler was 35 years old I was happy. Now a certain famous gas company who were servicing it tell me it is out of date the regulations have changed, even though it has never broken down, it is obsolete. this is just to get money by buying another boiler. It happens again and again.
Why were we not encouraged to think about the cost of running a home before buying. I would have just stayed renting.
So asking us to save for old age is just ridiculous. I cant sell my home as I would have no where to go so I cant use the money from that.
Maybe those who are younger can start savings as they do pensions schemes but anyone over 50 is going to find it hard going.

I clicked onto the bbc news care website. Entered details which were requested and to be honest I did not have a clue what the results meant. They talked about a figure over 4years 7 months ????? £127000 ???? What the Council was responsible for and what we were responsible for.

We are fortunate in owning our own home with no mortgage. My DH is a fair bit older than me and not in good health. I must be saving the Social services and NHS a fortune with the care I give him. I do acknowledge that the District Nurse and follow up service from the hospital is excellent and in no way comes in for criticism.

There is no way my DH would be put into a Nursing Home. I just do not understand what all this is about.

I thought there was a law going through that would cap the amount people would have to pay towards care homes? At the moment it isn't worth saving more than £23,OOO because if you have that amount you don't qualify for any financial aid. I would like to downsize into a smaller house but my plan is to be able to rent this house out if I have to and cover nursing home fees with my small pension, although I doubt that is anywhere near enough to cover costs. Can anyone tell me what happens in Scotland where I believe nursing home costs are different [along with University fees etc]. I couldn't believe it, years ago when my dad had to go into a home [Alzheimers and doubly incontinent] and I was told he had to live with me; I assumed that there were council run nursing homes to cater for people in those circumstances. He did go into a private home and the fees were paid by the local authority but I was threatened by all sorts of legal action beore that happened as I had moved him closer to where I lived. I had no money to pay for his care, he didn't have a house to sell and the care home he was in [or so I realised later] didn't treat him well at all .

I can totally sympathise with you Kiora . We are not all in the position to be-able to save. I would dearly love to have enough left at the end of the week/month to put some away but I don't. I would like to take on a second job to bring in some more money but I have quite a few other responsibilities meaning that there are often not enough hours in the day as it is. I have already downsized quite a bit in order to keep our small business afloat, so don't even have property value to fall back on. We very rarely go out and almost never eat out either.

Like so many I ask what 'spare' cash?!
If only.......! I dread unexpected bills for car etc

From what I saw of the programme, the woman seemed to just assume that everyone had spare cash to save.

No - you cannot be forced to sell it but a legal charge is put on it which means the LA recoup the money from your estate after you die.

I did read something recently that stated you CANNOT be forced to sell your home to fund care.

And whilst I'm on my high horse I wish the experts would stop telling us that we can make cheap meals if we cook from scratch. Well I cook from scratch and I defy any chef to make mince stretch as far as I can. I still find there is more month than money.

None of the experts ever think that saving is a luxury that many of us can't afford even though we'd love to. It must be wonderful to have money to fall back on if the car breaks down or you get an unexpected bill. I don't envy people who can save I just wish that sometimes they'd realise how lucky they are to have spare cash at the end of the month.

Yes - some policies and exhortations from politicians are laughable to those in the real world. We are lucky to have some savings from downsizing and parents dying, but it's nothing to write home about, and many could not even consider saving.

Its about time these financial geniuses came up with some new models of funding and providing care for older people starting with maximising independence and mobility, moving through active management of social and health problems and thus designing a range of care options according to need and preference.

I agree with Soontobe, care in old age has become a hyped up topic.

Sorry for your awful day, Kiora.

Fortunately, no one in my or DHs family has ever had need of a care home, so I don't know much about them.

I hope we both live in our own home until it's time to go! Our relatives also lived without any external care agencies, apart from Great Gran who at 93 allowed a home help in! Unfortunately, she had a heart attack a month later.

I do know of someone, who decided at the age of 75 she wanted to go to residential care. This was despite having her own home, good neighbours and being physically and mentally well. She chose one 40 mins away from her friends, purely on its exclusive and expensive reputation. She was lonely and lasted 18 months, sadly passing away after a fall.

I hope we can all enjoy life in the here and now. x

I'm sure the experts do realise that Nina and all I said was this is a good idea. I'm also sure there are some who can afford to save and don't bother but spend it on living life to the full and expect to be kept, free of charge, when their lifestyle catches up with them.

But don't take me too seriously please as I'm just being an old cynic as I know someone like this and it's twisting my viewpoint.

Peace.

Anya I don't think anyone is advocating that those who can afford it shouldn't bother.

The OP was just pointing out that there are plenty who's circumstances mean they can't and the so called experts should realise that.

Commiserations kiora some people have no concept of other's lives and circumstances. You would feel "pig sick" from beyond the grave if you saved and saves to the detriment of all other aspects of living ant then got run over by the proverbial bus ,in full health at 70. Joking aside we should make whatever provision we are able for later life, being sensibly about it.

What's wrong with those who can saving for their old age?

It's a good basic philosophy and means that The State can then target it's resources on those who couldn't or wouldn't.