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To expect a little gratitude and no complaining

(20 Posts)
Smileless2012 Sun 25-Oct-15 23:11:29

We fly home tomorrow after 3 weeks in Florida with friends; friends of friends. We have a villa here with it's own pool, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, everything you could possibly want or need for a great holiday.

We were coming anyway and I said if they wanted to join us they'd be more than welcome, we're going any way so free accommodation. 3 weeks of her complaints; the heated pool is too warm; when we eat out the portions are too big; when we got the bill one evening $75 per couple she exclaimed "bloody hell", it was a restaurant we suggested, one we really like; she orders salads and then complains there's too much lettuce. Every other evening DH has cooked a BBQ, delicious steaks, pork, chicken and sausages. The sausages are too spicy, one beautiful piece of steak cut into 4, her's had gristle!! the pork wasn't crispy enough. Their bed creaks and is noisy "alright for one I suppose". Are we buying too much coffee, wine and brandy? Do we need more washing powder? Is that lime you're about to throw away really no good?

He's lovely and helpful while she does next to nothing apart from moaning of course. We've had friends here before; they treat us to a meal to say 'thank you' or buy a small gift for the villa, something to remind us of their stay. Once they made a financial contribution towards the expense of their stay and not once, not one single complaint.

So it's 19.10 pm and DH has just lit the BBQ for the last time and I'm typing away on here with my tongue firmly clenched between my teeth and drinking a very large bacardi and coke, and hoping against hope that I can, for just one more evening 'keep my powder dry' as my gran used to say, and say nothing.

Eloethan Sun 25-Oct-15 23:30:27

You are both very kind and generous to invite people to stay and I think it's incredibly rude and ungrateful of this person to keep complaining in such a way.

As you say the chap is nice, I hope you can manage not to say anything - though I'm sure you must be bursting to tell this woman where to get off.

What a shame. It must have partially spoilt your own break. I think friendships are often strained or broken because of shared holidays. It's one thing for friends to go out for the day together or share a meal - but I think three weeks is a real challenge.

Sugarpufffairy Mon 26-Oct-15 03:31:45

I am a bit shocked that this woman who is having a trip at a very reduced price has done nothing but moan. If the husband is pleasant he may be well aware that his OH is a pain in the neck. He is likely very grateful that he is not alone with the OH whining all the time.
I don't have any idea how you "have kept your powder dry". I think her conduct would have had me screaming long before now you have been very patient. Presumably you will not be asking them to come again.
On the way home you could try dropping hints. Well that puts a new spin on eating out. Never heard a word against that restaurant. If they suggest doing the trip again you could always relate a story about a visitor who griped for 3 whole weeks.
I hope it has not spoiled your own trip too much

NfkDumpling Mon 26-Oct-15 06:54:12

I fear I mayn't have had your forbearance! It being your villa, she should have considered herself lucky. Holidaying with friends can be a minefield but we've generally be very fortunate, however there have been a couple of occasions which I'd best not repeat here. Suffice to say that both times, on our return, the annoying person has praised the holiday to the sky, saying what a wonderful time they had!

Antjexix Mon 26-Oct-15 07:00:31

Oh dear,some people. What an unhappy person she must be...

M0nica Mon 26-Oct-15 07:21:14

It is down right bad manners. A three week holiday in the sun, effectively free and all she can do is complain to the donor about how ropey it is? Do you really want an ill-mannered ingrate like that in your life?

If a 'friend' did this to me I think as the plane reached Heathrow, I would turn to her and say quite politely that she has just enjoyed a three week holiday at your expense and all she has done the whole time is complain to you about everythig she doesn't like, that you consider that both bad mannered and ungrateful and you think your friendship should end as you come out of the arrival area.

loopylou Mon 26-Oct-15 08:40:39

To me that is beyond bad manners, and in that situation you're really unable to tell her to leave, aren't you?

