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AIBU

Pensioner on a train

(70 Posts)
Penstemmon Tue 26-Jul-16 13:39:40

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3705954/Shocking-moment-pensioner-train-puts-young-boy-arm-lock-child-refused-feet-seats.html

AIBU to think the pensioner had a point??? Some papers are calling it shocking etc etc. but would also be 'shocked' by kids being rude and disrespectful.
I do not really agree with physical restraint /punishment for children ...but they might think twice next time...if the stupid media do not make them out to be 'victims' and martyrs!!

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 27-Jul-16 01:54:08

He must have wrenched the arm back forcefully for the boy to be in that position. And it does look only a very little arm!

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 27-Jul-16 01:55:18

Bet he wouldn't have tackled a football hooligan.

Eloethan Wed 27-Jul-16 02:00:30

I don't think many people would condone him assaulting a child.

But I tend to agree with you Pestemmon that the boys - and other passengers - were at fault too. I find it disappointing that young boys could be so defiant and cheeky to an elderly man without other passengers coming to his support.

Penstemmon Wed 27-Jul-16 10:56:12

I have made it clear I do not think the man should have armlocked the kid.. if he had hurt him it would have been worse for him as well as the kid. But I would like to see the press state clearly that the boys were in the wrong and should have responded to a reasonable request from a member of the public to behave. Otherwise this does lead to some kids feeling they can do what they want.

Gononsuch Wed 27-Jul-16 11:02:04

I would have thought after Jo Cox that you don't interfere.
We never travel on public transport because of the unsavory things that happen.
That poor pensioner was in the wrong or was he just a bully and picked on them because he could.

DaphneBroon Wed 27-Jul-16 11:04:50

Hear, hear Penstemmon!
Unfortunately most of do have to use public transport, gononsuch especially if it is the chauffeur's day off or the Learjet is in for its MOT

BlueBelle Wed 27-Jul-16 11:06:44

Dreadful reaction, most kids will respond if spoken nicely too if they don't then you tell a guard, if no guard you move. You cannot reprimand anyone physically
Hostility breeds anger the boys have won full stop

Gononsuch Wed 27-Jul-16 11:08:18

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Elegran Wed 27-Jul-16 11:13:24

Lucky you, having a car. Many of us have no choice between public or private transport, it is public or walk. Should we also have no choice but to accept the behaviour of Little Emperors who have never been taught that there are other people in the world besides them?

Public transport is for all, not just for selfish little **s who put their dirty feet on the seats and keep someone else from sitting down.

Bring back conductors and guards.

BlueBelle Wed 27-Jul-16 12:09:27

No you don't accept it Elegran but there are ways of dealing with it and manhandling a young lad is not one of them it will only get you into trouble and make them more determined to annoy... I always remember an old proverb about the east and west wind having an argument about who could make the man take his coat off The east wind just blew stronger and harder in an effort to get it off but the man just pulled his coat around him tighter The west wind went to a breeze and let the sun shine through and the man got too warm and took his coat off

Works in real life too

sunseeker Wed 27-Jul-16 12:31:24

Of course the man shouldn't have put his hands on the boy but the boys were out of order and I do question the parenting skills of their parents, why did they not teach their children good manners? Are the parents suitable ashamed of the actions of their children or are they wallowing in the publicity proclaiming their children are little angels who never do anything wrong.

DaphneBroon Wed 27-Jul-16 12:38:27

we also have a very good relationship one that's got love and kindness and understanding. Not every one has, hows your sister

Not sure
1) who this is addressed to (if me, Maggie is braw thanks, awa at the but n'ben wi' the bairns)
Or indeed
2) what this has to do with anything?
confused

BlueBelle Wed 27-Jul-16 12:56:52

I love the " We never travel on public transport because of unsavoury things that happen" some of us have no choice and I don't meet too many unsavoury things happening, I usually find someone to chat to which passes the time away enormously, last time I was on a train journey I met a lady equestrian and a postman we exchanged lots of info, saw pictures of new babies, shared crisps ( they were savoury ones) and generally enjoyed the journey

