Bottle feeding mothers

I had my daughter in an American military hospital in 1971 and breastfeeding rates among American mothers were very low at that time. They seemed to be actively encouraged to put their babies onto formula from the get-go. After the difficulties I had had with breastfeeding my son, I had already made the decision not to breastfeeding my daughter but had I not, I felt it would have been frowned upon. Babies were taken to the nursery and fed during the night to allow mothers to sleep!

I was unable to BF my child when she was born in 1978. I had lost so much fluid I was on a drip for nearly 48 hours, during which time she was taken to the Prem Unit as she was 5 weeks early. By the time I was able to try and BF, she had been bottle fed by the nurses in the unit, and she was unable to make the change to BF. The nurses laughed and said that she was "lazy" to try to latch on. As a result I felt like an unfit mother and it took a few months for me to feel the maternal bond which i believe BF mothers achieve.
My daughter and I are close now, but I often think how different it might have been in her early years. I could have been put in a wheelchair and taken to her; I could have been encouraged to express milk which could be given to her. But back in 1978 it seemed to be "make life easy for the nurses".

I very rarely had to give my babies night feeds, I can count on one hand the number of times I had to get up. I had a routine which included feeding baby as late as possible before I went to bed, usually about midnight, and they usually slept through to 6 or 6.30.
GD1 was only 6lb 6ozs and wasn't getting the nourishment she needed when in hospital, I was furious as the midwives allowed her to get to the state where she was shaking and almost in hypo. They eventually gave in and allowed her to have a bottle.
Spock was very much in fashion when I had my first in 1969, I read the book and followed some of his ideas but mainly developed my own routine which worked very well.

I think the most important thing is for those who would like to breast feed to receive the support they need. I think many new mums would like to breast feed - and even start doing so - but often give up because they experience problems.

I tried to breast feed my first baby but only managed for a couple of months. I was given all sorts of conflicting information, including replacing some feeds with a bottle - which actually meant that I produced less and less milk. It was a very stressful time and when I eventually gave up and bought what was then marketed as the very best formula milk, my daughter became very constiped and I had to change the milk again.

When I had my son seven years later, I had no problems at all breast feeding and did so for a year. I think it was mostly because I was much more relaxed but also because I had a lot more support in the hospital and at home.

I don't think women should be subjected to any sort of disapproval - whether they are breast or bottle feeding - but I do think breast feeding confers advantages that formula milk just cannot. I don't believe hospitals are now allowed to provide new mums with formula milk samples but when I was in hospital it was the norm - so the marketing pressure has always been there and probably exists in much subtler forms nowadays. Now there is a big drive to get parents to buy "follow on" milks which, according to nutritional experts, are unnecessary and not particularly healthy.

ps Jacky - mine were born in the 60s and I had a copy of Dr. Spock, but he had gone out of fashion by then, and it was all feeding on demand.

I thought of another advantage of breast feeding - night-time feeds.
I suppose I was lucky to be able to feed mine myself, and don't blame mothers who bottle feed.
But those first few months, when you never get a night's sleep without being woken to feed, sometimes more than once. To have to get up, prepare the milk, clean the bottles would make it 10 times worse. And instead just reach over for the baby and "bung him/her on the boob" Instant peace and quiet.

Me again, sorry. I just wanted to add that in the 50s, when my mother had me, pre- Dr Spock, mothers were expected to feed, change and wash their babies by the clock. After two weeks, my mother was told to bottle feed me because I "wasn't getting enough milk". Not surprising at 10 minutes either way every 4 hours with stopwatch practically in hand!

First-born in 1982: The midwife acted as though she would support me with breast-feeding, but when it came to it, I saw neither her nor anyone else who told me what to do for at least three days. I was in hospital for 10 days after the birth because I had had a general anaesthetic and ventouse. I was told (I repeat TOLD) not to breast feed, although I would have been quite happy to.

I hadn't read anything in advance, and wasn't aware of the advantages or anything, but I did want to breast feed. But because of this, DS No. 1 was bottle fed, and my blouses and dresses were always soaking wet at the front with the milk I was losing.

Second-born 1983: I wasn't going to be put off again. All my babies had a very soft stool (bottle and breast), and the doctor told me at 10 months to stop breast-feeding because this would be the cause of the "diarrhoea". I stopped completely and abruptly (although I was still feeding 2-3 times a day). I'm sure No 2 has a couple of issues to this day because of that sudden and brutal cut-off.

No 3 I breast-fed for 19 months until he wasn't interested any more. By now I had learned that instincts rule and not to listen to anyone's advice.

So, on the basis of my own experience, if I see someone bottle-feeding, I do not condemn them for it, but I wonder if they believed something they had been told by the midwife or someone else with medical clout, and whether it really was their best choice.

What I do object to is when people claim that bottle-feeding is less hassle. How can anyone come to that conclusion? The expense, the faff of cleaning, sterlilising, measuring out, the clutter you have to tote around. You need two hands to feed the baby, whereas with breast-fed you have a hand free to read a book with the toddler, or to eat or drink a little something. And, and, and.....

I bottle fed both mine - tried breast feeding the first but we both got very stressed so I gave up. They have both been healthy children and are both healthy adults. DD tried breast feeding but as with many new mothers it did not go well. She stuck at it for ten weeks and then had a huge guilt trip about going over to the bottle which made her very unhappy for a while. I think the mother's temperament has a good deal to do with whether she will be a successful breast feeder.

