Gransnet forums


AIBU to expect more

(7 Posts)
Angib Sat 17-Sep-16 15:15:43

It's over a year since I have seen my daughter and her family, we don't live close but every time we try to see them there's always a reason why its inconvenient. She has recently had another baby but we seemed to be the last to know that she was pregnant and only found out when we made our usual phone call (she never phones us) and at the end of the conversation she said by the way I'm pregnant. We've bent over backwards to try to we the new baby and our other grandchild and have been told we can see them for a couple of hours, which I'll happily accept but AIBU to expect more, a whole day would have been nice, a weekend even better but I know that's out of the question. When we speak everything is fairly amicable but when I ask for some photos I'm told yes we'll send some but they never do. How can I resolve this without having an argument which I know will omly make things worse. When I've spoken to her about it in the past she thinks I'm making too much of a fuss and doesn't see that there's a problem.

tanith Sat 17-Sep-16 15:26:48

Sometimes we just have to accept things the way our children want them or risk making things worse unless its likely her partner/husband is the problem. Is it possible he is putting these obstacles in the way?
One of my children is terrible about keeping in touch and doesn't realise how hard it is for me not to be close to his child but its the way he is and I've come to accept it now and make the most of any time I do share with them. Its not easy but thats families for you.

obieone Sat 17-Sep-16 16:17:38

How often do they see the in laws?

Luckygirl Sat 17-Sep-16 16:20:50

I do not think you can force this in any way without risking even less contact - I am sorry that this is how things are for you and can understand how disappointed you must be.

obieone Sat 17-Sep-16 16:25:06

Out of interest Angib, , did she used to do everything for her?
I often see it on gransnet, that the parents who bent over backwards for their children, seem to end up being pushed out by them when grandchildren arrive. Not sure why.

obieone Sat 17-Sep-16 16:25:39

you not she

Angib Sat 17-Sep-16 16:35:33

Thanks for all your replies, they confirm what I thought that I should just stay in the background and accept all the times that I can see them, however frustrating that is. They do see a lot of the in-laws but as they live closer and are quite a large family I suppose this is to be expected, if annoying.