What do you think? Joke I found offensive.

Rigby - it's just untrue, I think people would be shocked if they heard how kids speak when they're on their own. Homophobic and sexist language is on the rise as the country slips further to the right.

Where are all the gay politicians, actors, sports stars? Why do so many gay people pretend to be heterosexual? Because the world is still incredibly homophobic and it's really important to challenge casual homophobia.

If all kids stamp on it, why are there many examples of this type of language being used in schools? That a far too rosy view of reality

My DD teaches at a school where words of this kind would be stamped on very quickly. I hope all schools these days are the same.

I think so, bells. I doubt any school drama teacher would risk an army of angry parents at the school gates. Even an old script would be edited and brought up to date.

I agree with Bags that kids stamp on unacceptable stuff. Had any of my DGCs been in that audience there would be whispers of, 'That's awful. You can't say that!'

I'm with bells on this - the use of fairy & poof in that context has no place in a children's production.

I'm really surprised it was in the script to be honest - be interesting to hear any response from the director.

Doubt that I'll get a reply Bags. But will let you know if I do.

I don't think secondary schools can stamp on a lot of stuff teenagers say because teachers and other staff don't even hear most of it. I get the impression from Minibags that the kids stamp on unacceptable stuff themselves. As we did. Didn't we?

The joke in question might have bothered me a bit had I been in the audience but I think in a free society we have to expect to be bothered by stuff we hear. The fact that we find something offensive doesn't mean it shouldn't be allowed to be said. I know a lot of people don't agree with this idea.

Let us know what the director says in reply to your letter, bellsisabelle.

BlueBell it was only thw third performance. Plenty more to come. It would be great if the joke were to be left out. Fingers crossed.

Yes. Tbh I would also be interested jayanna. Apologies.

My DD teaches at a school where words of this kind would be stamped on very quickly. I hope all schools these days are the same.

I'd be interested in your friends' opinions, jayanna.

I agree it's not about taking away adults fun or even offending gays or anyone else for that matter it's not about it being a bit risqué and near the bone and it's not about it going over the heads of little kids.

I also agree a lot of 16 year olds are very aware and happy to accept all sorts nowa days I am guessing your grandkids go to a good school and it's not neccarily all school children that are so clued up and accepting Thatbags mine do too and their school is very hot on bullying but there are schools round here where you hear some horrendous 'banter' these days Yes it's called banter (another dumbing down sounds so much nicer than bullying and removes the blame to the victim.... oh it's just a bit of banter you're too sensitive).... it's about making sure that words, jokes, banter don't become the norm don't become unshocking and it's definitely about teaching small children respect of ALL ...fat, thin, black,white, straight or gay
I don't think the paedo thing is very different Daphne it all comes from the same route getting a laugh at someone's expense it's ALL bullying looking big in the eyes of your mates
I m glad you walked out belles and wrote to the director hopefully she ll take it on board

I'm not crusading on their behalf! Why would you think that?

I'm gonna leave this. The replies are actually becoming comical.

Actually these gay people were adolescents very recently. Still not interested? I don't think they would appreciate your crusading on their behalf.

At ages 11 and fifteen, I would have had to have dragged them there by hawser and cart horses!

If these words (poof, fairy) had been directed at one particular person then yes, this would be offensive. But the context here is a pantomime, where no-one expects PC or needs to get upset at the tone of the jokes even if they are not in the Best Possible Taste. (Was that Bette Midler?)

My grandchildren don't even know I went! Lol!

Do your grandchildren know why you walked out?

I'm not actually intyerested in what adult gay people think of it. I am thinking children here. Young adolescents in particular. You know, the age when bullying can cut deep.

Not in the first half Ankers. (We walked out when the interval came round. We did, and do, feel strongly about it) Best not to put such unkind words into the mouths of children. IMO.

I have emailed the director. She has been directing this annual event for many years now.

Bags - old scripts can be amended.

Off to lunch with gay friends. Will ask what they think!

Were there other jokes in the panto you went to, like the one you quoted bellsisabelle?

Panto is traditionally full of these innuendos, let's not get too PC about it, homophobia is much more serious than a few silly jokes. I'm sure gay people are not losing sleep about it.
If you have concerns then talk to your grandchildren and explain why you are worried.

Bubbled me= bubble some

It isn't about gay people taking offence - it's about using unacceptable language in a context that sends a message that it's acceptable. It's about children and young people using that language to make fun of others who may be struggling with their sexuality -that is happening in schools regularly even if not in the school thatbags has experience of. There is still homosexual gay hate crime. Would we accept racist jokes of that ilk? There's double entendre and then there's the unacceptable - I do wonder what bubbled me of you are living in

I don't think that it's even gays anymore, it is more diverse than that these days. There are so many sexual orientations other than straight/gay/lesbian/trans these days. Watching the film Pride today, I can't believe how far we have come since the early 1980's in society acceptance of gays etc, as it should have been for generations before.

When my sister told my ex husband that she was gay, he told her "As long as you don't become a United supporter". This was in 1997, and she was very worried about telling us. I don't know why, she was still my sister, I didn't care what she did in a bedroom. As long as she was treated right and treated right in return. Like anybody.

But with regards to the panto, there have been double entendres in panto for a very long time, adults get the jokes, kids laugh at the silliness of the show. I do think gay people would not take offence at what was said, it's hardly scathing, is it? One transvestite I knew would cut you down to size just by a side glance, whilst putting your eye liner on in the ladies! Brilliant.

Being called a "paedo"" because someone was refereeing junior football games is an entirely different issue Blue Belle and at a whole new level of slander of the criminal variety. I sincerely hope those guilty were punished or warned that they risked prosecution for what they were spreading.
To get back to the panto, surely what bellsisabelle describes is mild typical panto humour. Corny, not very funny but not in the same league .