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(11 Posts)
DottySinger Thu 25-Jun-15 12:55:35

Anyone worried about going out of their front door?
I went out the other day, for the first time in 2 years. When I got there I was okay.
I was joining a choir, and as I love singing - I felt okay!
Then they stopped for a tea break.
I hadn't noticed until then - that they had their doors open - to let the sunny weather in.
I said to my friend who took me there - that I wanted to shut all the doors.
I wasn't cold.
That's when I realised I had a problem.
Will I ever pluck up the courage to go there again? I'm not sure!
Anyone out there who has had agoraphobia - and who is now over it?
How did you get over it? What do you suggest I do?

I need help!

Elayne Fri 26-Jun-15 05:54:03


Joan Fri 26-Jun-15 14:16:29

My husband has it. His problem is being among people: he would have been OK with the doors open, as this would have made it easier for him to get outside and away from the people.

He used to be able to go to a function like the kids' school concerts, as long as he could sit near the outside door, and go out when he needed to, but these days he would not be able to consider going at all.

I don't drive any more, so he has to take me food shopping, but we do it quickly and often have to go home before we've finished. He curses and whinges the whole time we are out. But it is just as well i don't drive, or he would get worse, I'm sure, and never go out. I do other shopping by public transport.

He won't go into the back garden either.

If you go to the Doc, be careful what they prescribe - my husband is coming off anti-depressants as the side effects were too bad. I think counselling would be better. My husband won't do it though. Talking to a stranger is more than he can bear.

He thinks he got a delayed form of PTSD, as he got worse and worse the more he remembered his early days in Special Boats (a branch of the RN submarine service where they do special ops). When you get older you tend to remember the old days more and more, and he'd rather not.

Yes - I would recommend counselling by a good psychologist.

Falconbird Fri 26-Jun-15 14:50:13

Sorry to hear about your husband Joan. My father had PTSD after the 2nd World War but in those days it wasn't really talked about or treated.

A doctor may be able to help but the problem is you may have to travel some distance to see a psychologist.

I'm having some success dealing with my problem by myself. I think when my OH passed away I did have and still have PTSD because it was sudden and unexpected.

I plan to make a journey out of town later in the year. I will go by myself because I don't want to bother anyone (although I have had offers from friends to go with me.) I've always suffered from it to a degree even as a child due to moving about a lot and being afraid of being lost.

Annemicheal77 Sat 27-Jun-15 07:26:43

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Lona Sat 27-Jun-15 08:11:03

Just tried to report the last post,not sure it worked. (Mobile site)

louisamay Sat 27-Jun-15 09:24:46

Joan. Have you considered doing your grocery shopping over the Internet.
I get the bulk of mine that way. Some people (friends!) say they would NEVER shop that way as they like to select their own fruit/veg etc. Personally, I think it's brilliant and have never had a problem. We get a huge shop delivered 'off peak' for £1.
It would be one thing less for your DH to cope with, and maybe you could substitute a trip to a coffee/tea shop instead safe in the knowledge that your grocery shopping is all taken care of. Just a thought.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 27-Jun-15 09:35:19

A mild antidepressant can make all the difference. There will be no noticeable side effects. As Elayne said, please go to see your doctor.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 27-Jun-15 09:36:52

I had agoraphobia after the birlth of my first child. It was long before the ssri antidepressant had been invented. More's the pity. I had to try to manage with the old anti-anxiety pills. Now, those do have side effects.

Anniebach Sat 27-Jun-15 10:27:50

I cannot take ssri dugs, side effects are grim for me but not for many. There is only one way to overcome Agoraphobia and it's to face it every day and try to understand it's fear of fear. Most surgeries offer CBT but there is usually a long waiting list. A mild anti depressent may take the edge off the terror . A step by step programme works but has to be carried out every day. It's a vicious illness and still there is a lack of understanding from the majority who have never experienced it

Pamish Thu 02-Jul-15 16:46:40

@ Joan, May also respond to hypnotherapy. There are various therapies that will help him get back outside, CBT on NHS etc. All will get him to the point of coping. But really what he needs is to get to the root of the problem, which won't happen if he is resistant to the idea of talking to anyone. He's afraid, but he's also being sheltered buy you, and where's the incentive to change?