TO THINK THAT THIS IS UNACCEPTABLY GREEDY

Or if she feels she can't get out of going, simply reply to the son's email saying "so sorry, this request has come too late as I have already bought your mother's birthday present".

But quite frankly, if it were me I'd be very tempted to spell out to the son, very very clearly, how extremely rude and presumptuous such a request is and that therefore I'm afraid I will not be attending after all.

And I make sure they all know the charity donation is not compulsory !!

I ask for charity donations , I have no wants at my age ! anyway I wouldn't be fit enough to go on one of those trips lol

This seems to be the thing these days, asking for money for weddings, honeymoons, special trips etc., I am probably terribly old fashioned but I am of the opinion that asking for money in that manner is exceptionally rude. Presents, money or in kind, should be given because the giver wants to give them. If your friend wants to give something she should give what she can really afford, be it £10 or £50, seal it firmly in an envelope so no one but the recipient can see it, alternatively do the same with the bank account. No one but the recipient will know how much. Personally, being on the end of such a rude request my donation would probably be £10. Other than that suddenly remember that a long lost cousin will be coming to visit and forget the whole thing, she has every right to.

She should just find something else to do that day and rescind her acceptance.

I have, like most of us, several friends and acquaintances who are celebrating birthdays that take us well into the OAP bracket - all, without exception, have said they have everything they need and want no presents.

"Thanks, but no thank you. I have better ways to spend my money."