Gransnet forums


Letter to me opened by next door neighbours

(23 Posts)
GreatauntieLinda Fri 25-Sep-15 18:33:44

Knock at door tonight at 6.00p.m. next door neighbour (to whom I do not speak) with letter which they had opened addressed to me with obvious markings on the front from Monument (Headstone) company for my late husbands headstone which the postman had put through their door in error. They had obviously read letter.

Upset beyond belief.

Luckygirl Fri 25-Sep-15 18:36:36

I am very sorry that you have a bad relationship with your neighbours - that is very stressful.

GreatauntieLinda Fri 25-Sep-15 18:40:14

Only the half of it. Had to have an extra fence erected to stop his three dogs coming into my garden. Not a nice person.

rosesarered Fri 25-Sep-15 18:41:56

Not knowing your neighbours, it's hard to say, but about a month ago I picked up about four letters from the mat, ldly flipped through them, only when reading one of them realised it was not for either of us ! It was for a neighbour about three houses away. So, it's entirely possible for this to happen innocently. Plus, your neighbour did bring around the letter in person
And didn't just shove it through the door.

GreatauntieLinda Fri 25-Sep-15 18:45:00

Think I shall have an early night to get away from the stress.

FarNorth Fri 25-Sep-15 18:52:47

brew cupcake GreatauntieLinda.
Try not to dwell on it and I hope you get a good sleep.

janeainsworth Fri 25-Sep-15 19:02:18

Linda I'm sorry you have such a difficult relationship with your neighbour. But I agree with Roses that the chances are that your neighbour just opened the envelope without looking at the name on the front - I've done it myself before now.
Take care flowers

kittylester Fri 25-Sep-15 19:35:00

If a letter lands on our mat I would open it! If I didn't understand the contents I would check whether it was meant for us. That could be what happened in this case.

Maggiemaybe Fri 25-Sep-15 20:22:45

Yes, I've done this too (opened a neighbour's letter by mistake). And had it done to me. I really wouldn't fret about it, GreatauntieLinda. flowers

thatbags Fri 25-Sep-15 20:28:14

I've mistakenly opened letters for others that were delivered to my house and only then realised. Couple of times (when the address was 10 mi,es away!) I've resealed them, marked them "opened in error", highlighted the address, and posted them again. It happens.

The neighbour did the right thing bringing it to you. They didn't just post it through your letterbox with no explanation, which they could have done.

Bellanonna Fri 25-Sep-15 21:19:39

..... Or even binned it and not bothered to pass it on to you. I'd say don't worry at all. Given that the rapport is not good it was actually decent of them to knock, when they could have just popped it through the door.
I've opened post in error too - it happens. Please don't feel upset and just put it behind you.

crun Fri 25-Sep-15 21:33:17

I tend to open everything that drops through the door without reading who it's addressed to simply because I'm the only one living in the house. I've occasionally opened the neighbours mail without noticing it's not mine. Last July I had my medical records delivered by a bloke from the same house number in the next street. Makes you wonder why they weren't sent by recorded delivery really.

I once had a letter addressed to my surname and address, with the wrong first name and wrong postcode. It was some oik who had pulled my name out of the phone directory and used it to register a car at the DVLA. Another ne'er do well decided to do a moonlight without paying his bills, and gave my address to all the utilities as his forwarding address.

vampirequeen Fri 25-Sep-15 22:31:26

I opened my neighbours bank statement by accident even though I don't even use the same bank. It was just an automatic reaction. It came through the door and I assumed it was ours.

Try not to dwell on it. Maybe it was an accident. If it wasn't then he's just a nosey beggar and not worth worrying about.

Anya Fri 25-Sep-15 23:15:04

It's the fact that it's from the memorial company dealing with you husband' headstone, that's made it so upsetting, isn't it? (((hugs)))

Had it been something less personal you might well have shrugged it off.

I hope you managed to get your early night and a peaceful sleep.

harrigran Fri 25-Sep-15 23:17:34

Have to agree it is easily done, I collect post and open all envelopes with letter opener and then check contents.

rosequartz Sat 26-Sep-15 09:44:21

So sorry this happened wuth a sensitive letter GreatauntieLinda flowers

However, at least he brought it round and gave it to you personally.
When DD moved to her present address some of her (correctly addressd) post was delivered next door by mistake - they just threw it away instead of taking it round. She only discovered this after a chat with the postman who had been putting it all in the wrong box for at least two or three weeks. (they have post boxes at the front of the house).

rosequartz Sat 26-Sep-15 09:47:19

Perhaps it could be a breakthrough - perhaps you could become on more neighbourly terms from now?

Merseymog Wed 30-Sep-15 15:42:09

I've opened a neighbor's letter once by mistake because my then partner just handed it to me and assumed it was mine and when I realised the error I felt awful. Of course I should have noticed and almost always do notice in time but under some circumstance it is an easy mistake to make. Who ever checks the post first needs not only to check their own post but also to make sure they don't just pass everything over to their partner or other family members without checking first.

Knowing that my wife is not always as thorough as she should be I do double check before opening my mail and cannot remember when I last opened something that wasn't mine by mistake.

The odd times we get mail wrongly delivered we do hand deliver correctly if possible, otherwise put it pakc in the post box saying "No known at" our address if appropriate

BlackeyedSusan Wed 30-Sep-15 18:54:22

neighbour opened dd's appointment letter and only realised when the appointemnt was for paediatric outpatients..

he was expecting an appointment himself. he is nice though so it is a bit different in the way one feels.

Indinana Wed 30-Sep-15 19:04:34

It is so easily done - as you can see, many GNetters have made the same mistake. It was unfortunate that not only was it a very sensitive and emotionally charged letter, but it was opened by a neighbour with whom you do not get on. Under any other circumstances I think you would be able to dismiss it as just 'one of those things', but I can understand why this has upset you.
I do think, though, that you should try to draw a line under this and not let it nag away at you, because it will be only you that suffers, and it sounds as if you've had your share of suffering lately with losing your husband. Try not to add to that pain by letting something like this upset you too much. (((((hugs))))) and flowers for you.

GreatauntieLinda Thu 01-Oct-15 15:00:51

You are right Indinana. I have put this behind me. Think I was at a very low point last Friday. Thank you for your hugs and flowers.

Thank you too, to all the other GN posters who have tried to get me to put a sensible head on.

janeainsworth Thu 01-Oct-15 17:52:39

You are travelling a hard road Linda - I'm glad you are feeling better now.

GreatauntieLinda Thu 01-Oct-15 18:54:26

Thank you Jane.