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AIBU

To expect my DD to ring me regularly?

(61 Posts)
soontobe Mon 02-Mar-15 21:42:34

I dont let any of my kids go more than 2 weeks without any contact at all. None of them live locally at all. I want to know that they are alive. Also, one of them can start going into himself a bit if he goes more than two weeks without checking in.
Just a few words in an email is sufficient.

soontobe Mon 02-Mar-15 21:38:44

Jennypops, there is also emails, and whatsapp [not quite sure how that works]
How does she talk to her friends?

chloe1984 Mon 02-Mar-15 21:25:16

I too have a DD who will never ring just to chat , she only answers emails when and if it suits her and as for texts she never replies. Do I find it hurtful yes I do, have I come to terms with it, only after a lot of heart searching. I know she loves us and we love her.I have never discussed the situation with her as I am not one for confrontation. It makes me sad but "it is what it is" why it should be so I don't know but don't really expect her to change now.

Tresco Mon 02-Mar-15 21:16:17

You say you feel she would ignore your texts. Why do you feel that? Has she ignored them in the past? I can easily go a month or more without a communication from one or all of my children. Of course, I'd like to hear from them more often, but I appreciate they have busy lives. I know they love me and would be there for me in an emergency.

absent Mon 02-Mar-15 21:14:36

Is she a chatty kind of person or does she phone you when she has something particular to talk about? Any social activity, such as chatting on the phone, is no pleasure if it becomes a duty.

tanith Mon 02-Mar-15 21:14:28

I've had to accept that my son isn't good at contact with family, he lives abroad and has a partner and new son and his partner is better at keeping me in touch with my newest Grandson than he is. It hurts a lot but its the way he is and I have had to learn not to get upset..

He never rings just to chat there is always a reason for the call , he rang for the first time since Christmas Day on Saturday to tell me that he and his family may be able to come to the UK for a few days at Easter. Great news for myself and his sisters who feel equally ignored by him.
If I ring him I feel like I am interrupting something and he isn't easy to get chatting so I tend not to ring but send him messages on Facebook to which he may or may not reply.. He is happy for us to visit anytime but thats not always easy.

There are lots of things I'd like to discuss with him and lots goes on that he knows nothing about but I figure if he was interested he'd ask but he doesn't so I have to accept that he is happy to keep his family at a distance..

Its not easy but I think you can either explain to her how it hurts you or accept that family at a distance is how she wants it.

Jennypops Mon 02-Mar-15 21:10:46

No she isn't on Facebook and I feel she would ignore my texts.

soontobe Mon 02-Mar-15 21:06:31

Yes, find out which is her favourite way of communicating with people.

merlotgran Mon 02-Mar-15 21:04:01

Is she on facebook? It's a great way to stay in touch with family.

Ana Mon 02-Mar-15 21:00:33

My DD and I find texting is the best way of keeping in touch. That way neither of you has to worry about it being an inconvenient time, or feeling under any pressure to respond immediately.

A month is a long time though - I would feel hurt as well! flowers

Jennypops Mon 02-Mar-15 20:56:50

I am feeling very upset as my DD does not phone me very often. I think the last time was over a month ago ,since when I have had cataract surgery she doesn't know about and am still recovering from breaking my leg at Christmas. I don't always want to be the one to phone first. How can I deal with this or should I just accept it, she lives about a two hour journey away and we don't se her or two DGC often.