Am I being Mean?

Just want to tell you about my 14 yr old grandson. He just completed a sponsored cycle race. It took 2 hours, in the dark, across the Yorkshire moors. They were monitored along the way to ensure they didn't get lost or harmed. They cycled for 17 miles off road which was a big achievement imo. He said would we mind sponsoring him (along with others) because as he told us 'You will get it all back because it is in aid of Help The Aged'! Cheek!

What became of those boys? One became a geneticist and the other an environmental scientist. Good experience for them both.

At least these young people were doing something worthwhile! They weren't just hanging about street corners and causing trouble were they? Give them a break. They were learning that if you want something badly you have to work for it! What is wrong with that?

My son did exactly the same kind of thing with the British Exploring Society through school. Remember the boy who was killed by a polar bear? That is where he went. They were doing scientific work measuring the glaciers and other things so something worthwhile too. There were two of them from our local school and they went on the radio talking about what they intended to achieve in Norway. They gave talks to groups when they came back ie WI and Rotary Club etc. They did all kinds of odd jobs cutting grass, cleaning windows, cleaning cars etc etc. and it took an enormous effort on their part to raise enough to allow them to go.

Please do not put children like this down. Give them a break!

Mauriherb in response to your question ...yes, you are being mean and you are casting a cloud over the efforts of these young people. Shame on you.

Hi Linsco56 and everybody - my son did the World Challenge thing too when he was 16. - and it was thoroughly worthwhile experience for him. He earned money for it over 6 months prior to the trip cleaning neighbours' cars, weeding gardens etc. and we paid the rest. The money his group raised was spent on building an adventure play area and providing equipment for children in deprived areas of the country they were visiting.He was taken by his (adult and experienced) group leaders - and the Masai - to wild areas 25 miles from the nearest road and learned to fish and forage for food, as well as doing a climb of Mount Kenya.

He learned that if you do not plan properly,and make sure you have the right equipment, you can put people's lives in danger. He learned that teamwork is essential on a project if it is to succeed.He learned to take responsibility and to find his way around - previously,getting across his home city in daylight without getting lost had occasionally been an issue! And he learned leadership skills, and to cope with emergencies.

He is now a senior paramedic and has made a difference to many people's lives.
Give young people a chance, I say

Nanna58 congratulations to your daughter, but as you say she worked to raise the money. That is admirable and very different from packing bags and extorting money from people who may very well be worse off than you.

She grew up on that trip - invaluable!
Nobody on here is doubting that these trips are good for the people who go on them… the questioning is whether or not they're a good/efficient way to support the places that are hosting them!

Not 'a jolly' at all! My daughter went on a world experience trip like this at 17 and it was the making of her. In Kenya they helped build a school, learnt to budget, bought, and in the case of a chicken or two killed, their own food, and climbed Mount Kenya. She raised half the funds, cleaning, silver service waiting , and a sandwich making service for teachers at her school, and we matched the amount. She grew up on that trip - invaluable!

Sorry, that should be Stansgran

I agree with Stansgrad. Also check out the Kilimanjaro Porters Assistance Project set up to 'improve the distressing working conditions of the porters working on Kilimanjaro'.
They are organised through tour companies but are not always paid by the tour companies.
I hope these people are collecting money to pay the porters too. Imagine doing the work they do and having to rely on tips.

My neice has done something similar. She and friends raised money in all sorts of ways, bag packing, car washing, garage sales, guess the number of sweets in a jar etc etc. Not just asking for sponsors. Then they went to Africa and had an amazing, life changing experience helping build a school . Ive seen the photos and heard the talk. She is totally inspired by what she saw and did and learnt about how children live in Africa etc. Well worth rge money in my view but the bulk of it went to the African village I believe.
What I do object to is sponsoring someone (adult) to have a great holiday and raising money gor charity on the side. I hate being asked to sponsor people and its wven worse asking for peopleto spinsor you or your children. But it does actually raise a lot of money.

I have an acquaintance who was going on the adventurous holiday of a lifetime anyway, and then asked for sponsors. It wasn't a charity I would normally support, but felt I couldn't say no, so coughed up a tenner. I don't consider myself mean, I have several standing orders for charities and have 2 voluntary jobs.

Sounds like someone somewhere is making 'loadsamoney' from these so called charitable trips ..... Perhaps the companies that organise the trips.

However the worthy the cause and no matter how close to me the person involved, I would much rather be asked upfront to donate to the relevant charity, rather than be asked to sponsor some charity event.

