... to think that it is wrong that pregnancy is nowadays too often considered an illness?

Did anyone see the programme on BBC2 last night with 4 mums-to-be.
One a selective ceaserian, one a self birth with no assistance at all DIY, and two home Lotus births, one of whom turned the placenta into a smoothy.
I wasn't really sure what to think, there is 7 years between each of my children so i saw a lot of fads.
To be honest i just thought they were letting what THEY kept calling a natural experience to completely take over their lives.
I felt really sorry for the Fathers and the other children, kept muttering 'get over yourself', I doubt if you are about to birth the next Messiah.
Just my point of view, shoot me down if you want to, Women give birth every minute all over the world, they just get on with it!!

You said
the only women I have heard of having elective caesareans are in the media or high flying business women etc

I know what granjura said and her subsequent posts made that clear.
#justsaying.

Love felice's comment!

And in reply to phoenix's question...?

In the factory where I used to work, every time a young woman became pregnant, it seemed to set off a signal for being off work ill. I know that some pregnancies don`t go well, but all of them? Once they became pregnant, they were hardly ever at work.

With my first baby I was sick for nine months and had horrible sciatica for the last three months, I gave up work 10 weeks before the birth because I was a nurse and I wasn't coping with the long hours. DIL worked until two weeks before birth of both GDs but she did have a desk job and drove to and from work.

My DiL was determined her pregnancies weren't going to stop her doing anything. I was so worried about some of her gym classes that I joined her gym in the pretext I wanted to get fit and asked her to mentor me by taking me to her classes.

Body pump, body balance, some kind of kick boxing aerobics class, yoga (ever seen a very pregnant downword dig?) etc. it nearly killed me. DiL was fine

Downward dog!

I have answered phoenix's question, to her.

Don't see the necessity or desirability of going into personal medical detail on a public forum.

I worked up to around a month before. I used to feel a bit nauseous in the evenings and my first pregnancy was the only time ever that I nearly fainted. It was all too good to be true - both labours were awful.

My son's partner worked until about 2 weeks before both pregnancies and looked and felt 100% healthy throughout - didn't even get tired or slightly nauseous in the first few weeks.

I noticed a pregnant lady at Zumba the other night - and it is a very energetic class.

janer and rose I too had symphysis pubic dysfunction (SPD) (sounds like some sort of orchestra) where the ligaments in the pubic bone become too soft and separate causing pain and difficulty walking. It was agony. I couldn't even put my slippers on. I got given a belt to support my hefty son inside me but it was of no use really. That was pregnancy no 2. I had the SPD from about 23 weeks until birth at 39 weeks.

I wasn't working anyway with this pregnancy as I was a stay at home mum. Good job as I got pulmonary oedema and PND after my DS. Fun eh?

With my first pregnancy I worked up to 25 weeks, morning sickness from wk 7 to 14 but still worked. At 25 weeks I was admitted to hospital with pre eclampsia and remained in until birth at 37 weeks, although the French sister on duty did have me cleaning out the fish tank. I think I was a team member by the time I got home! It was ok for a first child although it did put me off having any more for a while as I was scared of it happening again and not having anyone to look after my DD. As it happened, apart from the SPD I sailed through the second pregnancy until after the birth. But then I did deliver my son in 57 minutes, from start to finish.

felice I did watch that programme. I had to fast forward the eating the placenta bit though. Totally put me off my black cherry yoghurt!

The one I would have done is the boat lady one, although the pow wow with the mates was a bit strange, I'd not do that bit.

I suppose it takes all sorts but they were extreme cases which is normal for tele these days. They do like to show the opposite ends of society, be it council tenants or rich people.

You are right, the husbands didn't really get a look in and the children looked very shocked by what was going on with the baby and it's placenta handbag. (?????) Wierd.

I just found this

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/02/25/pregnant-dads-mothers-day_n_6752172.html?1424886111&ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000067

I know it's not a new thing, but it really brought back to me how scared I was once when I got in the bath one day when I was alone in the house, and then found I couldn't get back up again!

Yes, with DS my life carried on perfectly as normal, I went to a school science presentation at DD's school the night before I gave birth and her teachers all told me afterwards that they were petrified that I might have the baby at school!

Soutra we are anonymous on here, why not go into personal medical detail? When I wanted to find out about menopausal problems, it was precisely that way of thinking that made it so hard for me to find out whether some of my symptom were normal or not.

And so, when I was given iron and folic acid tablets with DD, I thought I was seriously ill when I saw what effect they had on me! Even the people who gave them to me didn't warn me!

I too was having to hump around hay when pregnant with DD, even though I felt seriously ill. We just got on with it. I have no idea now how I managed it. I remember thinking, how the hell was I ever going to manage to trim the pony's hooves, I couldn't bend down to do up my shoes let alone pick up his feet, but luckily he was in an obliging mood.

