DH has put his foot in it !

You should have said "Good you won't get hungry when I change the locks".

I'm sure he meant 'curvacious' Nankate.

My daughter told me the other day that she saw a woman who now works in the pharmacy near us and who apparently knows me from school - she recognised my daughter. Trying to place this woman I asked DD what she looks like. Came the reply "Well just like you, really - short and a bit dumpy with grey hair." I said "Seriously?!" She replied "Yes, Mom, seriously". And then had to move fast ...

NanKate .

They really know how to make you feel good, don't they!

We chat to the very nice check out lady when doing our weekly supermarket shop. On Thursday she was telling us about the big roast dinner she'd cooked for her family the evening before, including Yorkshire Puddings.

"Oh I like Yorkshire Puddings" piped up DH, "that's why I married one".

Exit stage left chased by an unamused moi!

Exit stage left, chased by bear, Oh sorry that was David Tennant in 'Just a minute'

Just read this out to DBH, who is sitting there chortling away and says that he is taking the fifth.

My DD met someone a while back who had known me when I was in my 20s. This person asked DD 'How is your mum? She was a tiny little thing with big blue eyes'. To which my DD replied 'Well she's still got the big blue eyes'. Cheeky madam.

When I was convalescing after a hysterectomy people would ask DH how I was getting on but DH seemed to have a problem with knowing what to say. I kept telling him it was no big deal. Lots of women have hysterectomies so just say it like it is.

However, I wasn't expecting to be introduced to our new vicar as,

'This is my wife....she's just had all her bits removed!'

There was a comedian who used to say,out of the corner of his mouth and more mouthing the words "she's had it all taken away" and then hoist his bosom up to his chin.

My mum, or Mrs Bucket, was talking to our vicar when he called in one day. Out came the best tea service etc but she spoiled her 'good' impression by saying 'Oh my Lord' in reply to something he said. Realising she'd said the wrong thing she said 'Oh, my God, I'm sorry!', then 'Hells Bells!'. I had to leave the room before I disgraced myself and the lovely, young vicar looked fit to burst too!!

Les Dawson, annsixty. That's exactly what I called DH.

I met my cousin a couple of years ago from my dad's side of the family,we had not seen each other since before we moved abroad she smiled said "hello how are you" the proceeded to say "you have certainly taken after your mums side of the family I could tell it was you from behind" how to make up for not seeing someone for years was beyond me !!

Flickety said in a Scottish accent.

jane

When bumping into people my mum and grandma used to know when I was a kid they used to comment "she looks like a farmer's daughter". Charming.

We are researching our family and found a photo of Aunt Evelyn. It then popped into my mind my mother's words to me many years ago 'you are just like your Aunt Evelyn flat-footed'.

Looking round a car showroom some years ago the salesman recognized me from my school days(left at 15) I must have been in my mid 40s at the time.

His comment was you do look old!!!

This was from a man I didn't even recognize and no George Clooney, I was too much of a lady to make any comment and just walked out of the showroom.

Definitely not the thing to say if you want someone to buy a car.