Help!

Hi Waspy
You certainly have a lot on there. For the disabled wife and very elderly MIL you might be best to contact carers.co.uk or carers.org. For bringing up the granddaughter you could contact kinshipcarers.co. uk. Or since I am a bit lacking technically speaking perhaps google them.
You are also entitled to be here - you are a grandparent!
Wishing you all the very best
Sugarpufffairy

It would seem you need practical support more than moral support. How exactly do you manage to do 12 hour shifts and look after a disabled wife, an elderly mother and a 3 year old?

Anyone would be feeling stretched in your position.

Yes, organisations and charities could help.

Hope there are some gransnetters who can give you the moral and practical support.

There are some people on here who know about Kinship care issues.
Has the grandchild been placed with you by childrens services?

It is likely that other more informed posters will be along soon.

I'm not surprised you're feeling stretched - I can't begin to imagine how you're keeping all the balls in the air.
I'm sorry I can't give you any advice beyond what has already been said, but as Nelliemoser has said, you can be sure that there will be some very practical help and advice on this thread soon.
Welcome to Gransnet

Are you getting all the benefits to which you are entitled? - try CAB.
And all the help with caring? - try social services.

It wounds as if you are doing a super-human job there abd you have all my sympathy.

I know about kinship care from a social work perspective Waspy. As nellie says, a crucial point is whether or not children's services were involved in placing your granddaughter with you. If they were, or if there were concerns that meant your granddaughter might have had to be taken into care if you hadn't stepped in, you are entitled to a full package of support from them. If they weren't and this is a completely private arrangement, then you have fewer rights.

The kinshipcarers.co.uk website is a good one, and through it you may have found your way to grandparents plus (if you weren't already aware of this) which is an organisation that can offer support and legal advice.

www.grandparentsplus.org.uk

There are others on here who have a lot of experience from your side of the fence and who have had to negotiate the complex systems for themselves. I hope someone with that knowledge will come along soon to give you their perspective.