To be honest I don't see why you would query the parents skill did your children or grandchildren never to anything unsociable when out of your eyeline Although I totally agree putting your feet on the seat is not a decent thing to do its not actually the crime if the century and look how rumours fly they have now become "dirty little feet" yet there is nothing in the write up to suggest they were dirty I can't imagine they were that horrendous children or a nearby woman wouldn't have tried to protect them as is reported

DaphneBroon Wed 27-Jul-16 13:07:49

Thank goodness they were "savoury" crisps, Blue Belle you wouldn't want to risk "unsavoury" ones!! grin

BlueBelle Wed 27-Jul-16 13:10:39

Blooming right DaphneBoon

Elegran Wed 27-Jul-16 13:19:23

"dirty litttle feet" I wouldn't sit down on the ground where those feet had been walking, so I don't like the thought of sitting on the seat where they have been parked.

What the man did was wrong. But, Gononsuch What would YOU have done in the situation? First asked the child to remove his feet from the seat, obviously. I don't know whether other seats were available, but assuming they were not, then do feet qualify for a seat when someone has to stand? And even if there WERE other seats available, then they should not have been on a seat in the seat at all, and I imagine there was a notice somewhere saying so.

Then what? When he refused to move them, would you have walked away meekly?

It would be very useful to know just how to go about sharing public transport amicably with a spoilt and child.

Anniebach Wed 27-Jul-16 14:12:06

The youngsters may have responsible parents, when a group that age get together not at all unusual for them to do what they shouldn't

I was at one time a cub mistress so boys the same age as the boys on the train ,knew all the parents , there were times I thought I was entering a world of 'Lord of the Flies'

Did no one here do things they were taught not to do? I did

Ana Wed 27-Jul-16 14:18:32

Yes, but unlike the boy in the report, we would undoubtedly have whipped our feet off sharpish if an adult had told us to!

Anniebach Wed 27-Jul-16 14:24:44

True Ana

hulahoop Wed 27-Jul-16 15:33:22

There are notices on trains asking you not to put feet on seats but unfortunately a lot ignore it I must admit I often feel like telling those what do it but you usually get a mouthful it's same with passengers who think they can use two seats I have had some every large tuts from them when I have asked them to move them when no other seat available I just wish some people would be more considerate unfortunately on our local trains you don't often see a guard .

Penstemmon Wed 27-Jul-16 18:26:34

If the reporting was more even handed and had made a deal about the boys not behaving well I would not be cross. The Sun & Mail chose to report ot sensationally making the boys complete victims. That is my issue.

FarNorth Wed 27-Jul-16 18:49:20

It would be wrong for the papers to report in such a way that someone might think it was okay to attack a child if that child was seen to be behaving badly.

It's perfectly possible that the seat the man was sitting on had previously had feet put on it, yet he managed to cope. We all do.

Some kids being badly behaved and cheeky - not exactly news is it, and not a crime.

An adult physically attacking a quite small child is news and is a crime, even more than it would be if he attacked someone his own size.

Anniebach Wed 27-Jul-16 18:59:58

Wonder how the man copes surgery appointments , bums on seats !

Penstemmon Wed 27-Jul-16 20:19:18

I am not expecting the press to condone the man's vigilante approach! But I think it is right to frame it more truthfully.

e.g. 3 boys, ages 9-11, travelling from X to Y who flouted the rules to keep feet off train seats, ignored requests from a fellow passenger to take their feet off seats and replied to his request with jibes and laughter were shocked when the passenger apparently lost his temper and assaulted one of the children by pulling his arm behind his back an armlock. Another passenger stepped in to ensure no further harm came to the boys. The incident is being investigated by xyz.

Children do need to understand that there are consequences to actions/choices they make.. not suggesting the consequence in this case was appropriate BUT most kids would have mumbled a sorry and moved away! Isn't that what you hope your kids/grandkids would have done??

DaphneBroon Wed 27-Jul-16 20:41:23

Ah but Penstemmon never let the facts get in the way of a good story!