To support Daughter Not Taking 2 year old Twins Camping

Dd's opinion should be respected whatever her reasons.
However we camped when our DDs were little as it was the only way we could afford a holiday. We used to drive to France, collect my school French penfriend and family and off we went. It was hard work but great fun.
When DD1 married and had two young daughters of their own she told me one day they were going to buy a tent. I was horrified. She said they had such lovely memories of family holidays down the years. I asked if she recalled arriving at a site, her playing with everyone then sitting down to a hot meal, bed ready. Did she think there was a campsite fairy preparing all of this? So they bought a caravan and have had lovely, much easier, holidays UK and in France too.

Whilst everyone else is sitting around the fire with a glass of something she'll be sitting in a hot / cold / mozzie filled tent feeling wretched. God no.
I don't know why she can't sit outside the tent with a glass of something or other if the boys are asleep inside!
Fire?
Camping isn't rubbing two sticks together these days and cooking sausages on an open fire

Musicelf I don't think the mother of toddlers ever has a real holiday

I'd hate camping and would never consider going. I would be worried taking 2 year olds as it would be difficult to keep an eye on them all the time and they might run off. Would be worrying if there was any water nearby too.

Went on holiday with 2yr old and 1yr old. As long as Mum gets some help it's fine. Got to be careful if there is a swimming pool around though as accidents can happen. I think they deserve a rest/break from every day routine. I would love it.....but not in a tent.

Love your response - still giggling

Camping with two year old twins sounds like a nightmare and no doubt your DD would be doing the lions share in caring for them if her husband is adamant he wants to take them persuade him to go and she can have a well earned rest at home

On the other hand, my DS is main carer for his DD and is much more aware of her needs than his partner is.

I would not have trusted my DH with one 2 year old, never mind twins, on a camping holiday. He would not have been as alert to dangers as he would need to be. I know this from experience of his caring for our children.

I fully believe the husband ought to be able to do that but it may not be the case.

I think this is the point (I could not say it better) Christinefrance "the father not capable of looking after his children in this situation. Surely the caring role is not entirely down to mothers."

My husband would be very hurt if I thought him unable to care as well for our children, grandchildren, or great grandchildren. They are HIS family as well as mine.

We camped with our children when they were small, we then bought a caravan and travelled all over Britain and Europe with it. It was a lovely way to enjoy family holidays, however, my daughter has twins (now three) and we have been very involved with them since birth. I know how difficult twins can be to ensure their safety, one runs one way and the other goes the other way! The OPs daughter shouldn't feel pressurised to go camping whilst they are so young, it wouldn't be much of a holiday for her in all likelihood. She'll probably enjoy camping again in the future when the twins are older.

Your daughter clearly doesn't want to take her 2 year old twins camping. I think the Inlaws & husband should accept her decision or are they children too?

Clearly your DD feels it would be too much to cope with - not everyone loves camping, if the weather is good then it can be fantastic, if we have our normal rainy cold weather as in the last few Summers it can be a nightmare if you have small children to keep busy. A lot would depend on whether the rest of the family mucked in and helped with the children or if it is just down to your DD to care for them. Perhaps they could do a long weekend with her in-laws and then come back home?

I am out of touch with modern camping but the thought of two 2yr olds running around a campsite, presumably with gas cookers, dogs etc, and other campers - some friendly others maybe aloof and disaproving, and other children, maybe some young girls who would like nothing better than being 'mum' to twins, , but also possibly some bullies or worse - sounds horendous.. I can't see it getting any better when they are 3 or 4! Life is not the same as it was when our generation had young children. But As others have said, it depends if the whole family muck in and take responsibility, and also if the campsite has facilities for small children to play on, and what they will be doing during the day eg is there a beach or will they be sightseeing? . If it were me, and if it is not a long way from where they live, I would go for one or two nights to show willing, and decide from there.

Well said, noteinastorm !

As a granny of twin boys who are the same age as yours Grammy6 I can totally understand your daughter's reluctance to go camping for a week. Respect to her for going last year with them! They shoot off at an alarming rate (never in the same direction) and have no sense of danger whatsoever. I wonder whether the in-laws have day to day experience of the boys and know what hard work it would be for everyone. My only suggestion is would it be possible for your daughter and husband to go to a nearby hotel for a couple of nights and spend time during the days with the in-laws? She certainly should not feel guilt tripped into doing anything just to placate the in-laws.

Cripes, I feel for your daughter. I have always been a camper and know the ropes very well, but the thought of taking my twin boys when they were babies makes me shudder. I'm sorry but I totally agree with not going unless she is really really keen to go. She will be a gibbering wreck, no-one really wants to help as much as they say they will, and wandering around with one sleepless fretful little one is bad enough but two is impossible. No level floor, no instant kettle, no lighting, no loo etc etc etc.
Whilst everyone else is sitting around the fire with a glass of something she'll be sitting in a hot / cold / mozzie filled tent feeling wretched. God no. Not unless your husband is a cross between Bear Grylls and Supernanny.

As far as I am aware camping holidays are not compulsory, if she doesn't want to go then she should not go.

Never mind what the rest of the family think, two year olds when upset or stressed want their mum so it would be no break at all for her. They can go another time when the boys are a bit older and everything won't be such a chore.

If it is in the UK the weather may be vile, or maybe if they can do just a weekend to put in an appearance might suffice. No one should be forced to holiday

Remember Diana and her hatred of Balmoral, where DH and the inlaws camped out each year?! She booked the Spanish trip didn't she for DH and the boys!

She has to stand her ground let them know it's not for her when the twins are so young as camping is not the easiest of situations. But in a few years she will be happy to join them again when they are bit older. Or what about if you went along to help, but answer to your question be careful how you show your support to her as you don't want to create any bad feelings with SIL.

Why force the issue if she doesn't want to go!!

I agree farmgran, the mother obviously finds the twins a lot of work at the moment and imagines - quite rightly- that this campimg holiday will not be an improvement on being at home with all mod cons.
Chidren of that age don't need holidays its the mother that needs a holiday. Hubby should go on his own and then she won't have him to look after and cook for.

If your daughter thinks she won't be able to cope then she probably can't. They'll probably run off in different directions and tents etc haven't got fences round them. I've got twin GS and GD who are two and I can see the difficulty, she wouldn't be able to relax for a moment. One year older when they're three would make all the difference.

Is it a family holiday? Is her daughter part of the family? Is it going to be a holiday for her? It doesn't much sound like it. My daughter loves camping, as do her three children, but it's a personal choice, and with toddler twins I think even my daughter would be daunted. I think that the in-laws are being very selfish, unless of course they are planning on making sure that the daughter has a real holiday.

We still don't know the answers to suzied's questions which seem pertinent and we are all still guessing.