Bottle feeding mothers

I started to breastfeed my first two. With the first I struggled in hospital (the Simpson) but hoped it would all go better when I got home (after a week in those days). It didn't. After another week or so I reached breaking point late one evening. I had bought a bottle for emergencies. I had no formula, so I watered down some cows milk and boiled it and cooled it. She took to it like a duck to water and we both slept better than we had since she was born. Next day we took a trip to buy formula, and never looked back.

With the second I was home in a couple of days. they were keen on breastfeeding in hospital, so I had started, but this time I didn't persist for as long before switching to the bottle. I had a toddler to cope with as well as a new baby.

With my third, I had made up my mind before the birth that he would be a bottle babe too. The Queen Mary maternity hospital was a bit more upmarket than the Simpson - ("amenity beds" for £1.50 a night) and their policy in was to take the babies into the nursery at night so that the mothers could sleep. They were brought back for feeds if they were on the breast, but not if they were bottle-fed. So I had a week of uninterrupted sleep before I took him home!

By then DS had been sleeping longer and longer before waking and wanting fed. The night before we went home, he didn't wake from 11 pm to 6 am - and that continued. I never did a feed for him in the middle of the night.

So - breastfeeding was twice utterly exhausting and stressful. Bottle feeding was a pleasure. All three were fit and healthy children, and are fit and healthy adults. The two girls have both breastfed their own children, their decision, I did not influence them one way or the other.

familyjuggling it sounds as though you were at the end of your tether. Please don't feel put out that you did not breast feed your children for long.

It may be true that, under optimun conditions, breast is best but bottle feeding is perfectly adequate and the best thing under some circumstances.

I did not breast feed my girls but I've done loads of other good things for my family in the Forty-eight years since then .

Health visitors and midwives just can't win, can they? With a large % of mums saying they are being pushed to BF, and another large % of mums saying they are not given enough support to BF. So what are they supposed to do?

It is not an easy one- but the research is clear that BF is best- even if for a a short period of time- and possible with the right support for the vast majority of women. It is very rare that a woman is not able to BF or does not have enough milk, VERY rare indeed. And as said above, it is so much easier, no bottles, no sterilisation- on tap all the time- no getting up at night, no fuss when travelling- and at the same time best for the child.

But yes, a choice- but not an easy one to understand at times with all the evidence available shows that BF is best.

Not easy for my first one after an emergency Csection- as it hurts a lot due to BF encouraging contraction of uterus and all surrounding areas- but it got me very fit and slim very quickly, and the pain went after a few days. The second one was a doddle- both went straight to a cup at 8 months, with just a morning and evening feed which just slowly and naturally were phased out. Brilliant.

I am a mother with two small kids (I browse here for perspective as I struggle with relationships with my mum and MIL) both bottle fed. I found with "my" midwives they put a lot more emphasis on telling you to breastfeed than helping you to breastfeed. I had PND with my first and the breastfeeding just exhausted me and made me resent him. I had a midwife I had never even met before tell me "if you give up breastfeeding I will be SO disappointed in you". Like I needed that when I spent half the day sobbing my heart out! Then of course she wanted to examine my stitches - how are you supposed to feel comfortable having your vulva prodded by someone who just made you feel like dirt? I wouldn't let her, of course. Thank god there were no problems!

With my second I breastfed in the hospital, but ran into the same latching problems again but was told it was all fine. This time I had no qualms giving him a bottle as soon as I was home. I had a one year old to run after, and my fiancé had to go back to work the next day so I didn't feel I had the mental space to try and establish breastfeeding. Luckily I didn't get the same nasty midwife, and the one I did have was lovely and understanding. I wish I'd taken a leaf out of SIL's book and shown the nasty one the door (though apparently that was over nappy rash cream).

I think it's best for a baby to have a mother who loves him and doesn't feel depressed and resentful.

And some of those who really couldn't care less whether a baby is bottle or breastfed, so long as they don't have to get up through the night to do it, will follow what seems to be a trend and start criticising mothers too.

There is a lot on that Facebook page from bottle-feeding mothers who feelthat they have been "bressured" about breast-feeding and deplore the fashion for "brelfie" online photos of blissful babies and their smug-looking mums. In the left column is a post from someone who thinks Channel Mums have gone over the top.

Good detective work Elegran
It's amazing how papers like the Daily Mail, even the Times, get hold of a small piece of "research" and make it out to be a universal truth. And many people believe it!

Win AN i-Pad, not our i-Pad.

Found out from posts on 27th and 28th April on the Facebook page for Channelmums ("do our short survey on baby feeding for a chance to win our I-pad") that it was on Surveymonkey. I couldn't go to the actual survey as it is now closed and Surveymonkey referred any questions to Channelmums.

It sounds to me like the "survey", or at least the claims made as a result of it, are to be taken with a pinch of salt.

