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(9 Posts)
rubylady Wed 03-Jun-15 15:29:24

My dad has today gone to the solicitor to sort out his Will. He has dementia. He said before he went that in the case of me dying before him, then my share would be split between my DS and charities, not my daughter. I was happy with this as my DS helps him out when he needs it and is concerned for his welfare. My daughter isn't, wouldn't contact him or even know where he is living.

The charities were Tommy's and the PDSA. Tommy's because my dad lost a son after only 12 hours and they had two miscarriages, and they do research into stillbirth and miscarriage and the PDSA because of the pets he has had over his lifetime which have meant so much to him.

He got to the solicitor and told them that he didn't know then who Tommy's was (even though he had told me about it only an hour before) and the PDSA. (Short term memory loss). So he decided then that it should be split equally between my son and my daughter. I am upset as I know that her getting money from someone she does not give two hoots for is wrong, in my opinion. Why should she benefit just because she is tied by blood when she does not care and wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire?

I now have to make sure that I outlive my dad so that she doesn't get a penny. She is only marrying her boyfriend this year because his dad has died and left £30,000 and she can use it to fund the wedding. She said before that that marrying wasn't her thing. No, not til she saw pound signs from someone else she didn't give two hoots about. His dad didn't like her one bit but she is happily spending his money and not giving a jot about it. His dad even had to pay his own son to go and look after him.

AIBU in not wanting her to benefit from the Will of an old man who she had never had the time of day for?

Sugarpufffairy Wed 03-Jun-15 16:26:43

Hi Rubylady
I have no idea why the Law thinks it has the right to decide where people's money goes. We have had similar in the family. There will be similar again when I pop my cloggs.
I think it is only people who have actually been there and helped the deceased person who should inherit but the Law says different.
Some people I know have devised a way of getting round all this but obviously this cant be discussed openly.
I do not think you are unreasonable at all.

HildaW Wed 03-Jun-15 16:38:42

This matter needs raising with the Solicitor. If your father has officially diagnosed dementia any will he makes could be challenged. There are only two criteria for challenging a will (I know we've had to consider this recently with a family member) and not being mentally competent is one of them!

If a solicitor makes a will in the full knowledge that his client has dementia he is laying himself open to a lot of litigation.

Mishap Wed 03-Jun-15 16:45:51

Indeed - if your father has dementia he should not be making a will at all, and a solicitor should not be involved in this. Having said that, if your father is not competent to do so, the law will divide his estate up between the children anyway, should you predecease them.

rubylady Wed 03-Jun-15 16:47:52

Hilda The solicitor has a letter from his doctors stating he is of sound mind.

Sugarpufffairy Thank you, we have always been a very open family but we can't talk about where any money is going to end up? It's a very silly system. I feel for you too. flowers

rubylady Wed 03-Jun-15 16:55:23

Legally you can still make a Will with the condition of dementia.

HildaW Wed 03-Jun-15 17:17:28

If proof of 'Lack of testamentary capacity' can be proven the will can be challenged. Therefore if you feel strongly about this you need to start to collect documentary evidence of your father's health as a matter of urgency.

Either your father has dementia or not...its an illness. 'Being of sound mind' is not necessarily the same.

That being said I do believe that one should be able to draft one's will how one wants if one is capable also if not being dramatically coerced at the time of making it (the other main grounds for challenging).

Ana Wed 03-Jun-15 17:27:42

Have you any reason to suspect you might not outlive your dad. rubylady?

There doesn't seem much you can do about the will unless you persuade him to make another one. You say 'your share' would be split between your two children, so presumably there are other beneficiaries. Would your daughter get so very much anyway?

It seems a shame to brood about what might well never happen anyway.

rubylady Wed 03-Jun-15 17:43:31

Ana I have heart conditions but no, no reason to think like that but we never know, do we? I have two siblings who will now have their brakes cut, lol. Only kidding. I don't know how much my daughter would get as I don't know the division of his Will.