I think people forget over the years just how hard it is to be pregnant. The knocks on tables edges that make you feel sick to your core. Constantly misjudging distances, being constantly tired, knowing you are waddling, swollen feet and fingers, wearing the same clothes for months and crying when you still have to put them on at first afterwards, discovering what you can and cannot eat. It was very interesting to have experience of both extremes of pregnancy situations, it has made me far more sympathetic to pregnant women.

And let's not forget having to get up to go to the loo half a dozen times some nights.

But I can see why some bosses are so unsympathetic - they are mainly men who have no understanding, unless they have wives who have suffered. That alone is enough to drive women to want to leave work early, if they can. As for electing to have a caesarean - although it is surgery, the body recovers more quickly than after a normal birth, in many cases, which means that women can get back to work faster and feeling less tired. There are so many more women in highly-paid jobs now, who cannot afford to have someone else try to steal their jobs while they are on maternity leave. I read about one woman who had to hide her pregnancy as a fashion designer for a big fashion house, she knew she would lose her job by underhanded means if it was discovered. She manged to disguise it by wearing loose flowing garments, which were very fashionable as the 'lagenlook' at the time, and then booked her caesarean in her holiday leave. She was a single parent and felt that in such a misogynistic field, she had no other choice.

My daughters have had far less preparation and care when pregnant than I did 40 years ago. Ante natal checks are minimal and classes reduced to 1 or 2. My daughters worked right up until labour began, left hospital within hours and got no help with breast feeding.
New parents are left to muddle through without any help, usually far from even their own mums.Thank God for Mumsnet, I so wish it had been around for me, but I did get adequate care for my babies and me before and after birth.

Obviously women have different experiences of pregnancy and I am quite prepared to believe that for some it is nine months of purgatory. I have never felt so well or looked so well as I did when pregnant. The only tricky bits – apart from the birth itself – were slight morning sickness (in the evenings) at the very beginning and some discomfort and indigestion in the last couple of weeks. Absentdaughter was quite a big baby.

It is always was a hard thing to be pregnant. My wife had problems with it and we had to take this medicine - www.proinfomed.com/drug/clomid - glad that all became good.

Sailed through first two pregnancies. Worked up to 30 odd weeks with first 12 hour nights in a special care baby unit. Was stay at home mum for babies 2 and 3. Third pregnancy was a nightmare constant sickness until I was 7 months pregnant then just constant nausea! Couldn't walk because of the stretched pubic muscles described by others on here, SO tired didn't know what to do with myself and looking after a 7 year old and a 4 year old who I had to get to school and nursery every day. Husband at the time was working abroad so had to manage. Oh and had post partum haemorrhage at home with baby no 2 , luckily wasn't on my own that day. So I think all pregnancies are different but in normal circumstances no they are not an illness.

So absolutely agree that some pregnancies, or part of, have always been very difficult for some women, and some pregnancies and not others.

My point was that it seems that so many young women now, start to consider pregnancy as an 'ordeal' or a form of sickness right from the start. This is not a criticism, I just find it sad, really. I agree that I was lucky, like Absent, to feel absolutely great when beign pregnant, and able to work almost right to the end.

When I was working one of the secretaries said that she was first pregnant when working in a big typing pool. She told her boss and he moved her to a small room away from the others "in case they get the same idea"
That would be in the 1970s.

We had a 'baby chair' in one office - everyone who sat in it got pregnant. I think maybe it was because that particular job was so boring that babies seemed preferable!

soutra we are anonymous on here, why not go into personal medical detail? (26 Feb)

Sorry janerowena, I was not ignoring your question, just hadn't spotted it. I suppose my answer is just that I don't choose to. Nothing to stop anybody else, but I have never been particularly interested in other people's medical details, gynaecological or otherwise, so I never expect to share my own! However I would question the comment that one's body returns to normal sooner after a C section than a vaginal birth!! The simple in ability to lift or drive within those first weeks is far from normal. Try getting a stroppy toddler into to a car seat or a carrycot up to a first floor flat after a section.

Absolutely- first was by emergency Ceasarian (transversal breech) and second 'normal' - second was far far easier and quicker to recover. I never get that argument.

I had to go on maternity leave at 29 weeks. There was no question of me working any further into the pregnancy. To be honest I think my boss was terrified I might give birth in the office lol. But I didn't think it was wrong either. Everyone I knew stopped work at 29 weeks. They held my job open but we all knew I wasn't going back. I was a full time mum and loved it.

I wish young girls would take better care of themselves these days. I hate the way they work up to the last minute and don't rest after the delivery. Having a baby isn't an illness but it is an extra strain on the body.

When I had my DDs a mother wasn't allowed to leave the house for 10 days and usually someone (a female family member) came to look after them and the house. I railed against the enforced imprisonment but, looking back, all I had to do for 10 days was rest, look after and bond with my baby.

I also think the enforced imprisonment was better for the baby. It must be a shock to the baby's system to suddenly be thrust out of the warm dark womb into a world of glaring light, noise and germs. I gringe when I see babies who are only a few hours old surrounded by the little germ factories known as children in the school playground.