I can imagine one of the questions now: "Have people around you ever expressed the opinion that it is better to breastfeed?"
It would be nearly impossible to go through pregnancy without someone saying that to you that breast-feeding is best (along with all the other advice that we all like to share with mums-to-be with the best of intentions), so the honest answer to that would be "yes" for most new mums or mums-to-be, wouldn't it? Then the survey might conclude that all of those women have been put under pressure, or worse, when that simply isn't the case.

Ok, that's just my take on it, and I could be way off the mark, but the claims being made sound totally unrealistic to me.

There is a video on the Channelmums page in my link above, where a lot of different mothers talk about their experiences. It is worth watching, because it echoes a lot of things said on here, by people who did or did not continue.

NOWHERE is there any mention of mothers who bottle-feed getting more abuse than those who breastfeed, yet articles like this one say that -

"The survey commissioned by Channel Mum found that more than two thirds of those who have bottle-fed have been made to feel inadequate as mothers thanks to negative comments from those around them and even strangers. Some new mothers claim they are breastfeeding just to avoid the criticism."

I can't find the SURVEY anywhere online to find out how it was carried out and what the conclusions were, just references to it.

The commercial element in bottle feeding is a factor - the adverts plug these as being nearly the same as breast milk. I find that unacceptable. There is no commercial bias from the breast- feeding promoters.

The photographer Martin Parr has a wonderful ironic photo of a topless Mum on a beach bottle feeding her baby.

And do they benefit in anyway from the companies producing baby milk? I know that many of these websites- GN included receive products to review and wonder if this goes further.
Ana the issue is that in stating bottle feeding mums are being abused a backlash effect is triggered-promoting bottle feeding and portraying bottle feeding mums as an oppressed minority who need support.
As I have said I think mums should decide and receive support for their decision,but I am aware that the baby formulae companies have used many different ways to cling onto this profitable market.

Actually, it wasn't quite an independent "survey".

On their page they say "We asked mums to share their stories about feeding their babies, to show how different the truth can be from the textbooks" so the replies they got were from those who volunteered to tell their stories, with no control group. No way of weeding out bias.

The survey was done by Channelmums "Channel Mum Founder, Siobhan Freegard OBE, previously founded the UK’s biggest parenting website, Netmums."

I bottle fed all three DDs from the start. They are now all in their 30s and I have always had great relationships with them, so no bonding problems. They have all been healthy with only normal childhood illnesses ( long may that remain so ). They all did well at school and have responsible jobs. Never had any pressure for either side of the 'argument'. mums should do what makes them and their babies happy.

I don't see how telling women they're more likely to get abuse thown at them is promoting bottle feeding

I am a bit concerned about the article's claims. There is no mention of who conducted the survey and I wonder if there might be a vested interest here. The companies making baby milk have a vested interest in promoting bottle feeding and may have found another way to do it.

There are known class differences in breast/ bottle feeding habits. No prizes for guessing in which direction.

"According to the survey, breastfeeding in public places from parks to restaurants is now more acceptable than bottle feeding as 39% of mums using bottles while out have suffered a volley of abuse, compared with 28% of mothers who breastfeed."

Blimey - it's totally unacceptable that anyone feeding a baby should have to suffer a 'volley of abuse'...

Couldn't find the Huff Post one, but this one from the Mirror is along the same lines.
www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/health/mums-who-bottle-feed-babies-5774386

Here's the Times article, though it only gives a small part:
www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/health/child-health/article4453498.ece
I wonder if it has been discussed on Mumsnet?

I agree with MamaCaz in that I'd like a link to the articles referred to in the OP, or at least some more information as to what sort of negative reactions the bottle-feeding mums are getting.

As it is, this thread is just a list of how successful or otherwise our attempts at breastfeeding were.

I loved breast feeding - there is something very special about the closeness of feeding a wee babe. I would not have missed the experience for the world and am delighted that my DDs have breast fed all of theirs in spite of initial problems for some.

I was unable to feed my first child and that was a big disappointment to me as I wanted very much to do so - I did not get enough encouragement when problems arose; in fact the midwife said (imagine broad Scots accent) "You cannae feed, you have nae the boosoms for it!" - well that really helped as you can imagine! But she was wrong, as I fed the others till they were one.

It was the only time in my life that I'd had a cleavage so I wanted it to go on forever. Also found that, if I ate less towards the end of the time that I planned to breast feed, it was a great way of getting my figure back [not sure what it did to my calcium levels but I've always ate lots of cheese so should be ok].

My grandson has been bottle fed from the get-go (not going into details here as to why) and he is thriving and did from the start. He is a placid, contented, ever so happy baby adored by both his parents (not to mention 4 doting grandparents). Partly because of being bottle fed, his two parents are practically interchangeable in looking after him. Lucky boy. So my first point is that there's more to rearing a baby than breastfeeding or not.

I breastfed with not a great deal of success but I soldiered on for about 4 months or so with my babies. I remember leaking milk at one time when I felt particularly frazzled and thinking "I am so over this". So I think there is a bit of a myth that all breastfeeding mums are "earth mother" types drifting along on a cloud of maternal bliss.

(I've not read this whole thread so others may have said similar.)