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Was I?

(23 Posts)
mollie Wed 02-Mar-16 17:44:57

What would you do if you dropped in, unannounced and in passing, to find you'd interrupted a chiropody session?

A) sit down and watch?
B) smile nicely at everyone whilst making your apologies and promise to return the next day whilst backing out?

I did (B) which was wrong in the eyes of my mother who has now hurled text messages at me saying I upset her every time I do that (ie whenever I turn up unexpectedly and find she already has visitors or is otherwise engaged with a hairdresser/chiropodist/whoever). I live five minutes away, I see her frequently. Was I being unreasonable?

ninathenana Wed 02-Mar-16 17:51:50

If it had been a friend I'd have done 'b' at my mothers I would have stayed and have done more than once.
Perhaps text first next time or ask if she has any appointments planned as your leaving her house. I'm not saying you shouldn't pop in on your mum but it would save you an ear bashing grin

Ana Wed 02-Mar-16 17:52:33

Perhaps she'd like some warning that you're going to 'pop in'?

You could text/phone her in advance so that she could put you off if she's otherwise engaged...

glammanana Wed 02-Mar-16 17:57:10

I don't think you are being unreasonable on little bit mollie you sound like a kind caring person and I bet your life your dear mum would soon complain if you stopped visiting so often,I do think she is naughty to hurl messages at you did you get her at a bad moment,I wish my mum was still with us so I could visit her at the drop of a hat so to speak.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 02-Mar-16 17:59:21

grin I would definitely have stayed and watched. [smle]

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 02-Mar-16 17:59:59

(You could have gone and made a cup of tea)

mollie Wed 02-Mar-16 18:08:11

I work on the basis that if I stay I'm doubling up opportunities for her to see someone. If I go I can come back and fill a gap when she's on her own. And frankly, sometimes I just glad that I can escape - I have to steel myself to visit at the best of times.

I'm never rude so why the fuss? She likes to have open house with people dropping in and out. And if I know the friend and am feeling in a sociable mood I might stay but not always. And as I'm nearly sixty and have always done this why does she get so blasted upset? You'd think she'd know me by now, wouldn't you? And I really didn't want to watch her having her toenails cut and the soles of her feet scrapped...yuk!

Ana Wed 02-Mar-16 18:17:35

I think I may have misunderstood your OP, mollie, I thought your mum was complaining about you dropping in without prior warning, not that she was complaining because you had left so quickly! Sorry.

WilmaKnickersfit Wed 02-Mar-16 18:24:26

I did giggle when I read your post mollie because despite having a mobile phone for donkey's years, it takes my Mum ages to send a text and chances are she'd send it to the landline anyway! grin

You know you can't win mollie, don't you?

sherish Wed 02-Mar-16 18:28:20

My late Mum would have probably expected me to stay and have a cuppa. I did used to go when her hairdresser was there and just chatted away to both of them. The same with her cleaner.

phoenix Wed 02-Mar-16 19:15:00

I agree with jings re the making of tea.

mollie Wed 02-Mar-16 19:48:03

Absolutely right, Wilma, I invited her out for lunch for my birthday on Saturday but she's busy having her hair done! Did I sulk?

Jalima Wed 02-Mar-16 19:52:21

You know you can't win mollie, don't you?

That just about sums it up!

Synonymous Wed 02-Mar-16 21:46:19

How lovely to still have your mum into your 60s! She sounds a feisty lady and I have to agree that you are never going to win. grin

annodomini Wed 02-Mar-16 23:00:57

I think I'd ask if she wanted me to stay and put the kettle on.

WilmaKnickersfit Thu 03-Mar-16 00:44:08

My guess is you breathed a sigh of relief mollie grin

Enjoy your birthday lunch. flowers

Elrel Thu 03-Mar-16 00:55:19

Wilma - I don't think you're actually my daughter but this evening she wearily mentioned that I'd done it again. 3 texts to her landline. Apparently the one describing the volcanic eruption of a lump on my shoulder was far too much information for my SiL. She did say that it was beautifully enunciated by the female voice on the phone. Oh dear.

WilmaKnickersfit Thu 03-Mar-16 01:19:08

Elrel grin My Mum is the only person who sends a text to our land line. She's on holiday in Lanzarote, so I'm expecting one any day now to tell me what the weather is like over there. She sometimes realises what's she's done and sends another to my mobile, but usually I just tell her when she's back home. It's a bit of a family joke now and all said with great fondness. Never had a message about anything as exciting the lump on your shoulder though! Bless. grin

FarNorth Thu 03-Mar-16 06:28:27

mollie if your mum likes people dropping in, you got that bit right.
If she doesn't like them dropping out again quickly, you got that wrong.

Maybe she likes to feel gregarious by having more than one person around at a time?
If it happens again, why not just ask her if she'd like you to stay /make a cup of tea or come back later.

Can't say I'd fancy sharing her chiropody session, all the same.

Anya Thu 03-Mar-16 06:58:03

Yuk! Who wants to stay and see a chiropodist at work.

I'd have done the same. No win situation.

mollie Thu 03-Mar-16 07:41:17

I did it once when she and my brother had their coats on ready to take the dog to the vet. Rather than hold them up, I turned on my heel and said I'd come back another time. That was wrong too ... Another ear-bashing!

Mum never sends texts to my land line, my brother does that. But she does send unfathomable texts sometimes : what does 'TV by put' mean? I didn't dare ask as she was already cross enough and pointing out any mistakes would have made her worse.

I'm supposed to be going back this morning but I really don't fancy being moaned at...

FarNorth Thu 03-Mar-16 08:00:35

I think I'd feel put out if a visitor turned on their heel and said they'd come back another time without giving me any say in it.
I might have a different view of the situation from them and might make another suggestion. Even if it was just "I'll be in after 2pm, can you come back then?"

It seems to me that you deciding whether to stay or go, without giving your Mum any choice, could be the thing that is annoying her? Why not ask if that's it?

Indinana Thu 03-Mar-16 09:03:56

I think I'd have done the same as you mollie - if you're only 5 minutes away then you can go back so easily after the foot-scraping's finished [yuk emoticon].

Maybe if you do it every time someone else is there, then I can understand why she gets upset, because it might appear to her that you're snubbing her friends. Or maybe she just loves to have several people at once visiting her, creating a bit of a buzz in her otherwise quiet life.

But I would definitely draw the line at watching her chiropody treatment shock