Help with 'Sortng Out' before move

Oh Marmight, it is so sad when it comes to sorting out the family home but to do it without adequate support is very difficult.
You have been so strong but I think now is the time to put your cards on the table and tell it how it is.

I hope your DD sees the light and stays to help you.
On a practical note : when we moved recently we only took what we really wanted, DCs took what they wanted and we got house clearance people to just take the rest. After 30+ years we had accumulated so much 'stuff'. I must say that I've never missed any of it.
We did this when clearing my mother's and MiL's houses too. Its not painless as you have to decide what really matters but it takes care of the boring practicalities and creates local employment. Good luck. You'll be missed locally.

Just a thought - wouldn't it be possible for your daughter's DH to take the DC up to his sister's on his own - clearing the way for you and your DD to have a good clearing out weekend?

I really can understand how you must be feeling. I do think that the suggestion of asking someone to help you who has no emotional involvement might be one way forward. We have recently cleared our house in preparation for a move, and I have to say that in the end we did become pretty ruthless - that truly is no way we could have taken everything we wanted to.

One thing that we found sweetened the pill was to put things on Freecycle - we met some really nice people doing this and there were those who went away very happy - that was good to see and we were able to know that the things had been appreciated.

It is hard to know why your DD is taking this attitude - as others have said, maybe she feels that she might find it hard.

I do hope you manage to get this difficult job done.

It's an undeniably emotional and stressful thing to do. No, you aren't being unreasonable in wanting help, I think kitty is likely to be spot on about your daughters reactions. It's hard for you all. Yes, do tell your family how hard this is. Just wondering, is there a close friend or perhaps more distant family member who could also offer help? I'm in the South or would be offering my practical support. Take care, wishing you well with the sorting and the move, please let us know how things go for you.

Please let us know how things go, both of you!

After my recent health scare I have now decided I should move closer to my in laws so I will be going through the pain of sorting out and disposing of some the things we accumulated over 43 years. I don't have children and have always found it hard to ask for help so will probably end up doing it all myself - not something I am looking forward to, so you have my sympathies

Marmight, kittylester is exactly right, you have managed so well that your children don't realise how hard this move is for you. To save repetition I think you should go with Kitty 's suggestions.
I wish you well in your new home and life

A great big (((hug))) marmight which isn't much help but all I can offer from right down here.

You are not being unreasonable at all. You really could do with some help but I bet you have coped too well since John died and your girls don't realise what it has taken for you to do so.

It is probably an enormous thing in your daughter's mind too. It was her family home and it looks like she is a bit anxious about helping you pack up her history and that of her sisters.

She is perhaps scared of seeing her hitherto strong mum upset when you have been so strong.

I think you have to be open with her and say it's really difficult for you to cope with and suggest she sends Sil off, with the children as planned, and you two try to do the emotional stuff while they are away.

I hope the move goes well and wish I could do more to help.

Marmite I too would help if I could.
It's a daunting task to cope with alone. Maybe as you say you have coped so well since your DH that your family don't realise how over whelmed you feel now. Could you explain to your DD and tell her you need her help.
I understand your feelings, I'd feel the same.

No I don't at all. But your DD is the filling in the sandwich. And I'm afraid that some times one has to take the top slice of bread off if it gets too much. Your dd has to walk the tightrope between children at half term and her DH at half term. I am trying to reduce the amount of stuff in this house after 40 years and I totally sympathise with you. The thought of moving horrifies me. If I were nearer I would give you a hand.