I quite understand that someone who has had a serious illness and has recovered they want a big event to celebrate it and walking the Great Wall may appeal to them, but please do not ask me to sponsor them, but feel free to ask if I would like to celebrate their recovery by making a donation to a relevant charity and I will.

The OP is correct though, any critical thinking or questioning when it comes to anything registered as a "charity" (which FYI, private schools and stately homes can be, it's not always about the "needy") is deemed "mean". Generally.

I don't think you're being mean either *Mauriherb". This is just a way for them to finance travelling, however they dress it up.

A friend's daughter collected to go on a sailing boat trip (can't remember the name now?) which was supposed to support a charity in some way. It was a well known thing at the time, and kids joined the ship for a while in various different places. I think that other kids with disabilities had free participation.

I did support her, but she, with others, actually put on a large dinner with entertainment, to raise the cash. If I hadn't known her mother since I was 10 I certainly would not have done this, but at least she showed some initiative....

I have to confess that I never let so called charity supporters pack my bags in the supermarket. I'm not remotely interested in supporting a rugby team to go to NZ or a sailing team to enter some competition or other.

If the scheme works as Linsco mentions then that is fine.
However, our local school used to take a rugby team to Australia annually and we were all asked to fundraise, contribute even if our child was not picked for the team - boys only of course! I question the value of that.

and probably more than if I was sponsoring them to keep silent or anything like that.

I once sponsored DD2 when she was doing a 24 hour sponsored silence to raise money for a horse and pony protection charity.
We all benefited, not just the horses!

However, YANBU.
I will donate to the Scouts who pack at the supermarket, donate to charities regularly and once we all held fundraising events for a girl at DD's school to be able to go on an overseas school trip after her father died. However, later we found out that she had very wealthy GPs who contributed nothing.
Sponsoring someone you know who is doing something for a charity which has helped them and others is one thing; total strangers asking for money so that they can have a 'jolly' in the guise of raising some money for charity (much less than the amount raised) is quite another.

It's a money making business, plain and simple.

I am happy to support charity but am averse to donating to what amounts to school fund. When my children were small, I would ask close family members to purchase raffle tickets and similar for school fund but would not have expected the wider group of friends or the public to contribute. I would also prefer the children to actually participate in some activity such as a sponsored walk. Packing bags in a supermarket is not particularly challenging!

Same goes for the gap year add ons of "building a school"

Because an 18 year old who did sociology and art at A level is going to be an asset to the building team!

I've heard of these "build a school" charities employing local builders to knock down the gap-year-kids effords in between groups so that the next group can come and have a go (with no building expertise at all)

I don't think you can honestly say that you will be much help to anyone on a 1 week trip. Even when you start a new job HERE you spend the first week being shown the ropes!

They're not all like this of course. I do know young people who have spent entire summers with charities and learnt how to actually do the job and help.

We owned a business for 26 years and a client/customer once asked my husband to sponsor his daughter, 9and his wife), to go to south of England, (from Aberdeen) to take part in a horse show.

This is a hobby!!! Our own daughter at that time was doing 3 x dancing classes a week, drama class, guitar lessons, ice-skating, hockey, etc, etc,. Can you imagine if we'd asked friends to pay for all our daughter's hobbies?

I would support youth travel for all the reasons listed below if it was "sold" to me as "fund raising for youth travel".

I recently say a "charity trip" advertised, it was one of these where you raise funds.

I'm not kidding it was TWO MORNINGS "working" (i.e. having your hand held by the permanant staff who have enough to bloody do) in a health clinic for children, then the rest was safaris, champagne breakfasts etc…

.. now I can see from the charity's point of view that letting tourists PRETEND to help for two mornings a week, and hosting and literally wining and dining them for the rest of the trip, could still be beneficial if they raise a little above and beyond the expenses towards their medicines or permanant staff…

.. but yet the brochure made me bawk! nobody on those trips was either really emersing themselves in the community (they were effectively USING sick kids to feel good about themselves), nor were they being selfless…. at all…

Completely agree with you on this one. This appears to be a growing trend. I was recently asked to purchase a recipe booklet to fund a 12 year to go to Kenya. Presumably kids cannot be motivated to do charity work unless they go to somewhere exotic or are they being encouraged by adult organisers, who will need their administrative and travel costs covered.

There is a large amount of charitable work that could be undertaken in this country without incurring high travel costs. These would be equally effective in character building and making youngsters aware of others who are less fortunate.

And don't even get me started on "eco tourism" …...