I don't know what I would have said or done, but I admire your restraint from not pushing her in the pool.....

gillybob Mon 26-Oct-15 08:44:06

Only 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and a heated pool? No wonder she complained. hmm

Jane10 Mon 26-Oct-15 08:56:46

Maybe she doesn't even know she's doing it? If she's just got that sort of personality her DH doesn't notice she's doing it any more. Whatever, sounds like she should be a permanent exclusion from the guest list!

JamJar1 Mon 26-Oct-15 09:14:12

My goodness, your lucky, lucky guest sounds frightful.
Hope you enjoyed your large bacardi and coke. wine

Riverwalk Mon 26-Oct-15 09:30:35

You can't expect guests to slum-it and not complain! grin

I wouldn't have invited friends of friends for three weeks - it's a long time to be stuck with people who you don't know that well.

I'm very particular and only go away/stay with people that I know well and know their ways and habits. I can't stand things like those who skip lunch because they're mean with money not that they can't afford it.

I guess that will be their last invite!

Nonnie Mon 26-Oct-15 09:40:47

When reading down I was hoping you would not have to sit next to her on the flight and then I got to MOnica's post and thought how wise she is. If you have the guts, steal yourself and say just that. In the long run you will be glad you did as you will never have to make an excuse not to see her every again.

I'm free whenever you go again!grin

Anya Mon 26-Oct-15 10:04:59

Sounds like my American SiL. They came to stay with us for a couple of weeks when they visited the UK and she was just the same. If we went out for a meal she spent ages interrogating the waiter but then just pushed her food around her plate with a sour expression on her face. I wondered how she got so fat if she ate so little until I found all the sweet and chocolate wrappers in the bin in her room after she left.

Nothing was ever right for her. If they visit again I'll book them into the B&B round the corner.

MargaretX Mon 26-Oct-15 10:19:52

Sounds like she isn't suited to American life. A pity she didn't realise it before she went. You wont ask her again.

annsixty Mon 26-Oct-15 11:01:19

The list of all us, your virtual friends, will be very long after reading all you have to offer.grin

harrigran Mon 26-Oct-15 11:50:46

I bet this woman doesn't have many friends, once bitten twice shy springs to mind regarding holidays.

Smileless2012 Mon 26-Oct-15 12:38:09

Thanks for your comments, I felt much better having vented my spleen on here last night and you've got me of to a good start today, especially those of you who made me laugh.

Yes Riverwalk what was I thinking, expecting her to slum itgrin. I was very silly because when I offered for them to come and said we were coming for 3 weeks, she did say would you rather we just stayed for 2 so you have a week to yourselves; Oh no I replied that's fine if you want to come for 3, I thought to say yes that would be nice would be rather rudehmm.

No worries about the flight home as we wont be sitting with them Nonnie. They are very dear and long standing friends of 2 of our oldest and dearest friends, if not for that I would say something.

He's a lovely man and I think that's part of the problem. He does everything for her, if not or him DH and me would have been run off our feet; he even does all of the ironing. We've become very fond of him and I wouldn't want to upset him but they wont be invited again.

He's looked rather embarrassed at times. Because we don't know them that well I think he's noticed ourshockfaces at some of her comments, including the way she speaks to him. I don't think she realises how she comes across, perhaps because no one's ever pulled her up for it.

We'll have to wait and see NfkDumpling if she has nothing but praise for her holiday on their return; I wont be holding my breath though.

We've had a good time, she's a good laugh when she isn't complaining but it has put rather a damper on the holiday, especially this last week which seems to have gone on for ever.

Next year we're planning to come on our own but if we change our minds, I'll let all of my virtual friends know; perhaps, possibly, maybegrin.

Katek Mon 26-Oct-15 13:13:10

You could have a raffle to win a holiday Smileless.....I'll buy a ticket!!

mrsmopp Mon 26-Oct-15 21:04:25

I would love a trip to Florida!
I would be eternally grateful, and I would never complain about a thing!
I would help with the chores, you would enjoy my company, you would be pleased to have me, really!
Am I first in the queue??

Smileless2012 Mon 26-Oct-15 23:31:23