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New year marriage splits

(8 Posts)
Ellie13 Wed 04-Jan-17 15:03:00

Having read some sad stories in the press about some men and women ending their relationships at or very near Christmas, I just wanted to say this. My husband ended our 25 year marriage at Christmas nine years ago, he was having an affair. We lived in a house that went with his job, which he decided to leave and move to live with his new partner, giving me two weeks to get out, he emptied our bank account and declared himself bankrupt so I couldn't get any money from him and went, leaving myself and our two adult children, they didn't see him for eight years, his choice, he the came back into their lives only to emigrate six weeks later! However, nine years on, I'm married again to a lovely man and have a new life, including studying for a degree, I have a much adored granddaughter and my new husband loves and is lovely by my children. Yes it was awful, hurtful and soul destroying, I thought I would never be happy again. But, there is always happiness and hope and the idiot I was married to is the unlucky one because he doesn't have these wonderful people and memories in his life.If you going through this, hang on and let people help you, if someone has done this to you, you deserve so much better and they are the ones in the end who are the losers.

Alima Wed 04-Jan-17 15:07:52

How wonderful that you came through such an awful time to find such greater happiness. Your news will no doubt help anyone "going through it" now. All the best for 2017.

Teetime Wed 04-Jan-17 15:21:21

Ellie13 yours is a very inspiring story I'm so glad things turned out well for you.

Smileless2012 Wed 04-Jan-17 16:34:06

What a lovely post Ellie I have no doubt that anyone who finds themselves in the position you were in 9 years ago will be inspired and strengthened by your story.

Christinefrance Wed 04-Jan-17 16:39:06

Ellie13, lovely story and it will give hope to those people who are having similar problems. Christmas seems to exacerbate any existing difficulties for couples.

grannylyn65 Wed 04-Jan-17 16:53:28

Ellie flowersflowers😘

Grannyben Thu 05-Jan-17 19:29:49

So lovely to read this post giving hope to others who may be suffering

annodomini Thu 05-Jan-17 20:19:50

Mine announced on New Year's Day 31 years ago that he had found someone else. I'd had suspicions but it was still devastating to have them confirmed. However, eventually we were divorced and I was able to get on with finding myself. Sorry if that sounds trite, but I had the kind of holidays he wouldn't contemplate; I did an OU French course; became a local councillor and school governor and continued to enjoy my job in further education. My sons were wonderfully supportive and still are, having provided me with five grandchildren. My ex and his wife live thousands of miles away and he has missed seeing his GC growing up. I know I shouldn't gloat but....