Thanks for the comments so far. Perhaps I need to clarify about DD's husband and their relationship. He is not a bad person and a good dad but a truly awful husband. He left her when she was 6 months pregnant with their little boy and changed his phone number. Went back to mummy and reverted to teenage lifestyle of drinking, taking drugs, sleeping around and gambling (he has a bit of a gambling problem). He was 28! He came back and forward, leaving again at the least opportunity. She was so distressed and at one point suicidal.
It took her about 2 years to get back on track .... And then he came back seeming to have matured. However, they were having dreadful arguments where he was verbally abusive after about a year. He would never give her any money. She paid for everything... Mortgage, food, utilities, children. She had started her own business and was working extremely hard. He helped with the child care but started to complain and finally came out with the statement that she was a bad mother because she wasn't there all the time for the children.
She turned to the other man who was a friend and unfortunately they got a bit close.
During all this time (5 years and breast cancer treatment for me) I have wiped her tears, sat up with her all night talking her through things, looked after her children. I have also tried being supportive to her husband and despite everything feel a bit sorry for him. But he is gambling again and made it very clear that he will NOT come back.
So as with everything, things are not simple. This was a toxic relationship and they were tearing each other apart. My daughter never really forgave her husband for what he had put her through and finally decided to end things and go with the other man after a lot of talking things through with both my DH and myself. We didn't take sides but I did make it clear that this must be her decision and she would have to deal with the consequences. Her backtracking has come out of the blue!
Frankly, I am worn out with it all! I know what you mean Ana, but it wasn't dislike I was voicing nor was I getting angry (she is the angry one) but an attempt to help her face the reality of the situation.