We are very lucky to live at a time when infant formula has been developed that enables babies to thrive and develop as well as those that are breastfed. Of course babies who are bottle fed will grow up to be healthy when in the past they may have struggled to survive on the alternatives available. I do not think mothers who bottle feed for any reason need to feel guilty in any way. That doesn't mean that breast milk is not the ideal; of course it is, just as cows' milk is best for calves, mares' milk is best for foals, bitches' milk is best for puppies etc etc, and more should be done to support new mothers with breastfeeding.

All that said, there has always been pressure and disapproval about the way babies are fed. When I had my children in the 1980s there was definitely pressure to breastfeed and disapproval from some quarters towards those who bottle fed. This was the era of the NCT and LaLeche League. Before that, from the 1950s onwards I believe mothers were pressurised into bottle feeding; as someone said earlier this initially had a lot to do with getting mothers back to work. So I don't think the pressures today are new, but what is different is the rise of social media. Young people now are bombarded with messages that say everyone else has the perfect body, perfect family, perfect baby, perfect partner, perfect home, perfect holidays, perfect everything. I think this is where the difference lies and it takes a strong woman (or man) to remain unaffected by it.

I bottle fed both of my children, and they are happy, healthy slim adults. I wanted to breastfeed, and tried so hard both times. I don't know why I failed!! However I was lucky to have my children in the 80's when bottle feeding was not frowned upon as it is today.

I agree grannyonce, mothers who had mastectomies for cancer, those on certain medications like antidepressants, some antibiotics etc have no choice either.

Rather a contented baby and a relaxed mother than a situation that's detrimental to the whole family.

yes it is bullying and it is not just new mothers who feel guilty - us old mothers who never had a chance to breastfeed still carry the guilt (as mothers) - 40 years on.
and loopylou some mothers do not have 'a choice' so it is not their choosing to have to use a bottle

I'm definitely not accusing you of bullying jingl

New mums have a hard enough time adjusting to motherhood without being judged, made to feel inadequate and being accused of not doing the best for their baby when not choosing breastfeeding, for whatever reason.

If breastfeeding goes well then great, if it doesn't then perhaps some people think the baby should be left to starve? Ridiculous!

Yes jingl, depending on what the meal was. There are ready-meals and there is crap.

So, would the people seeing formula milk as being as good as breast milk, be happy to feed an older child on ready-meals?

I am perfectly happy for those who want to, to breast feed their babies.
And if they want to flaunt it, that's okay as well.

So long as they don't turn into moralising smug opinionated persons trying to tell the rest of us what to do!

absent, you're right of course, formula is usually made from cow's milk.

I apologise to apricot for my uninformed comment.

Well, perhaps loopylou would explain just what she means then?

No one's accusing you of bullying, jingl. I do think that the Breast is Best lobby could be, though, especially the more militant element!

Ana While baby formula is not simply cows' milk, it is most commonly made from cow's milk. Goats' milk and soy protein brands are available but less common and I think there are also some specialist types for babies with problems digesting proteins and other health issues.

I believe that breast feeding is more beneficial – to both baby and mother – than bottle feeding. Consequently I breastfed my daughter. Even after five C-section births, she has breastfed all her children, although for a shorter time than I did. I wouldn't dream of criticising her for that as it is her decision.

If I were asked whether I thought breastfeeding is better than bottle feeding, I would give an honest opinion without any suggestion of aggression or bullying. Otherwise, I would keep my mouth shut.

Breastfeeding is grand when it works smoothly. But what about the mother that is persuaded that to not do so makes her child a fat sickly dunderheed? They get totally stressed out which makes baby stressed which in turn stresses mum more, and they feel that they can't give up and put baby on a bottle as it is almost child abuse ( smoke filled room indeed!).
What about the benefits to dad/baby bonding, the fact that night feeds can be taken in turn so mum isn't exhausted?

Feeding your baby your own way is the right way.

So, can we not come on a thread and express an opinion, without others getting angry and accusing us (me) of bullying?

Hear hear loopylou...well said.

I had my first lad in 1973...tried to feed him myself and it was agony and I cried and cried..the staff nurse made me feel so guilty and useless..it was awful....bottle feeding was not the "done" thing....I stuck breast feeding for four weeks...he wasn't getting enough from me and so my health visitor said "put him on the bottle..blow the midwife " so I did and never looked back.
When I had son number 2 I didn't even try to feed him he went straight on the bottle..and as others have said before...both boys were fine...not a bit sickly and have grown into good strapping lads.

The guilt I was made to feel was appalling.

I gave up breastfeeding DD after a couple of months because my health visitor (who had never even had a baby) was no help at all. I settled much better with DS and fed him till he was nearly a year old. At that point he decided that milk was much easier out of a cup and didn't want to know anymore! Healthwise I don't think it's made any difference to them.

DD fed her first one for about 6 months. Her second one is two and a half and still having a feed if he can wangle it. She used to take all her gear to work and express milk during the day. DiL wanted to breastfeed but had a c section and a lot of problems so went on to bottles. Her baby seems just as fit and well - and bright - as DD's.